'AITA for leaving my grandson's Halloween candy in my car until his other grandmother left?'
"AITA for leaving my grandson's Halloween candy in my car until his other grandmother left?"
I went trick-or-treating tonight with my daughter, (4) grandson, and (8 mo) granddaughter. My grandson's father, paternal grandmother, and her boyfriend also went. I personally think they are trashy and lack couth.
I could list many examples and will if asked. But one thing that really bugs me is her blatant greed. On multiple occasions, she told my grandson that she wanted his candy. For instance, "Are you going to give Gammaw some of your candy to take home?"
"You're going to share that with Gammaw right? - to my grandson, while he's trick-or-treating. In the car on the way home, she told my daughter she needs to prepare her a bag of candy to take home twice. Then back at my house, she'd told my grandson to share his candy with her and let her pick out a bagful to take home because "he didn't need it all anyway."
Not to mention that while trick-or-treating, her boyfriend dressed up in a lame costume (He walked around with a pot on his head, ie a pothead - he's in his 50s) and she would bring back handfuls of candy from houses that had a candy bucket outside to give to him. So, I locked the candy in my car until she went home. AITA?
The commenters had a lot to say in response.
pandaandturtle wrote:
NTA. Not gonna lie, it was a bit of a petty thing to do, but I understand why you did it. I could understand getting a piece or two, but it’s weird to expect him (or his mom) to give his grandma a whole bag of treats to take home. He’s 4, let him have his candy.
OP responded:
I agree. It was petty. But this woman angered me. She bothered my grandson so much about his candy while we were out that he came to me and asked me to hold his trick-or-treat bucket because he "didn't want his Gammaw to take it." I mean is she a toddler? Buy your own candy. And, yes - she was eating his candy the entire time we were walking the neighborhood.
Aware_Welcome_8866 wrote:
NTA. My daughter always gave her grandma any Butterfingers bars because they were her favorite. I think a lot kids share a piece or 2 with family members, but no, I have never seen kids make up bags of candy for the adults.
OP responded:
I think sharing with family is normal, but quite a strange thing to harass a 4-year-old about his Halloween candy all night long. SMH.
JustALizzyLife wrote:
Honestly, to me, the trashiest part was her taking multiple fistfuls of candy from bowls that were left out. Bad enough when the kids do it, but a grown ass adult? This is why I refuse to leave out a bucket. NTA Your grandson asked you to hold his candy and protect it. That's what you did. No other reasoning needed.
OP responded:
It was really hard to watch and not to comment. She was acting so childish. It was very hard not to chastise her.
SP1ffm1ff wrote:
Ugh this reminds me of my JNMIL. Tried to take home all the leftover cookies from my child first birthday - cookies that my friend had specially decorated and that no one else in my household had even had a chance to try yet. So gross and selfish.
OP responded:
Last year for his third birthday, I threw him a very elaborate Mickey Mouse Clubhouse birthday party. I made chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate covered, strawberries, candied apples. I put together, thank you treats for the kids that had little red gumballs inside of a Mickey Mouse shaped head.
I had a to go popcorn station like they have in Disney World where you can pick your popcorn put on your own topping, including crushed chocolate pieces, m&m's, pretzels, etc. this woman loaded up so many plates to take home to every person staying in her house without even asking if it was OK. I was pissed.
Ok_Homework_7621 wrote:
NTA.
It's sad your daughter isn't standing up for her son.
OP responded:
I tell her ALL the time that she needs to address the behavior but my daughter HATES conflict. She thanked me for not bringing it in the house so that he would get to go through it and see what he was given without being harassed by her.
Proud-Cat-Mom_2021 wrote:
NTA I'm sorry, but something is definitely wrong with grandma. No normal adult would do that to a kid, especially a very young kid. Grandma has got some serious problems. IMO, you were 100% justified and showed good judgment. I'm with you.
I wouldn't let grandma anywhere near my kid's piggy bank either! (If kids even have them anymore. But, you get the idea) With that mentality, who knows what she'll feel free to help herself to next if given the chance.
TinaLoco wrote:
NTA. This is odd behavior on her part, especially considering she could go out today and load up on clearance Halloween candy. It doesn’t seem like the actual candy is her issue. It’s about displaying some weird type of control over her grandson.
BarTony670 wrote:
How is your grandson’s father? It might be time to put some distance between you and your daughters inlaws or at least her sons paternal side of the family. They can gave two parties. You do not need to host the paternal side.