'AITA for leaving a family vacation early because my brother's kids kept waking me up at 5AM?'
"AITA for leaving a family vacation early because my brother's kids kept waking me up at 5AM?"
My family (parents, siblings, their spouses, and kids) planned a big week-long vacation at a lake house. I (23M) was excited because I hadn’t taken time off in a while, and I was looking forward to relaxing. However, my brother and his wife brought their two kids and from the first morning, they were up at 5 AM, running around, yelling, and crying.
The walls were thin, and no matter how late I stayed up, I kept getting woken up. I asked my brother and SIL if they could try to keep them quieter in the mornings, but they just said, “That’s how kids are.” By the fourth day, I was sleep-deprived and miserable, so I packed my bags and left early.
Now, my family is calling me dramatic. My mom said I ruined the trip by leaving and that I should have been more understanding. My brother told me I should just get used to it because “this is what family vacations are like.” I told them I didn’t sign up to be woken up at dawn every day and that I just wanted to enjoy my vacation. Now I’m wondering, AITA for prioritizing my sleep over family time?
The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.
Oylaura wrote:
NTA. They're used to it, because it grew in their family. The kids were babies, then started walking, and slowly involved into the hellions they have become.
You, on the other hand, dove into the deep end of the pool. Shock is inevitable.
My brother lives in a beautiful house that has no window coverings and no floor coverings. The acoustics are amazing. Their three children were screamers. Visits could be quite uncomfortable when the kids were little. There were tantrums, meltdowns, all sorts of screaming and yelling. Nobody was fighting per se, but it was kids being kids. My parents and I really struggled.
When I was talking about it with my brother, he said that that's just how it is. I told him what I just wrote above, that he's used to it because it just progressed for him, but we are not used to it. We live in child,-free houses, very quiet lives. The one Christmas that stands out in my memory, I drove by myself because I had to work on the 26th. The children each got a musical instrument, a drum kit, a keyboard, and a guitar amp.
I was out at the house before noon. Thankfully, they've grown up, as will your nibblings. This will not last forever, but if you really want to enjoy these family vacations until then, get your own Airbnb or somebody close by. Everyone will probably be happier for it. Also, not for nothing, but when the kids get to be teenagers, the adults will be bitching because the kids won't get out of bed.
OP responded:
That makes a lot of sense. They’ve adjusted to the chaos over time, but for me, it was just overwhelming. Your story about the instruments sounds like a nightmare, I don’t think I would’ve lasted an hour! Getting my own Airbnb next time might be the way to go.
No-Chicken3745 wrote:
NTA, that’s absolutely not “just how kids are” brother is inconsiderate.
OP responded:
That hurts me, He acted like there is nothing he can do. I can understand kids will wake up now and then in the night, Keeping them occupied is at least their parents can do.
Alternative-Copy7027 wrote:
When I had littles on vacation with others, I would get up with them and keep them occupied with quiet things. Reading, whispering, TV with the sound really low, etc.
Sure, they would make some noise, but I would give them undivided attention and really really try to keep them quiet.
Then I would go for a nap when the relatives woke up so someone could watch the little ones. Running? YELLING? Hell no. They need to learn how to be mindful of others, and they need to learn that from age 1 or something. They might not manage at age 1 but the effort must be there. Your brother is terribly rude.
Haunting_Fly2237 wrote:
Not all children behave like this, we're your brother and SIL putting then to bed ridiculously early so they didn't have to deal with them in the evening?
OP responded:
It's around 10 I think. But both of the parents are the last one at night. So that may be their way of getting some time for themselves.
Nice_Ebb5314 wrote:
NTA but I would definitely would have given those kids candy and soda before bed to mess with your brother. Some times you have to fight fire with lava.
OP responded:
Fair point ☝️. I completely missed that perspective.
SharonToo wrote:
NTA. You are on vacation too which means not having to wake up early to go to work. Vacation is about relaxing away from the daily grind. Being forced to live on a child’s schedule is not relaxing. They’re not sharing the accommodations with you.
Sharing means compromising. Instead they want to impose their entire vacation on you with the children not respecting anyone else. Next time ask to book a vacation at a resort where you can have your own room away from them.
Roux_Harbor wrote:
NTA. What happened to teaching kids that you have to be mindful of other people sleeping?? When I was little I was allowed to get up early and watch cartoons, but I wasn't to wake my mom that early. Every family I've ever been around with small kids teach their kids this young. This whole thinking it's okay for their kids to be bulls in a chinashop nonsense is so incredibly rude.
OP responded:
Yeah, The whole, "Kids do what they want "mindset is just inconsiderate.