'AITA for not giving a 30+ year friend's debut novel a five star review?'
"AITA for not giving a 30+ year friend's debut novel a five star review?"
A beloved friend of 30+ years published a book. It's on a "real" press, and has received glowing jacket blurbs from a number of big-name authors. I write a lot of book reviews and have hundreds of followers. I write detailed, honest reviews.
I gave the novel a 4-star ranking, a detailed and praise-laden review, with no negative commentary, nor any caveats on why I withheld the fifth star.
The book is good, ambitious in scope, and a serious accomplishment. But I reserve five-star rankings for superb, nearly flawless, "I would read it again tomorrow!" literature.
I anticipated that even that level of couched, or implied "critique" would likely draw fire, so I opted to not qualify the 4 stars in any way. It was a 100% positive review that I thought would entice readers because of its detail and specificity.
The friend contacted me asking "Did you mean to give a 4-star ranking on Amazon? If you did, just take it down!" They followed by issuing a second demand, "And take it down on Goodreads, too!"
Before I could reply or take action, the author's partner wrote into the same group chat, "As you know, we are pouring our hearts, souls and finances into marketing this book
. Initial ratings are incredibly important and anything less than five stars is unhelpful. Very unhelpful. We will get our share of lesser ratings, but we don’t expect them from a friend who understands their impact."
I spent an afternoon thinking how to respond: Change the ranking to 5, and be a "liar" for a good friend? I mean, not a lot of skin off my nose, but I honestly had not expected a demand for an "expected" 5 star review.
Or, should I honor the initial request by the author, and simply take down the review? I literally read the request as being that: If you can't give five stars, take it down. (I read a lot of things literally.)
I opted to honor the request to take the review down. I replied, and I quote: "If you feel that a 100% positive, detailed, four star review is detrimental to your sales, I will honor your request to remove the review for now. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you. Or your sales."
This did not go over well. I was accused of stabbing them in the back, and berated for daring to issue anything less than 5 stars, when an author had blurbed "This is destined to be a classic." How could I possibly disagree? I didn't disagree. But, I note that the author did not give a star-rating with his blurb.
Without diverting into a completely different debate on the ASD "spectrum," I have been known to have a hard time understanding unwritten social rules, or know "common sense" in matters like these. I am truly bereft thinking that this issue could torpedo an incredible, long-lasting friendship.
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
jennnjennjen said:
As a book reviewer, YTA, in my opinion, because Goodreads and Amazon are both platforms where the number rating matters more than the content of the review. For context, I also write book reviews on various platforms.
On Amazon or Goodreads, if a good friend wrote a book and I couldn’t justify a 5-star rating, I would probably just not rate it.
This is because most people on those platforms just look at the aggregate number and never read the vast majority of the reviews, even the ones who do read some of them are only going to read a couple at most. Even if you have followers that might read your review itself, many more people than that won’t.
I get wanting to provide your input which is why you started reviewing books to begin with — but I’d say supporting a friend is more important in this situation than your one specific review.
And yes they are right that anything less than 5-star is generally not what you want on those two platforms where numbers really matter. I say this as someone who does not easily hand out 5s but I can understand a friend expecting either nothing or a 5.
If this was a personal blog or somewhere else and I didn’t feel like I could give it a 5, I’d probably not rate it but write what I did like about it and explain who might be a good reader for the book — though I’d open by saying that I’m very biased since I love this person as a friend etc.
StevieB85 said:
You reserve 5 star reviews for only superb works on Amazon? You go on and on about your followers, etc. But this is an Amazon review. Yes, one 4 star review can tank the Amazon algorithm. It sucks, but that's Amazon.
No one is reading those types of reviews for deep insight. Leave that for your blog/website/YouTube/tiktok review with your followers.
Anywhere else, where an algorithm is deciding what to push, what comes up first in results, etc, unless there is something you can articulate as wrong, give it a 5 star review. Then it will get pushed to other people to enjoy. Yta.
BismuthPyramide said:
YTA. It’s something that really matters to your friend, then why not give her the extra star? It’s not that you thought the book was atrocious. I realize this sort of thing is difficult for people on the spectrum, but you asked if you are TA, and being inconsiderate of your friend when you could have easily not given a review or leave a 5 star one makes you an AH, sorry.
Honeycrispcombe said:
NTA, because what you write on a review also reflects on you (and if you review a lot, versus doing it as a one-time thing just because you were asked, yeah you want to keep your integrity.)
But in the future, refuse to review things written by friends. Just say it's a serious hobby and you don't like to mix friendship and reviewing, you just want to enjoy celebrating their accomplishments.
Ok_Reputation_3612 said:
Author here. I've got mixed feelings on this one. I give out hundreds of advanced review copies and while negative reviews can sting, they're to be expected. It comes with the territory. Every author gets them.
However, my ARCs go out to strangers/general readers. I never ask any friends or family to review my books. #1) Because I don't expect all my friends and family to be fans of my genre and because I don't want to pressure them, and #2) Because if you post a review to Amazon and Amazon discovers you have a personal connection to the author, they might take it down anyway.
That said, I've had friends post five star reviews for my books without me asking. And as a FRIEND, I've also had other writer friends ask me to post reviews of their books and I've done it as requested, under my personal account that isn't linked to my author/business account or pen name.
I'd never dream of leaving less than a five star review for a friend, especially for their debut novel. It really can drag down an average when just getting started and there are few reviews to begin with, and I put my friendship with them above my pride.
I also beta read for friends and give them honest feedback as to how I feel a story can improve, but any criticism is given to them behind the scenes and they take it in stride. That five star review, on the other hand, is a show of public support for a friend who's just done something huge and likely outside their comfort zone.
Bottom line, while there is nothing wrong with posting honest reviews, I'm still going against the grain with a light YTA for putting pride above friendship. Though I might also say ESH because I've also never been the type to pressure any friends into reviewing any of my books. If they do so, it's of their own free will.