'AITA for how I handled an accusation of parking in customer parking as a non-customer?'
"AITA for how I handled an accusation of parking in customer parking as a non-customer?"
Today I (31 year old woman) bought a piece of art in for framing to the local framers. I live in a smallish town. I have been a customer of them for years, doing much framing with them.
I paint myself but I also enjoy art especially since the pandemic and like to get pieces framed. I have gotten many items framed with them. I parked in customer parking. I spent quite a bit of money with them that day- around $100. The woman recognised me and gave me a regular customer discount.
It was also not busy at all, with several car spaces open. Following paying I didn’t move my car straight away. I saw on my step counter I needed to get a few more steps in so I walked to the main section of town and grabbed some food before heading back to the car and leaving.
I was backing my car out and a man approached my car as I was backing out. I did not recognise him. He started saying I wasn’t allowed to park there. He was quite hostile. I told him I was a customer, and continued to back out in order to leave. He started trying to get me to stop and try to stop me leaving.
This made me uncomfortable. I told him to get away from me. He was staying “hold on, hold on”. I told him to “get the f away from me”. I exited the premises but could see him in my rear view mirror. I want to be clear there were several parking spaces open. When I got home I called the Framer and told her a hostile man was bothering me outside her store.
She said it was her husband. She said he misinterpreted the situation and thought I was a non customer parked in customer parking. She defended him saying that he wouldn’t have approached me rudely and I escalated the situation too quickly, insinuating her husband was targeted by me because he was a white man.
I told her that her husband had not even asked me if I was a customer but immediately started throwing around accusations. I told her I had told him I was a customer but that still did not seem good enough for him and he was trying to stop me leaving before I swore at hi
I did think it was likely he had profiled me because my car is not very nice but I did not say this. I also said I wanted my money back and my art back. When I said this she seemed upset and wanted me to reconsider. I said I was feeling upset about what happened and would think on it.
I ran into my mum in the driveway and asked her to pick up my art and get my money back. She did this quickly and said the woman seemed flustered and a bit surprised and upset. I think she had thought I would go ahead with them but I was upset she had defended him. AITA?
The comments quickly came rolling in.
Katiew34 wrote:
NTA. If it was a busy parking lot or it was full that day, that’s one thing. It sounds like you went for a short walk. Not a big deal. The second the man tried to prevent you from leaving is when the situation took a turn. You were justified in yelling and swearing. I would’ve done the same.
I also wouldn’t spend money at that business ever again. The wife should’ve apologized and left it at that. But she wanted to defend her husband instead of keeping a customer. She chose her husband, and in turn you chose not to do business with her anymore. Actions have consequences.
OP responded:
That was where I found it alarming. When he seemed to want to stop me. I told him I was a customer and did not feel comfortable engaging further. I told my dad about him trying to stop me leaving and he was like “you cannot stop people leaving. What was he planning to try and do? Citizens arrest you?”
sweetberrysweet wrote:
NTA. It’s one thing to ask politely if you’re a customer, but when a random guy starts blocking your car and getting hostile without even checking, that’s a whole new level of unnecessary. You weren’t just parking—you were trying to escape a parking lot interrogation. If they didn’t want the drama, maybe they should’ve taught their husband how to ask questions like a human being.
Old-Smokey42069 wrote:
That shop owner should have been falling over herself apologizing when you called upset. While I can see from her perspective that maybe she would think her husband wasn’t really in the wrong and that OP over-escalated, she is a fool for trying to defend him to an angry customer who was nearly false-imprisoned in her parking lot.
Especially a loyal repeat customer. The “white man” stuff just brings it even more over the top. Clear NTA. That lady has dogs--t customer service and it’s so funny that she was shocked that insulting and intimidation of a customer cost her loyal business.
saintandvillain wrote:
Why would him being a white man cause you to escalate the situation? Weird.
OP responded:
The wife said something like “I know it can be frustrating when you feel like you are being spoken down to by a straight white man, but that does not give you the right to escalate so quickly. I know he would have approached you respectfully”.
Mrfleas wrote:
NTA. No one wants to engage with a hostile stranger. You don't know why they are hostile and it is scary. What I don't get is what the shopkeeper thought was the most likely outcome when she basically said it was your fault for escalating?
How could she not see you were not going to do business with her because now you are uncomfortable? She will lose your business forever because you will be dreading going back.