'AITA for refusing to let my sister’s kids eat the food I cooked for my boyfriend?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to let my sister’s kids eat the food I cooked for my boyfriend?"

Okay, so here’s the situation. I (26F) live with my boyfriend (27M), and we both work full-time jobs. We try to meal prep on Sundays because we’re both exhausted after work during the week. I also love cooking, and last weekend I went all-out and made some amazing stuff: baked salmon, quinoa salad, roasted veggies, and a couple of homemade sauces. It took me like 4 hours.

My sister (32F) is going through a rough time — recently divorced, two kids (5 and 7), staying with our parents for now. She asked if she could swing by with the kids for a bit because she “just needed adult interaction.” I said sure, of course.

While she was here, the kids got hungry. My sister didn’t bring any snacks or food for them, and I guess she assumed I’d just feed them. When I said I didn’t really have anything kid-friendly, she opened the fridge and saw all the meal prep. She immediately said, “Oh perfect, this looks great!” and started heating up two portions of the salmon.

I stopped her and told her that was for me and my boyfriend for the week. She rolled her eyes and said, “It’s just food, and they’re just kids. You can cook more.” I told her no, that it wasn’t fair — especially since she didn’t ask. She got pissed and said I was being selfish and made the kids cry.

She ended up leaving in a huff, and now my mom is saying I could’ve just “shared a little” and that family should come first. But I don’t feel like I should be expected to give up our planned meals just because she didn’t come prepared.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

ConvivialKat wrote:

"She ended up leaving in a huff, and now my mom is saying I could’ve just “shared a little” and that family should come first. But I don’t feel like I should be expected to give up our planned meals just because she didn’t come prepared."

You should tell your Mom that if "family comes first," your sister should have shown up with food for everyone, not just raided your fridge of your weekly meal prep.

You should show up at your Mom's house for a visit and start cleaning out her pantry.

Adorableleg2414 wrote:

She asked if she could stop by for some adult interaction. At what point was food mentioned? As a mom, you always make sure you have fed your children or have some snacks available. Your sister is TA.

No_Philosopher_3308 wrote:

NTA, she should have been more prepared. She shouldn’t expect you to have to spend more time food prepping for the week due to her laziness to bring food for the kids or order home delivery.

FenyxFire wrote:

If it’s “just food” and they’re “just kids” then she can “just take them to McDonald’s” instead of raiding your fridge. NTA. As a parent, you don’t bring your kids places without asking about or bringing your own food to make sure your kids don’t starve.

Eggcellentplans wrote:

You don't rock up to someone's house and raid their fridge or pantry without express permission. If her kids are hungry she can make them a sandwich, not steal someone's expensive as hell salmon. And if cooking's so easy she's also welcome to get off her arse and do it herself. Pure rudeness on her part.

After receiving a good deal of feedback, OP shared an update.

Update: Thanks for all the responses — I wasn’t expecting that many people to weigh in, but it honestly helped me feel a little more sane. And for those asking: yes, the salmon was expensive. Like, $42-for-two-fillets expensive. I almost passed out when I saw the receipt, but I figured, “Hey, it’s a treat, and we’ll get a few meals out of it.” Joke’s on me, I guess.

This actually isn’t the first time something like this has happened. A few months ago, I made a big batch of soup from scratch (stock and all) and froze portions for the week. My sister came by “just to talk,” and while I was in the shower, she helped herself to two containers from the freezer because “I had so much.” She texted me after the fact, like it was no big deal.

I love my sister, I really do. But there’s a pattern here — she shows up unprepared, expects me to cover for it, and then makes me feel guilty when I set a boundary. I get that she’s stressed, but it’s starting to feel like my time, energy, and money don’t matter as long as her needs are being met.

For now, I’m taking a bit of space. And I’ve labeled everything in the fridge just in case.

(also again, for those asking, my nieces are allergic to A LOT of foods, so I wouldn’t have been able to give them anything without an epipen on standby.)

The comments kept coming in.

Wlfwrtr wrote:

NTA. Tell mom that's what you were doing when telling sister no. Making sure your family, the man you live with, came first. No one, not even extended family, has a right to come into your home and take what you and BF had paid for.

Pebbletale wrote:

She was out of line. It’s reasonable to have boundaries. You are NTA. She was being rude. That said it might be a good idea to pick up some easy shelf stable snacks if you expect they might come by again. She should ideally bring them herself but she’s obviously not in a good place so you can be the nice auntie and have some chips or fruit for them.

whattheheck00 wrote:

NTA, sounds like your family prefers and coddles your sister at your expense. That's tough, I can relate. I'm never the one that gets helped, my sister is 31 and they still regularly pay her bills even though she's employed full time. Idk when she'll ever get cut off, I was cut off at 18 and they didn't even help contribute to my college.