'AITA for letting my fiance sit in the car during dinner because she was complaining about her hair?'

"AITAH for letting my fiance sit in the car for 2 hrs while I dinner because she was complaining about her hair?"

My friend invited me (M 40) and my fiance (F 36)out for dinner along with another couple. So I asked my finance and she said yes we should go. My friend made the reservation at a restaurant closer to us so we would not have to drive too far, even though it ended up being a much further drive for him and the other couple.

The day of the dinner, she wasn’t feeling great so I told her we didn’t have to go and I could cancel, but she insisted we go, so I did not cancel.

So it came time to leave for dinner and my finance was struggling with her hair and asked if she could wear a hat (I need to clarify the point about her “asking” as several comments have been asked about this particular point. She doesn’t have to ask me permission for anything.

She is her own person and I totally respect her choices). Normally I am completely against wearing hats inside a restaurant because I was raised to believe that hats at the dinner table are disrespectful, but this place was kind of causal and I really didn’t want to deal with waiting around an extra hour for her to do her hair and make us late, so I said yes to help move things along.

We drive to the restaurant, arrive just in time and walk up to the door and see the sign that reads: “no hats allowed in the dining room”. I kind of laugh to myself and think it’s no big deal and we head back to the car so she can fix her hair.

We get in the car and she starts having a meltdown saying her hair looks like crap and she needs to fix it (update because specific question asked a lot - she has long, curly brown hair - not frizzy but curls can be tough to control at times). Her hair really looked just fine, but I stayed quiet at this point because I’m beyond frustrated that she’s actually like a child.

After 5 minutes of her trying to fix her hair, she is getting really upset with me. Meanwhile, we’re late and my friend has already seen us in the parking lot. I tell her that at this point I have to go inside and she says fine just go and she will stay in the car. I go in, explain that she is “not feeling well” but I tell them she may join us shortly. So we go on to order drinks.

She never shows up so I order her a bottle of water and bring it to her to make sure she’s okay. She seems fine so I ask her what she wants to do. She doesn’t really respond so I say ok I’m going back in to order dinner. I ask her if she wants me to bring her anything and she says no. Several drinks and a really good dinner later, about an hour and a half has passed.

I tell my friends I have to go even though I really didn’t any to at this point because I was really upset my fiance had completely let me down because she was worried about her hair. I get back to the car and can see that she is enraged and she says that she is humiliated that I would just leave her there. She also can’t believe that I didn’t help her with her hair and tell her it looked great.

At this point, I tell her she is acting like a child and needs to grow up. I proceed to explain that she is the one at fault and she had the choice to go in to the restaurant, or just go home and I would have taken an uber. Several days later, and she is still upset with me. I think she should get over it. Help me out here. Should I tell her she was right or hold my ground?

The internet had a lot of questions about the situation.

Fast-Bag-36842 wrote:

NTA. She basically said screw everyone’s plans because her hair wasn’t perfect. She’s either extremely vain, or extremely insecure (or some combination of the two). Either way she’s immature and selfish.

She could have called an Uber home. I’m guessing she sat in the car just so she could play victim. You went above and beyond by catering to her immaturity and bringing her water / checking in. She turned what could have been a nice dinner out into an argument because of HAIR.

Own_Lack_4526 wrote:

NTA. What a silly reason for staying in the car. You take off the hat, fluff up your hair, go in and if you feel the need to mention it, apologize for your hair looking a mess and make a joke and then you just carry on with the evening. She was behaving childishly.

Big_Flamingo4061 wrote:

Info: Only because I have a hard time imagining anyone in their 30s acting like this, she doesn't have any medical conditions that are causing her hair to thin or fall out, correct? This is just run of the mill "my hair doesn't look nice" stuff?

OP responded:

Great question and definitely valid but no medical conditions and she has a full healthy head of hair.

ProfPlumDidIt wrote:

NTA.

She was given multiple chances and multiple options yet she chose to sit in the car and sulk like a bratty child and then get mad at you for the choices she made.

Even at the point she opted to not go in she could have chosen to Uber home or even take the car and come back for you later or asked you to Uber home. This grown-a--ed woman (based on age, not maturity level) literally chose to act like the most entitled, immature, bratty baby in existence. Is this a one off or is she this unpleasant often?