'AITA for not letting my sister’s 'miracle baby' sleep in my bedroom at Christmas?'
"AITA for not letting my sister’s 'miracle baby' sleep in my bedroom at Christmas?"
So, my (25F) sister (32F) struggled with infertility for years and finally had a baby a few months ago. My whole family has been treating my nephew like he’s royalty. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid, but it’s getting out of hand.
My parents planned this huge Christmas gathering at their house. My sister insisted she and her husband needed the guest room with the king-size bed because of the baby. Fine. Then she asked if the baby could nap in my old bedroom (which I still stay in when I visit) because it’s the quietest room upstairs. I said okay at first because it’s just a nap, right?
Well, Christmas Eve rolls around, and my sister announces at dinner that the baby will be sleeping in my room overnight because it’s “so cozy and familiar” after the nap. I ask where I’m supposed to sleep then, and my mom says I can crash on the couch.
I argued that my sister could keep the baby in the guest room with her, but she claims they won’t sleep well that way. I put my foot down and said no. It’s my room, I was promised it, and I’m not sleeping on the couch just because my sister wants to kick me out for the baby. My sister got upset, started crying, and called me selfish.
My mom took her side and told me to “be more understanding” because of how long she waited for the baby. The night ended awkwardly, and I stayed firm. The baby slept in the guest room with my sister and BIL. They were annoyed the next morning, complaining about how little sleep they got, and my parents are now acting like I ruined Christmas by being “childish.”
I feel awful because I know how much she struggled to have this baby, but does that mean I have to give up everything whenever she asks?
So, AITA here?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
HelenGonne wrote:
Wait, what? They just wanted to abandon the kid for the night? Because that's what they're saying. This is REALLY freaking weird. I initially thought they were trying to to assign you as caregiver, which means the baby would at least have someone to look after them, but they actually just want to leave the baby unattended?
OP responded:
Right?! That’s what threw me off too. At first, I thought they wanted me to help out or something, but no, they just wanted to leave the baby alone in my room all night while they slept in the guest room. I don’t understand how that was supposed to work or why they thought it was a good idea. It honestly felt more about their own comfort than the baby’s needs.
1000thatbeyotch wrote:
Just because she struggled to have the baby doesn’t mean that the whole baby should be a struggle. What did she expect? Babies are unpredictable little creatures. NTA for standing firm. She wanted the guest room with the king size bed because there was more room for them and the baby. She got exactly what she asked for.
Impossible_Disk_43 wrote:
You're supposed to share a room with a newborn, until they're about six months old. Don't ask me exactly why, I think it's in the event the baby gets ill or too hot or too cold, but you're just meant to be there in case the tiny human needs urgent assistance.
And yeah, the sleep thing is shocking but that's what you sign up for. Babies don't come out with very good schedules. And the baby doesn't need a bedroom to himself because he's "familiar." At two months old, the only thing he's really familiar with are his parents. NTA.
treehuggerfroglover wrote:
NTA
• Her struggling with infertility is completely irrelevant now. The baby is here. He’s not extra fragile or extra special because it took her a long time to get pregnant.
He’s a normal baby like all other babies, and she’s now a normal mom like all other moms. “Infertility” stops meaning shit once you have the baby
• They insisted they needed the biggest room because of the baby. Then they want to sleep in the big room but put the baby in your room.
So why did they need the big room if they never planned on keeping the baby in there?
• They wanted to be parents. In fact they tried really hard. Being new parents means losing sleep. It’s just a fact of life.
If they aren’t capable of sleeping in the same room as their baby and then waking up and not being b--chy and pissy, then they should have stayed home.
• Babies should not sleep alone unattended. Especially not “in the quietest room of the house”. If the baby can’t hear you, you definitely can’t hear him.
For someone who tried so hard to get pregnant it seems like she knows very little about raising a child.
• This is not your baby and not your problem. Whatever issue they may have with the sleeping arrangement is for them to solve, with the help of the hosts.
You didn’t decide to get pregnant, so you’re not the one who should be making sacrifices. She wanted him, now he’s here, and she damn well better be ready to change her entire life around for him. Whatever happens now is setting the precedent for the rest of your relationship with her and her kids. Do not back down on this.
Constant_increase17 wrote:
NTA. Baby is in a pack and play or something then? Seems like a power move to take your spot and she might not even be aware that is how she is behaving to be honest, so I’m not necessarily assuming ill intent, but her thought process is crazy to kick you out of a room for her newborn that should be in a pack and play in her room.
She probably just wants a break from having the baby in her room, but oh well, this is being a parent. She could put the pack and play literally anywhere in the house, she can just move it out of her room to the hallway even if she doesn’t want it in her room, but there is no reason to take a room with a bed.
Big_Owl1220 wrote:
NTA- They wanted the baby, and according to them, they really, really wanted him. So, poor sleep comes w the territory w a new baby. The audacity of them to complain about shit, when it comes to that baby!