'AITA for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?'
"AITA for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?"
I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter.
He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home. So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes.
I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive (a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK).
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ERVetSurgeon said:
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
turquoise_turtle83 said:
She is smirking about potential assault and her father doesn't seem to understand the severity in this. Seems like your reasoning is logical and your concerns are valid. Living with them, when he as a neglectful parent sanction this behavior sounds potentially dangerous for you.
fbombmom_ said:
NTA. He is welcome to visit with her elsewhere. This is completely his fault for not disciplining her. This is evil of her. She's literally joking about killing you. I'd tell him that if she comes back at all and you have a reaction because of her, you'll call the police on both of them and press charges. But seriously, you deserve better than this guy. He gives zero f-s about your life.
CheapOrphan said:
NTA. One day it is going to go too far and you are going to end up seriously hurt in the hospital due to an allergic reaction that she purposely brought on because she thinks its funny. You could even literally die. If your boyfriend can’t see how serious that is then you need to leave for your own safety.
shammy_dammy said:
NTA. She's trying to kill you. So, the big question here is...which one of you has the greater legal right to the place you're living in. And if he can't handle only being with you without the person trying to kill you, well, that should tell you what you need to know. Also...might want to mention to him that what his kid is doing is illegal and maybe...well, you know.
Winter_Owl6097 said:
NTA.... He's OK with his daughter trying to kill you? How far do you think this relationship will go? How loving do you think it will be?