'AITA for taking all my mom's photos from dad's house and asking his new wife why it's any of her business?'

"AITA for taking all my mom's photos from dad's house and asking his new wife why it's any of her f#$king business?"

My dad got married last month and his wife only moved in a week after the wedding (they were long distance for three years). I (17M) still live at home for now but I plan to move out this summer. When my dad's wife moved in she told my dad she didn't want to see any photos of my mom around the house.

That it was supposed to be her home and she could not make a home with those memories on display. She needed to know she was his wife, not just his second wife. So the photos came down. My dad was going to store them so he offered to let me take whatever photos I wanted since they'd just gather dust according to him.

I took them all. Not some, not one or two, I took them all and my grandparents are keeping them safe for me. Dad's wife had no issue with me taking the ones I wanted until I wanted them all. Then she asked me why I was taking them all and I asked her why it bothered her so much.

She said one or two made sense but it felt like a big f you that I was taking them all and couldn't stand the idea of the others going into indefinite storage. I told her it sounded like she was planning to throw them out once our backs were turned and she got pissed and told me I was insulting her by taking them all. I got mad and asked her why it's any of her business and who is she to tell me what I can and can't do.

My dad told her I was told I could take whatever and she said she hadn't realized I'd take every one of them. Then she said I insulted her in her own home and asked dad why I had such an attitude toward her. I told her she was the one who interfered when she wasn't asked to. That became another fight and dad told us to cool off.

She's still annoyed that I took them all and still feels like it was a f you to her. She also said I was beyond rude to curse at her and ask her why it was her business, as if to say she doesn't also live here and isn't my family now. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say.

Top-Spite-1288 wrote:

So, let me get this straight:

-Second wife demands all photos of 1st wife being taken down as she does not want to see them

-Husband/dad complies, tells OP to take whatever photos he wants. Any photos OP does not want would go into storage.

-OP takes all photos, dad is fine with it, grandparents are fine with it.

-Second wife is upset and angry at OP for taking all the pictures she never ever wanted to see, feeling disrespected by a son taking all the photos of his mother ...

Ahem ...crazy? NTA!!!

OP responded:

Yep. She's the one with the problem even though she wanted them taken down in the first place.

Eva-Dragon wrote:

NTA. Those pictures are pictures of YOUR mom. They have no relevance to her. She wanted them gone. Now that they're gone, she's throwing a hissy fit. It's actually not about the pictures. It's about control. You're absolutely right.

She was going to throw them away. Because again this is about control. She wanted to control the narrative about what happened to them. If she controlled the narrative, then you got the ones SHE wanted you to have, the rest went to file 13.

maroongrad wrote:

NTA. And get EVERYTHING of your mom's that you want to keep, out of there. Anything she gave you. Anything she gave him, that he would give you to. All heirlooms, all mementos. You have 100% called it, that she's planning to get rid of it all. Anything of your mom's needs to go to the grandparents, even if that means sneaking it out.

I'd personally grab her birth certificate as a keepsake myself, and see if there's anything else like that you might want. Wedding certificate is also something I'd take. It doesn't seem to mean much to your dad, but it's one of those things you can pass down and grandkids would consider special.

OP responded:

All the important stuff is already somewhere else. So that's not a concern. My dad and grandparents put a box together for me after mom died. As a way for me to have her things when I got older.

Top_Strawberry2348 wrote:

If she doesn’t want them, what was the problem if they all were taken. OP is NTA.

OP responded:

That was my question and she wouldn't answer.

Beautiful-Control169 wrote:

Put some photos up of your mum in your room. Who does she think she is dictating rules like that. She's only around because your mum passed.

OP responded:

I'm not keeping them in the house to do that. Since they're already a sore point I wouldn't like to trust them around her now.

Bigstachedad wrote:

Your stepmother doesn't seem to realize that her home is also your home. I get why she doesn't want pictures of your mother around the house. Taking them all to your grandparents was a good idea. I don't know why she's concerned that you took all of them and not just some, then said you insulted her. It seems she likes to stir up trouble needlessly. The pictures are you and your father's property, not hers.

OP responded:

I truly think she was hoping to destroy them because it makes no sense for her to be this bothered by it otherwise.

nutinknow wrote:

NTA. This whole thing sounds like a power play by the stepmom. She probably figured she'd get rid of the photos, exert some control, and nobody would question it. Good for you for taking them all. I would've done the same thing. Family photos are important.