'AITA for leaving my family’s New Year’s party because I refused sleeping arrangements?'

"AITA for leaving my family’s New Year’s party bc I refused sleeping arrangements?"

I 16F have been with my boyfriend 17 for 2 years. We have a 4-month-old baby together and I live with his family because my family wasn’t supportive. My mom surprisingly invited us to her new years gathering and wanted us all to spend the night. My boyfriend and I agreed, without knowing the sleeping arrangements.

My oldest sister had moved out of state, and her bedroom was now a guest room so I assumed that’s where my boyfriend and I would be staying, but then my mom informed me that my boyfriend would have the guest room and I would be sleeping in my old room that I shared with my younger sister.

I told her I should be able to share a room with my boyfriend we have a kid together and I need help with the baby during the night. She said I was still a child and wouldn’t be sharing a bed with a man under her roof. I told her my baby and I weren’t sharing a bunk bed with my 14-year-old sister, there was no way that was happening, and that I needed my bf help during the night.

She still refused so I said we wouldn’t be staying the night tonight, but we’d stay for the party. My mom got upset which started an argument and she basically said I couldn’t suck it up for one night, proves I’m too immature to be a mother. We ended up leaving. My mom left me abunch of angry text, and my dad texted me asking me to please apologize to my mom. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

MasterGas9570 wrote:

NTA - wanting the baby daddy help during the night is valid reason. if she was super concerned about sex under her roof then she can say the door has to be left cracked open, but really, she is at least a year too late to be that concerned. if you didn't say anything inappropriate or rude during the fight then I don't see a need to apologize.

OP responded:

I’m suppose to apologize for not sucking up and staying.

Background-Interview wrote:

NTA. That “no sharing a bed” ship has sailed and she needs to wrap her head around that.

Even if you are “too immature to be a mother”, well. That doesn’t really change the fact that you ARE one.

Your sister doesn’t deserve a waking baby all night.

Sharing a bed with a child increases the likelihood of SIDS as well as other injury, like asphyxiation and crushing. Your mom doesn’t seem too smart to be a mom.

No_Hippo_1472 wrote:

NTA. Oh honey…this is a tough one. I’m sorry your parents aren’t supportive. Them asking you to share a bunk bed with a baby is the really ridiculous part, not to mention taking away a source of help that you and baby need. I’m glad your boyfriend is supportive and sounds like is helping with the baby.

You did the right thing by leaving and not caving into that demand. This is simply where you are in life, and if your mom can’t accept that, it’s her problem to work through and solve. I wish all three of you the best!

NotthisAgain21 wrote:

Not a family of heavy thinkers.

But no, NTA, and don't apologize. Nobody owes anybody an apology. Your mom has rules about the sleeping arrangements in her house and you're free to decline and go home.

bcmtmom wrote:

NTA. Her house, her rules. You didn't want to follow those rules and left. That's the mature thing to do. You don't live there. There is no reason to stay there. She can be mad. It is not your job to pacify her or anyone else.

She's a bigger baby than your infant. If you are going to apologize, say you are sorry that she can not respect your choices and say you're sorry that due to her words and behavior, you can not pretend to respect her anymore.

orangencinnamon wrote:

First, you are going to get a lot of judgement. Just ignore it. Secondly, NTA I feel that you have a right to do what's right for you and your baby and boyfriend. If you don't like someone's rule in their space you leave. It seems like your mom is mad at you and was going to find a way to let you know at every turn. I would stay away from her and embrace your in laws.

chaingun_samurai wrote:

Considering your bf isn't a man yet since he's under 18, you wouldn't be breaking her rules... but besides that, you have a valid reason for the father of your child to be in the room with you.

My petty a-s would be waking up mom to help, since she's adamant about the sleeping arrangements. This sounds more like a control game than anything else, and you're not obligated to play these games with her. NTA.

South_Front_4589 wrote:

NTA. What does she think will happen if you share a bed, that you'll get pregnant? Your ages do raise some eyebrows, but regardless of that you're right, you and your family should be sharing a room. If she's not happy with that and doesn't accept the reality of the situation then she's just not ready to be a grandmother.

Shoddy_Detail_976 wrote:

NTA...your mom is trying to force control and manipulation on you. If you were some virgin with a new bf, it'd make sense. But after 2 years and having a baby with the dude...sharing a bed presents NO lowering of morals. And the baby's daddy should ALWAYS (unless they're ab-sive or something) have access to their child and support the mother. Forcing one parent away from the newborn is stupid AF.

Also...that baby is going to wake up anyone else in that room. Forcing another family member to sleep in that room is stupid also.

Do not let them enforce their stupid morals on you.