'AITA for going into detail of my bad day to make a Mother piss off and leave me alone?"
"AITA for going into detail of my bad day to make a Mother piss off and leave me alone?"
I'm writing this with a bit of a cooler head than earlier in the day and wondering if maybe i'd gone too far, my boyfriend certainly thinks so.
I (22F) have blonde hair that goes past my hips, I love my hair and put a lot of work into maintaining it but you can imagine the comments I sometimes get being compared to Rapunzel etc, and normally I laugh this off and if it's a little kid I indulge them more often than not as it's cute.
I've had a really rough day, my 11-year-old dog had to be put down due to cancer, and I'd went from the vets to a cafe not wanting to go home and see her things and be reminded of it all over again.
So I'd been sitting at a table with a coffee waiting for my boyfriend (23M) to finish work to come and meet me when a mother and her daughter who looked about 8ish (idk i'm not good with kids ages it's a guestimate) came up to me and asked if her daughter could take a picture with me as I "looked just like Rapunzel."
As I said normally I'd indulge this but I was not in the mood, I was in a low mood and had been crying a lot so felt gross, I told them thank you for that compliment but I didn't want to take a picture. The Mother got really upset with me at that and told me I didn't have to be rude and how I didn't even smile, that it would cost me nothing to be nice and how her daughter was just a kid.
I admit I lost my temper with this and told her I wasn't a Disney Cast member for her to badger, that she asked and I said no. That I had just put my dog down and was hiding at this cafe as I was dreading going home to a house without my dog, that I had no interest in posing and putting on a happy face to take a picture with her child. I also started to cry again.
She got very flustered at this and rushed her child away.
My boyfriend finally got to the cafe around half an hour later, and I told him what had happened and he told me I took it too far, that just because I was having a sh#$ty day didn't mean I needed to make other peoples sh#$ty.
I ended up going home not long after. Maybe I was too rude idk. It's too late to do anything about it she was a stranger. I just feel raw emotionally, my boyfriend might be viewing my actions with a clearer head than me.
The internet did not hold back one bit.
idiotball61770 wrote:
NTA. That idiot had no business bothering you at all, let alone getting pissy when you said no. I see this a lot here.... "No is a complete sentence." Now, as long as you weren't rude to the eight year old? The self entitled mother deserved the trauma dump.
OP responded:
Oh absolutely not, no matter how upset I was I'd never take it out on a child, I'd have sooner removed myself from the cafe before that if it was the kid badgering me.
West-Significance890 wrote:
NTA people feel so entitled!! Once politely declining the mother should’ve walked away. iIm sure you weren’t looking smiley and happy like rapunzel. this is a lesson for the kid!! Don’t talk to strangers (kidding kinda)?
OP responded:
Honestly I have no idea why she'd have wanted me in a picture with her kid, I didn't have a mirror on hand but no way was my face not a blotchy mess.
91aba wrote:
NTA. You have every right to deny a stranger taking photos of you. I wouldn’t even dream of asking a stranger to take a picture with my daughter. You are allowed to feel things and she should’ve explained to her child you are a normal person and not a fictional character. I’m sorry for the loss of your fur baby.
blue_molly wrote:
NTA - no, is a complete sentence. No one is entitled to your time, image or smile. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you big hugs.
P.S. I hope your bf steps up & supports you through this because his initial reaction to what happened in the cafe wasn’t great.
oregonchick wrote:
NTA. You had a right not to be bothered and a polite person would have accepted your reasonable no. Unfortunately, we live in a world where people feel extremely entitled and sometimes they must be reminded that they are not the Main Character in everyone else's lives and it's unacceptable to treat strangers like they're props for their use.
Yes, that was probably embarrassing for the mom, and yes, taking a photo isn't necessarily a big ask in normal circumstances.
But it's still an ask, and people are allowed to say no -- and further, strangers don't owe anyone an explanation (unless legally required). Mom made demands and tried to shame you for not humoring her kid, and she paid the price. She could have avoided the discomfort by being polite, but she made her choice and the consequences are hers to bear. You did nothing wrong.
radical707 wrote:
NTA, people are not entitled to take photos of you or with you! Totally WILD behaviour from that mother. I am sooo sorry about your dog. 💔 I'm sure your response to that woman would've been a bit softer if you weren't grieving today, but hey, now she and her daughter have learned an important lesson - you really never know what people are going through. Sending you positive vibes 🤍
MarioFreak97 wrote:
NTA. You're boyfriend and that lady are. You just went through something traumatic, you lost your fur-child (sorry not trying to make it worse) but you politely said no. You weren't rude and for that mom to act that way and in front of her child no less was terrible.
She is teaching her to be entitled and not understand consent. I don't know if you have talked to your boyfriend since then, but I would explain to him EXACTLY what happened and if he still gets mad, there is something wrong with him. I would put into perspective how upset that made you feel and why.
P.S. I am SO sorry for your loss. I lost one of my babies (cat) last year in December and I still get bothered by it. You can grieve as much as you need, I hope things start to get a bit better soon. You never truly get over something like that, but that is okay.