'AITA if I take the flight without my husband because he didn't pack his stuff on time?'

"AITAH if I take the flight without my husband?"

I’ve written a post before about how my husband does work at the church and I feel like he prioritizes it to an inappropriate degree. Today, we are supposed to take a flight today to visit my family. He just began packing today despite me telling him to pack earlier.

It’s an 8 day trip. I am finishing packing up the baby’s stuff and mine. I couldn’t pack up the baby’s stuff earlier because he’s extremely spitty and if I washed everything he would have just spit up all over it again and we would be at square one. So I just did a big load of his stuff.

The flight leaves at 7:30. It’s 2PM. He just left to shovel the church. It takes him an hour to travel there and an hour to travel back. And he is still not completely packed. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for months and it feels like he’s purposefully planning everything poorly so we don’t have to go.

To make it clear, I don’t care that he is helping at his church. My first issue is that he is literally leaving everything to the last minute. My second issue is that he’s putting the entire burden of baby care to me AGAIN. I had baby most of the day yesterday, last night, and the majority of the day today. AITAH if I leave for the airport without him if he takes too long to come back?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

whyis_skyblue_007 wrote:

He's doing this on purpose so f--k him. Don't know your circumstances but you might not want to come back in a hurry. You might ask him why the church is more important than his wife & child and what kind of Christian attitude he might or might not have. Then board the plane without him.

yourssweet wrote:

Honestly, I get why you're frustrated. You’ve been juggling everything, and he’s not taking responsibility for his part. If he can’t get his stuff together in time, I think you should just go. You’ve already been patient, and you deserve a break too.

LifeFlower2511 wrote:

Girl, he’s clearly dropping the ball and not taking your needs seriously. If he’s not ready in time, go ahead and go without him. You deserve to enjoy this trip and not be left dealing with everything on your own.

Silly-Register-739 wrote:

Honestly, I think you’re in the right here. You’ve been so patient and are doing all the heavy lifting with the baby. If he can’t get his act together and manage his time, it’s not on you to stay behind because of his poor planning. You deserve to enjoy your trip too.

Kindly-Might1879 wrote:

NTA. I hope you tell him that there’s a big conflict in his prioritizing church service without treating his own wife accordingly—like according to Ephesians 5:25-28.

Safe_Perspective9633 wrote:

If he's not back in time for you to get to the airport two hours early (to get through baggage check and security), leave without him. That's on him. Maybe text him and tell him that you will be leaving at X-time precisely. If he's there and ready, great! If he's not READY to leave, then go without him.

emotioonxroses wrote:

I stopped being the caretaker for my partner after the first time we missed a flight. Told him nope never again. Next two flights he missed and man he bitched. Explained again he’s a damn adult and has choices to make. The third time he missed a 10 day cruise. He’s never been late again. He’s pissed about it but listens to me and gets up and ready and out the door on time. Ohh and NTA.

Fit-Cucumber-3766 wrote:

NTA. he should know better as an adult? He needs to pack his own bags and not have a fall back (you) for not packing them, he’s a grown ass man. he needs to get his priorities right. and your baby is not just yours, it’s HIS baby as well and with that comes responsibilities which he should be fulfilling. girl visit your family w your baby if he takes too long.

13jopbjr wrote:

NTA. Looking at your post history, I would suggest packing up some extra boxes and shipping them off to your parents' house so you can stay there when you get there. Run and don't come back.

Maricarmuss wrote:

NTA. You're not a travel coordinator whose job is to wait for the last-minute packers to get their act together. It’s a plane, not a private car—it won’t wait. If he’s choosing shoveling over shuffling to the airport on time, you have every right to keep your itinerary and your sanity intact.

Plus, managing a baby solo while waiting for someone who might make you miss your flight? That’s above and beyond. Just make sure he knows the plan so he isn't blindsided, and maybe this will teach him to prioritize a bit better next time! Safe travels!

Sea-ad9057 wrote:

NTA. Is he the only person in the entire church who can shovel the drivewa?! Don't forget you still have to get to the airport with a baby, go through security, all of these things are time consuming and annoying solo and you have to do it with a baby in tow. If he misses his flight maybe the church can pay for him to get the next flight. Saviour complex he is willing to sabotage his entire family to make him look good.