'AITA for reacting angrily when my boyfriend finished an entire bottle of salad dressing in a 24-hour period?'
"AITA for reacting angrily when my boyfriend finished an entire bottle of salad dressing in a 24 hour period?"
Hi everyone, I know this sounds so silly. Yesterday I purchased a bottle (a whole, normal sized bottle) of salad dressing for the meal I was planning to make. For context, I am the breadwinner in my household and buy almost all groceries, pay the mortgage, etc.
I have a great relationship with my partner but I just can’t shake the fact that we had such a big disagreement over something so silly. Anyways, I’m pretty normal with how I dress my salad, so I know that the bottle would last me at least 1-2 weeks. We go to have our meal tonight and I see that the dressing is all gone.
My feeling is that my partner has just plowed through something that I purchased in 24 hours. I find it kind of greedy and unnecessary. I brought this up with him - like, “hey, can you maybe try to use less salad dressing so that this can last longer?”
It turned into a huge argument, where he laughed in my face and said that I was “breaking his balls over salad dressing.” I buy most of the groceries and have had this occur many times before. Things that I purchase disappear before I can even get to them.
We’ve had this discussion before. He thinks I’m being absurd over caring about a few dollars worth of dressing, I’m trying to think big picture - like hello, we don’t need to plow through food goods like that especially when I’m the one buying them. We don’t have kids, it’s just the two of us. AITA?
The responses quickly came in.
Something-bothersome wrote:
INFO
Ok, it might sound stupid but how? I’m trying to imagine how the entire bottle can be gone? Was it being used for that much salad?
OP responded:
Two decent sized meal ish salads. I guess four if you count the second meal. But I guess I still can’t justify it. To me four salads might be half the bottle?
SolitaryTeaParty wrote:
NTA. If you use something up in the kitchen, it’s common courtesy to replace it - or at LEAST let someone know. He should have apologized for taking all of something that you were planning to use. Also, an ENTIRE bottle? That can’t be healthy. Out of curiosity, why are you the person paying all the bills?
OP responded:
I’m a dentist and he’s a biologist for a nonprofit. He contributes for sure. But I definitely deal with most finances.
wanderingstorm wrote:
NTA. It might be just salad dressing but...this is a massive red flag. Not only does this guy seem like a massive mooch - you tried to set a ridiculously easy to follow boundary...and he plowed through it and then laughed at you for getting upset.
And it's happened time and time again. This is your future. Your future will be this dude watching you pay all the bills while he "laughs in your face" instead of respecting your basic requests.
Cherry-Monster wrote:
NTA. Did he drink the bottle?? My ex used to do this to me with expensive alcohol. Like I’d buy a bottle of something special (think a nice whiskey or calvados— strong stuff, not wine), and when I went looking for it a day later to have a nightcap, the bottle would be entirely gone.
This happened repeatedly, and the ex would get super defensive whenever I brought it up. This is a huge red flag. It’s not just about the money or the salad dressing, it’s the fact that this is something you bought that you’re looking forward to consuming, and he isn’t considerate enough to leave any for you. It just shows a total lack of consideration.
Jmfroggie wrote:
NTA. This is absurd- on HIS part. No one eats that much salad dressing in a day. It’s general manners to not finish something without making sure it is immediately replaced or to see if anyone else needs it first. It’s also general manners not to completely mooch off another person and then be an a-- about it.
He doesn’t seem to care if you go without. He doesn’t respect you, what you contribute financially, what you contribute physically, and it doesn’t seem like he even likes you at all. He’s screwing with you on purpose and you keep letting him. Kick him out. Then laugh in his face.
You clearly don’t need him, and I can’t see why you’d WANT someone around you who sucks every last drop of what you have out of you. Respect yourself when he won’t. It’ll cost you far less money to be alone and far less aggravation for him to be far away.
Spiritual-Bridge3027 wrote:
You say that this happens frequently with him. This is a power play on his part and very much deliberate. He doesn’t respect you enough to either replace something you bought or at least give you a heads up.
I would advise you to take a hard look at his behavior and start with labeling containers with your name and a “Do Not Eat” warning. Proceed to locking up the fridge if that doesn’t work.
No mistakes about this - his behavior is deliberate. NTA.
Curious-Emphasis7698 wrote:
NTA. It really sounds like he is not respectful of you at all. He's being dismissive and a bit of an a-- about it. HOW did he go through a normal sized bottle of salad dressing in 24 hours. Why did he think that was a reasonable or acceptable thing to do? Especially with out replacing it or letting you know it was gone.
If he runs through something that fast, and hasn't reacted like an adult when you try to have adult conversations about this, maybe treat him the way he's acting. Leave that item off the list for a few weeks and let him do without. Only cook for one, let him shift for himself for a while.