'AITA for not waking up my roommate on the day of his final med school exam?'
"AITA for not waking up my roommate on the day of his final med school exam?"
I (23M) and my roommate Justin (23M) are med students. We've been living together as roommates for two years, and we live in a hostel. Last week were our final year exams, and it was absolute hell.
We were surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep daily, fueled by coffee and energy drinks (I know it’s not healthy but there’s no other way to pass lol). On the last day of exams, Justin was unusually exhausted. Around 1 am, he decided to sleep and told me to wake him up at 3 am. I agreed.
However, by 2:30 am, I was dead. My brain was shutting down, my notes were getting blurry and I knew if I stayed up any longer, I'd pass out. I decided to wake Justin up early. I woke Justin up at 2:30 am and told him the time and suggested he set an alarm so he wouldn't oversleep. Justin sat upright, rubbed his eyes, and nodded and said ‘alright’.
I was like ‘don’t forget to set the alarm’ and then almost instantly fell asleep.
We both woke up at 8 AM. (I had set my alarm for 6 but I kept hitting snooze). Justin freaked out, accusing me of not waking him up as promised.
I reminded him that I did wake him up at 2:30 AM and suggested he set an alarm. Justin said that he was too sleepy to comprehend what’s happening and insisted that I should have stayed awake to wake him at 3 AM or at least made sure he was fully awake before sleeping. Justin's exam didn't go well, and now he's blaming me. I understand his frustration, but I think he's being unfair. AITA?
Commenters had a lot to say in response.
feetflatontheground wrote:
NTA. You're just a convenient scapegoat. If he couldn't understand to set an alarm, then he wouldn't have taken in much of the material he was studying.
My policy has always been to get a good night's sleep before an exam.
Wolf-Pack85 wrote:
Is there a reason Justin couldn’t set an alarm, or several? Also, is there a reason Justin thinks you’re his mother?
OP responded:
Exhaustion most likely.
beefcurtainpecs wrote:
NTA, it sounds like you were both exhausted and burnt out from studying. At the end of the day you are both adults and can do for yourselves. It was nice of you to let him know at 2:30 that you were going to sleep and to set an alarm. I understand the frustration of not being coherent to comprehend information though.
As someone is in the medical world, and has studied like you all, ultimately you are responsible for your exam grades. I learned that studying at that level of exhaustion doesnt help. If I didnt know the material by then, I wasnt going to. His blame appears misplaced due to not doing well exam.
Rosie3435 wrote:
NTA. I hope he never becomes a doctor. He does not need a roommate to wake him. I do not want irresponsible doctors in the future. He can just blame himself.
OP responded:
No man. He’s gonna be a pretty good doctor. He’s a good dude and except for this one incident, where exhaustion made both of our minds fuzzy, he’s been great.
Ancastaoftheriver wrote:
NTA. You did wake him up. What would've been different half an hour later? Quite likely nothing, and now he'd still be saying you didn't make completely sure he was awake. If he's giving himself a pass for being too drowsy to comprehend what was happening, you - similarly exhausted - should be getting one too.
plumbus_aficianado wrote:
NTA - he should responsible for getting up. You both have terrible study hygiene. There absolutely are better ways to pass than on 2-3 hrs of sleep. It isn't an effective use of time to attempt to study while fatigued as your tired brain doesn't retain information. How you don't know this is a mystery, perhaps best explained by your terrible study habits.
AnotherShad0w wrote:
I’m a current neurosurgery resident and this dude is not going to be a good resident if he’s this quick to blame others for his own incompetence or unreliability. Not to mention - you did wake him up.
He fell back asleep, presumably the same reason he doesn’t rely on an alarm because he will snooze it. Definitely NTA.
Also stop staying up late cramming… a good nights sleep will be better for your performance than a couple exhausted hours of shitty studying that you don’t retain.
cloistered_around wrote:
"We were surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep daily, fueled by coffee and energy drinks (I know it’s not healthy but there’s no other way to pass lol)."
Actually the brain works better on sufficient sleep than it does on sleep deprivation. Surely that was covered in a med class? Anyway NTA for waking him up as asked and he forgot to set an alarm.