Dental assistant fired after exposing boss’s affair with patient to his furious wife. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to cover for my boss and getting him in trouble with his wife?"
I (26F) work as a dental assistant at a private clinic with one dentist…Dr. Mark (41M). He’s charming, good looking and super confident. Patients love him and he’s well respected in our small town. I’ve worked here for 3 years and always kept things professional.
A few months ago, I noticed he started getting a little too flirty with certain female patients..complimenting their looks, lingering a bit too long in the room, making borderline inappropriate jokes when no one else was around.
It made me uncomfortable, but I brushed it off, thinking maybe I was being too sensitive…Then one day, this new patient came in, a woman probably in her late 20s. After she left, Mark winked and said something like ‘Now that’s a reason to come to work.’ I laughed awkwardly, trying to ignore it lol.
Fast forward to last week. That same woman comes back for a cleaning and after her appointment, I walk into the back room and overhear Mark on the phone…with her...flirting, making plans.
It was very clearly personal and not dental related at all! Later that day, a woman storms into the office. Turns out...it was Mark’s wife. She somehow got wind of the affair and came to confront him.
The waiting room was full and she was yelling, asking if it was true, demanding to know who the girl was and then… she turned to me. She said something like ‘You work with him. You must know. Is he cheating on me?’
My heart was pounding, but I looked his wife in the eye and said just like this ‘Yes. I think he’s been seeing someone who comes here. I’m sorry…..:(’ She walked out in tears. He looked at me like I just ruined his life.
He hasn’t said much to me since, except to say I betrayed him and should’ve stayed out of it…. The next morning, he called me into his office and told me it wasn’t going to work out anymore. No formal write up. No explanation. Just a thanks for your time and I was out.
Now I’m at home, updating my resume and applying to other clinics, wondering if I did the right thing. I keep thinking about that moment…how scared and hurt his wife looked, and how badly I would've felt lying for him. I know I lost my job, but I also know I couldn’t have looked her in the eye and said nothing. So… AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Nah girl you def ain't the AH. You kept it real and stood on morals. He played stupid games and got the prize...don't let him make you second guess that. You did the right thing for real.
AdrianaSweetxo (OP)
Appreciate that! I really needed to hear it. It's been a tough situation, but l'am glad i kept it real...ye you're right, he played games and now he's facing the consequences...
Maybe consult with a lawyer and see if you have a lawsuit. Firing someone for not covering up their adulterous affair has to be illegal.
NTA. Dude was out here wildin, got caught slippin, and wanted you to play clean up crew? Nahhh. He messed up, not you. You kept it real, he couldn’t handle it. Let him be mad, you dodged a whole mess.
AdrianaSweetxo (OP)
Exactly..he messed up, not me. I kept it real and if he can't handle that's on him. Btw appreciate the support!
Y'know, men step out on their wives all the time and women also cheat, of course. But only an idiot does it in a patient forward business, in front of uncomfortable employees, and let's an altercation play out in front of a waiting room full of patients. NTA. I'm sending you positive job hunting vibes that you'll find a better job with better money and benefits. ✌️ and ❤️
NTA, you only spoke the truth. This is 100% on his cheating self, don't take the chance if you don't want to be caught...
To be fair, you.... I'm not gonna say ruined his life, but definitely threw some gasoline on that particular fire. You weren't wrong though and you had no obligation to lie for him. You might be able to go to the labor board and get him for retaliation depending on the state.
But if you can find another job quickly it's probably not worth the effort. But short term polish up your resume and remember that now you don't have to expose yourself to such a terrible person anymore. I am sorry that he treated you like this though.
YTA: What was your proof exactly? Sounding flirty, making inappropriate jokes, and plans for something. You did not see him call a person his girlfriend, you didn't see them kiss, you didn't catch them in the act of anything sexual. Your response should have been to the lady you never met before "who are you?" and "I'm not sure". You basically guessed.
ETA. You know he was flirty, you don’t know he cheated He’s an AH cause he’s well on his way if he wasn’t. And if you work in an at will state you shouldn’t be surprised he fired you. The answer that keeps you from getting fired is “I just work here ma’am.”