'AITA for kicking my friend and her husband out for eating/wasting my food?'
"AITA for kicking my friend and her husband out for eating/wasting my food?"
I (F34) made the mistake of allowing my best friend (Mary F33) , her husband (Karl M27) and two kids to crash at my place after showing up without being invited. She showed up for a visit and later complained that it was too late to drive back home ( 5 hours).
I hate having people over, and she has a history of being a moocher. However, we did have a great time so in the end I was grateful for her visit, and it was raining. I agreed to let her spend the night safely at mu place. I did not go crazy with accommodations because I didn't want her to get too comfortable. So I opened the sofa bed for them and went to sleep.
My boyfriend went into the bathroom near midnight and woke me up looking angry and confused. He said Mary and her husband were having an unauthorized food orgy in our kitchen. I immediately went there and found her by the dinner table, with all our trays sushi laying around, while she was sampling it and handing it to her husband.
The wastebasket was right next to them because he was taking a bite and spitting it out if he didn't like it. My sushi sampler tray was left with just a few pieces and most of my boyfriend’s tray was thrown away by them without even asking my permission to eat it.
They also cut a brand new and store-sealed artisan cake and opened juice cartons straight from the pantry, despite me having left juice in the refrigerator in case they wanted some.
The garbage bin had lots of chewed rice. It looked like someone had chewed and sucked it for flavor tasting and then spit out. I found this especially infuriating as I left those dishes to the back of the fridge and inside two tightly knotted bags for privacy. I served them dinner.
I showed her where the bread and sandwich supplies could be found in case, they needed anything. I don’t understand why she wanted to take more than she was given. I also found a complete box of chocolates, gifted by my boyfriend, emptied out and an entire six pack of Coca-Cola, all gone into the garbage.
Her excuse was her wanting her husband to have a taste of “nice things” because he's not familiar with sushi and she has always talked about the food I like to buy t. I immediately kicked her out. She begged, because it was 12 am and said they would leave very early in the morning.
I went to bed crying in anger. I woke them up at almost 4 am. She started clicking her tongue like a sleepy cartoon character and her husband protested that it was too early. I pulled the sheets from him and had them leave.
As clarification, they both have jobs and shame on me for allowing her to come in because I've had to create boundaries with her multiple times because of showing up unannounced, playing the "I lost my wallet" game" when the check comes at a restaurant and constantly trying to stiff me with bills.
She called me hours later, but I didn’t pick up, so she left a message. She said I spoiled her Xmas because her intent was to come visit her family living nearby but by having to go back home, they couldn't contact family members to ask them to let them in because it was too early. So, she and her husband had a fight and they drove back and now he only wants to spend their 10-day vacation with his own family.
She sent me another message a few hours later. She says that he's still very angry because he had to drive while groggy and that being sleepy causes him to be grouchy all day.
She said he's so mad at her that he moved his stuff to another bedroom. I know when she's lying, and her tears sounded really desperate. She’s begging me to call him and talk to him, but I don't want to and won't do it.
I sent her a cash request for 500 USD to cover the sushi trays, the cake and other foods plus replacements, also for inconveniencing me and for their night over. It sounds pretty but I'm still fuming. She whined and cried but paid for it, then said that because of me, her kids won't have Xmas.
Clarification: I cited for abuse of trust and hospitality when I kicked them out. I wouldn't have minded if they made sandwiches or took from the already opened juice cartons (which were almost full). But I cannot forgive what they did and the food wasting. I already blocked after telling her that we are no longer friends via text.
She sent a friend I hardly know to “talk some sense into me” and whom I told to go f%ck themselves. He says what I did was over the top because not only did I scold, kicked her out and announced the end of our friendship but made her pay me money. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ConvivialKat said:
NTA. They were chewing up your food and spitting it out in the trash? At midnight? In your house? I wouldn't have let them stay until 4AM. I would have bounced them at midnight before they started gnawing on the walls! Jesus. They sound effing feral!
WilsIrish said:
NTA… what the ever-loving hell??? To take out SUSHI and start sampling and throwing it away… I’d have flipped out. You were nicer than I would have been. They’d have been kicked out on the spot.
Remarkable-Put1612 said:
NTA, block her, that’s not a friend that’s a PLAGUE.
Accomplished-Emu-591 said:
NTA. If they both have jobs, her mooching makes no sense. She was able to pay you the $500 so she's not broke. If the kids don't have gifts, it's because she and SO pissed their money away.
FornowWearefine said:
NTA. She destroyed your Xmas as you had plans for the items they stole and trashed. You had every right to kick them out and not even they believe that they were in the right.
People like that believe they can do what they want because no one will stop them or hold them accountable.
You have made the accountable, it is a new feeling for them, they are now trying the but it was honestly nothing you must forgive us. Do Not Let Them In Your Home ever again.
SmarthaSmewart said:
NTA but they should have left at midnight. If she was in town to visit family, why wasn't she cleaning out thier fridges at midnight? These people sound horrible. Block them, guilt free and don't look back.