'AITA for kicking my sister out of my house for not following my house rules?' UPDATED 4X

Free rent is a luxury that should never be taken for granted, and yet, many times the people who benefit the most express the least gratitude.

"AITA for kicking out my sister out of my house for not complying to my house rules?"

I (26F) live in a two bedroom apartment and I was living alone for the most part until last month when my younger sister (23F) started living with me after my parents kicked her out due to her not contributing to the house. She had nowhere else to go and she pretty much begged me to let her stay with me. I said that if she wants to live with me, she needs to follow my house rules.

She is in her last year of university so I said that she didn’t need to contribute financially but had to contribute to household chores. Something that she didn’t do when living with my parents. I am a clean person and I like my house to be neat and tidy. At first, she complied. She kept the kitchen clean, did her assigned chores, and would always clean up after herself.

Then recently around two weeks ago, she started slacking. She wouldn’t do the dishes on her day, trashed the guest bathroom, messed up the living room by leaving her clothes everywhere, and would not put things away. For example, she made a sandwich and she didn’t put away the bread, the vegetables or the condiments! It was infuriating. I work 5 days a week and I’m exhausted.

I spoke to my sister and told her she needs to help me out by keeping my home clean. She just went “okay!” My sister did start cleaning but it was only after I start nagging and being ‘annoying’. I sat her down and warned her that I will be kicking her out if she starts slacking and turning my apartment into a pigsty. I said this is my house and she needs to follow my rules if she wants to continue living with me.

Fast forward to two days ago, I invited my friends over and I told my sister to clean the guest bathroom and the kitchen, and just tidy up the living room because my friends were coming over and I was at work. So I wanted the house to be clean when I got home and I would just prepare snacks. Well, my sister didn’t do any of that!

When I came home, the house looked extremely messy and it was not like that before I left. Dishes in the sink, food on the countertop, blankets in the living room, even the guest bathroom was messy. I lost it. I screamed at my sister and told her to pack her s#$t and get the f#$k out of my home. She cried and begged me to give her another chance and I said no.

She had one f#$king task and she didn’t do one thing! We argued some more until she tearfully agreed to leave. She packed her bags and left. I quickly cleaned my house and had my friends over like normal. My parents are on my side but my relatives are giving me grief for kicking my sister out and they called me evil and a control freak AH.

My sister is staying with my aunt as my parents refuse to let her stay with them.

Am I the AH?

Shortly after posting, OP shared two updates.

Edit: Another issue is my sister would hog the washer and dryer. I do laundry once a week or sometimes twice a week. She would be so lazy to do her laundry that she would wait until her laundry basket is extremely full and she would take forever to finish.

This would cause me to sometimes miss my day to do laundry as she would take an entire f#$king week to do her laundry and I did speak to her about this and told her to stop. Of course she didn’t listen so I locked the laundry closet by purchasing a lock with some sort of rope to prevent her from opening and it worked. She had no choice but to go elsewhere to do laundry.

I’ve also been super pushy with her regarding the kitchen mainly because my kitchen is open space and it’s the first thing that I see when I come home. So seeing the kitchen messy is quite an eyesore for me and makes me anxious.

Edit 2: As for the dishes, I told my sister I didn’t care how she did them. Either hand washing or using a dishwasher. I don’t care! I want them clean and out of sight! So I did give her some options on how she did the dishes.

The internet did not hold back their thoughts on the matter.

Comfortable-One8520 wrote:

Absolutely NTA and I'll give it a couple of weeks till sis gets kicked out by your aunt. She can then tour round all the other relatives giving you grief until she pisses them off with her manky habits.

Njopnjopnjop wrote:

Please update when your aunt calls you or your parents, completely pikachu-faced about how her niece has trashed her home and what should she say to make niece clean her own messes. NTA.

OP responded:

Will do!

ardent-gleaner wrote:

NTA you gave her a ton of leeway and made it really clear what she needed to improve on and she still f#$ked it up. Incompatible standards of cleanliness is one of those things that will trash relationships and living situations, you're right to be serious about that stuff.

Trick_Parsley_3077 wrote:

Your sister is old enough to abide by rules, but young enough to learn from her mistakes! Let’s see how long it will take for Aunty to call your parents and complain about the very things you all have kicked her out for??? I am betting within the next 3 months! NTA.

Pure-Philosopher175 wrote:

NTA. Your sister has proven herself to be a lazy, inconsiderate leech. She should have been bending over backwards to help out after you took her in. I give it a week before your aunt is calling you or your parents complaining that your sister has trashed her house too.

Later that day, OP shared another update.

My mom called me about 20 minutes ago telling me that she wants us all to meet sometime this week to have a talk with my sister about her not following house rules and perhaps see why she acts so defiant when it comes to following them. My aunt also called me explaining that she can’t have my sister stay with her for long because there’s just no room.

My aunt has 3 kids and there isn’t room for my sister so she will also be coming over this week so we can all have a chat and figure out a solution together as a family. I have no intentions on letting my sister stay with me again and neither does my parents. My aunt is letting her stay with her in the meantime.

Three weeks later, OP shared another major update.

Hello everyone. I thought I might make an update regarding the post I made about kicking my sister out of my house. First, I like to thank everyone who commented and assured me that I was not doing anything wrong by kicking my sister out.

Here’s the update: the first thing I did, despite everyone’s warnings, I went over to my parents house to talk with my aunt and my sister to come up with a solution as my aunt did say my sister couldn’t stay long term as there isn’t any room. We talked and surprisingly my sister followed my aunt's house rules.

She cleaned up after herself and she even bought groceries when my aunt said she didn’t need to do that. My sister apologized to me for giving me a hard time and not keeping my apartment clean when I’m gone at work. She admitted she was just too lazy and didn’t think I’d be that angry to the point where I’d kick her out.

I accepted her apology and that’s when my aunt asked my parents if they’d be comfortable letting her move back in with them as my sister is no longer welcome to stay with me. My parents said they did some thinking and they are willing to let her stay under one condition: she needs to contribute and not just with household chores.

She needs to start paying rent and after she gets a job, she needs to start looking for places of her own. My sister has a part time job at the university so she agreed to my parents conditions. That was a couple weeks ago. Now, I was over at my parents house an hour ago for lunch and my sister had improved! She doesn’t leave her clothes in the living room and cleans up after herself.

I asked my parents about that and they said another part of the condition is if she made a mess or didn’t clean up after herself, she will have to pay a fine (which is $5). Since my sister wasn’t willing to spend so much money knowing she would be charged with fines if she didn’t help keep the house clean, that was when she started being a bit more responsible.

I guess the only way to get her to clean is if you charge her with a fine lol. That’s the update. I’m just relieved that there was no drama or problems. Now, one thing I do need to mention is that my sister wasn’t really happy at first about having to pay rent or financially contribute, but she agreed nonetheless and that’s what matters.

The internet was properly invested in the update.

matchamagpie wrote:

OP's sister ruined a sweet living situation by acting entitled, lazy, and like an utter trash goblin to people who loved her. Funny how people can change when their behavior starts hurting their wallet.

ranchspidey wrote:

I lived with my aunt for maybe a year and all I had to do was help keep the house clean. I’m a room dweller so I barely ‘dirtied’ the house, but I still got up every Saturday to help her clean everything. She didn’t make me pay anything at all and fed me alongside her family.

I moved out to be closer to work but it was a sweet f#$king deal. Hopefully this sister keeps her s#$t together because she took it for granted before and won’t get any second chances.

greymoria wrote:

Siblings counting on their big sister to just do all the stuff, that's far too common.

Great that the fines seems to work, there's hope yet for the slob!