'AITA for refusing to let my neighbor use my driveway after she’s parked in it without asking?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to let my neighbor use my driveway after she’s been parking in it without asking?"
So I (30F) live in a suburban neighborhood with my husband (32M). We have a double driveway that fits both of our cars comfortably, and we’ve lived here for about five years. Our next-door neighbor, let’s call her Linda, moved in a year ago. She’s an older woman in her late 50s who seems friendly on the surface but has started to cause some issues.
It started a few months ago when I came home and found her car parked in my driveway. At first, I thought it was a mistake, so I knocked on her door to ask her to move it. She apologized, saying she had a guest over, and her driveway was full. I let it slide that time.
But then it kept happening. I’d come home to find her car (or sometimes her guests’ cars) in my driveway. I told her multiple times that it wasn’t okay, but she’d just shrug it off and move the car when I asked, often saying things like, “It’s not like you were using it right then.”
The final straw happened last week. My MIL (the one who isn’t exactly my biggest fan) was visiting, and I specifically asked her to park in the driveway so she wouldn’t block the street. When we came home from running errands, Linda’s car was there again. MIL was already in a bad mood, and she snidely remarked, “Wow, even your neighbors walk all over you. I wonder why.”
I was furious. I knocked on Linda’s door and told her that this was the last time she was parking in my driveway, period. She got defensive, saying I was being unreasonable since she only does it “occasionally” and that it’s just a driveway, not a sacred space.
Since then, she’s started giving me the cold shoulder, and I’ve noticed her glaring at me whenever I’m outside. My husband says I might’ve gone too far and should’ve just let it slide, especially since she’s older and it’s “not worth the drama.” Even my MIL (shockingly) agreed, saying that I should pick my battles.
But I feel like it’s my property, and I shouldn’t have to keep asking someone not to use it without permission. At the same time, maybe I overreacted by confronting her so harshly. So, AITA for refusing to let my neighbor park in my driveway and possibly escalating things?
The internet shared their thoughts on the situation.
NOT_MEEHAN wrote:
NTA for setting a boundary, but might want to change your approach. That or have her car towed next time she does it and that will be the final nail in this coffin.
nanabanafofana wrote:
NTA Your neighbor is being a jerk. So is your husband. Does he ever complain because there’s no room in the driveway when he comes home? I bet if he was inconvenienced enough times he’ll go have a talk with her or to the car. Old people don’t get a pass just because they’re old. This is coming from a 70-year-old woman.
robotwalrus wrote:
Your MIL is the real AH here. First she accuses you of letting your neighbor walk over you, then she tells you that you should have let your neighbor walk over you when you stood up for yourself? You should have a long talk with your husband about boundaries.
savinathewhite wrote:
NTA. Tell her next time it will be towed. Then have it towed. Then ignore her - it’s nice to be friendly with neighbors, but some people are AHs and it can’t be helped. Or you could randomly start parking in her driveway and see how she likes it. I’m in my 50’s and would never park on someone’s property without permission. Because it’s bloody rude.
Turmeric_Ping wrote:
NTA. Your neighbour was repeatedly causing you inconvenience by committing trespass on your property. She's probably acted this way all her life, and made it a condition of having a cordial relationship with her that she be allowed to get away with things like this. You don't need a cordial relationship with her as much as you need exclusive use of your driveway. TL;DR: screw her and the horse she rode in on.
Bobsmith38594 wrote:
NTA. OP, next time Linda parks on your property, you should immediately call the tow truck. Do not try to “keep the peace” by allowing Linda free rein on your property. Good fences make for good neighbors. Her want doesn’t constitute an obligation on your part.
You have no obligation to allow ANYONE to use your property without your consent. Your MIL and husband need to grow a spine and stop letting an entitled grifter boss them around.
JanetInSpain wrote:
Your husband is WRONG. Is he a doormat? How did expecting your neighbor to stay out of your driveway "going too far?" Your MIL is wrong too. It's YOUR property and your neighbor is preventing you from using it.
Put up a sign at the end of the driveway that says "private parking -- violators will be towed" or somesuch. Then if she parks there again, HAVE HER CAR TOWED. Don't call her or give her warning. She already knows she's not supposed to park there.
Accomplished_Hat5116 wrote:
NTA. It’s your driveway and property, and Linda has no right to use it without your permission. Her repeated disregard for your boundaries is disrespectful, and after giving her multiple chances, you were justified in firmly setting a boundary. It’s not about the driveway being “sacred”; it’s about respect for personal property.
Her behavior is entitled, and while your husband and MIL may see it as “drama,” standing up for yourself is important when someone blatantly disregards your rights as a homeowner. If she continues, consider putting up a "No Parking" sign, blocking your driveway, or contacting local authorities if necessary. You’re not being unreasonable—just asking for basic respect.
The next day OP came back with this update:
Hey everyone, I wanted to update you on my previous post about my neighbor Linda (late 50s) constantly parking in my driveway without asking. For those who didn’t see the original post, I (30F) live with my husband (32M) in a suburban neighborhood with a double driveway. Over the past few months, Linda has repeatedly ignored my requests to stop parking in our driveway.
Well, today things finally came to a head. I woke up early for an appointment only to find Linda’s car parked in my driveway again, blocking me in. My husband had already left for work, so I knocked on her door and waited for about 15 minutes, but there was no answer. I even tried calling her, but her phone went straight to voicemail.
I was running late and completely fed up, so I called a towing company. They arrived quickly, and as they were hooking up her car, Linda stormed out of her house, furious. She yelled at me and the tow truck driver, calling me "petty" and claiming I could have just “waited a bit longer” or “left a note.” I calmly reminded her that I’d asked her multiple times to stop parking in my driveway, but she wasn’t having it.
She ended up paying the towing fee, and now she’s absolutely livid. She’s been telling other neighbors that I’m a “vindictive control freak,” and a couple of them have hinted that I might’ve gone too far. Even my husband thinks I could have handled it differently and avoided escalating things.
And, of course, my MIL, who was visiting today, had to chime in with one of her usual subtle digs. As we were sitting down for lunch, she casually remarked, “Some people just can’t manage conflict like adults.” I’m pretty sure she wasn’t talking about Linda.
So now, Linda glares at me every time she sees me, my husband is annoyed about the neighborhood drama, and my MIL is treating this like it’s my personal failure. I still think I was justified, but I’ll admit the fallout is a lot to deal with. Just wanted to keep you all updated—thanks for all the advice on the last post!
Here's what people had to say after the update:
Just tell the neighbours that you will inform Linda that she is allowed to park in their driveway.
Also, stop inviting MIL due to bad behaviour. Tell her if she can't control her mouth, you'll have her towed.
Seems like you DID try to resolve the conflict before escalating. Justified.