'AITA for refusing to make my daughter apologize to a girl she made mad?'
"AITA for refusing to make my daughter apologize to a girl she made mad?"
My daughter 11f had a soccer game today and I 39m was able to take her. I also took one of her teammates 11f home from their game as well.
This girl and my daughter are kinda friends but they aren't super close and IMO the girl can be kinda mean sometimes and she was on the ride home.
My wife and I still have our daughter in a high back booster seat even though it's not a legal requirement at her age in our state and this girl doesn't use one.
She started making fun of my daughter's booster seat saying things like "you're a big baby " and "you sit in a baby seat."
My daughter got upset but then told this girl "I like my booster seat I can see out the window a lot better then you can with it" and "I have my own seat in the car just for me with my own cupholders and a special place for my snacks." She then proceeded to show this girl the secret compartment her booster seat has that she keeps her snacks and sometimes toys in.
This made the girl stop teasing my daughter about her booster seat and the rest of the ride went okay. We dropped the girl off at her house and then we went home. But later I got a call from the the girls mother, she was furious with me saying that her daughter came home and said my daughter was very mean to her and made fun of her for not having a booster seat.
I told her that her daughter wasn't being very nice and maybe if she was nicer to my daughter this wouldn't have happened. But this just made her more mad. She said I was a terrible father and still insisted I make my daughter apologize to her daughter but I still refused because i don't think my daughter has anything to apologize for.
Since then she has sent me a few angry text messages demanding I make my daughter apologize.
AITA?
The internet did not hold back.
yellowsunrise_ wrote:
NTA. Your daughter responded very maturely. Perhaps don’t let your daughter hang out with this girl anymore though? She’s mean and lies.
OP responded:
Well they are on the same soccer team so I don't see how we could stop them from having to see each other. But my daughter doesn't really see her outside soccer much.
wildferalfun wrote:
NTA. I have a 10 year old still in a high back booster because she is the size of an average 7 year old. She absolutely is required by state law to be in one because of her stature. She is so self conscious though. She prefers to never be seen in the car, refuses to be dropped off in the car line and is very unwilling to have others in our car without being sure they're going to respect her enough not to comment.
I would have told the snotty girl, "Daughter has no say in what seat she sits in, this decision is between in Daughter's mother and I, you need to keep your comments about it to yourself because its not kind to comment about things people have no choice about like their car booster, their parents' choices and rules, etc." But your daughter stood up for herself very confidently. Bravo to her.
OP responded:
Glad to hear your keeping your daughter safe too. Maybe you could point out the cool perks her booster seat provides her and how she has her own special seat in the car, that might make her like it more and be less self conscious about it.
Maybe I should have told this girl how mean it was of her to make fun of my daughter's booster seat when she has no say in riding in it but my daughter handled her pretty good it seems LOL.
I'm glad my daughter didn't get really upset and start hating her booster seat because of this girls mean comments, I mean don't get me wrong your right she's 11 she has no say in riding in it, it's up to her mom and i and she is staying in her booster seat until she fits the seatbelt properly without it, but it wouldn't be very much fun having to argue with her and hear her complain about it LOL.
SlappySlapsticker wrote:
Huh? I mean sure 11-year-olds are sensitive, but it sounds like this was a pretty mature conversation between the two of them which ended well. What even does your daughter have to defend herself for, answering the other girls comments about why booster is better?
NTA. Let the other girl's mum placate her princess who's unreasonably upset about... whoever knows what.
Edit: someone correctly pointed out it was the other girl's mum that called.
calicodynamite wrote:
NTA. It’s great that your daughter was able to stand up for herself. I would stop offering the other girl rides — and definitely not if the mom doesn’t stop harassing you about an apology.
TrashPandaLJTar wrote:
NTA and sounds like that mother can do her own leg work from now on, if she's going to be rude about it after you've explained what happened.
Block her and move on with life. Her daughter's behaviour is probably a direct result of her own attitude so it's unlikely to change. You don't get to rant at someone and then continue to use their generosity. FAFO mama, you're gonna be doing a lot more soccer game trips.
PetalWhisperrr wrote:
Your daughter was being teased and she handled it pretty well by standing up for herself without being mean. The other girl’s mom is being ridiculous by trying to twist the story and make your daughter the bad guy. It sounds like her daughter started the whole thing by making fun of your daughter’s booster seat. Your daughter didn’t insult the other girl; she just pointed out the positives of her own situation.
You were right to not make your daughter apologize for defending herself. Maybe the other mom should have a talk with her own daughter about not being a bully in the first place. Don’t let her guilt trip you; you did the right thing by supporting your daughter. Her kid tried to dish it out and couldn’t handle it when your daughter didn’t just take it.