'AITA for yelling at my neighbor for secretly driving my daughter to school?'
"AITA for yelling at my neighbor for secretly driving my daughter to school?"
My (37F) 10-year-old daughter has been walking to school on her own for a couple of years. She knows the route, she's always on time, and she's never had any issues. We live in a relatively safe area and the school is a 15 minute walk from our home, with ample sidewalks and crosswalks.
Today, I found out that our neighbor has been driving her to school without my knowledge. I'm furious and went off on her after I found out. I feel like she's overstepping boundaries and undermining our parenting.
My daughter told me she doesn't think it's a big deal and that it was just some free rides. I'm still concerned about the neighbor's actions and find it concerning. Also that she apparently has been doing this for six months at the end of last school year also, and I told my husband (33M) we needed to set some serious boundaries.
My husband thinks I overreacted and should apologize for shouting at her and that it's her business if she wants to give our daughter a ride anyway, even though we've explained our reasoning in the past. AITA here?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
randothrowaway2024 said:
NTA. First, your daughter needs to know she shouldn't accept rides from anyone that isn't you or dad. Second, how well do you know your neighbor? Like know know your neighbor? She shouldn't be offering rides anyway. Third, how well does your husband know the neighbor to think you're overreacting? And it sounds like your husband needs a wake-up call.
The majority of child abuse cases occur in the home or with someone the child feels comfortable with. Not saying your neighbor is like that, but I don't know the full story. Do whatever you need to. You child's safety comes first.
Odd-Ad-9472 said:
YTA. Simply because you yelled instead of talked. Do you know the whole situation? Did your daughter ask for a ride? Did the neighbor offer because her kid and yours are friends? I gave so many peers of my kids lifts to and from school because of rain or missed buses or they were the last kid walking alone, one thing different I did do was talk to the parent after the fact and offer my number for emergencies.
I know times have changed since then but I think we do not have the whole picture here. There are either other factors or your daughter does not know to never accept rides from non approved people, which is a huge deal. The fact that your daughter hid it makes me think she was scared to tell you. Why is that?
FairyCompetent said:
YTA. Your daughter clearly isn't comfortable walking and obviously didn't feel like she could approach you about it. I'm glad she has a safe adult to turn to.
throwawayacc12e said:
YTA, for making your daughter walk to school by herself. Anything could happen to her. She's lucky to have a neighbor care more about her wellbeing than you. Though the neighbor should've said something from the beginning.
ChiWhiteSox24 said:
ESH - the fact that this went on for 6 months and you had no idea says a lot about your parenting.
giotheitaliandude said:
NTA...your neighbor should've asked you first and your kid shouldn't be getting on an adult's car without your knowledge even if said adult is your neighbor.