'AITA for warning my sister if she won't shut up about what I name my child then we'll need time apart?'
"AITA for warning my sister that if she won't shut up about what she wants me to name my child then we'll need some time apart?"
My sister (30f) and I (26f) have usually been pretty close but during my pregnancy she has been pushing boundaries over the name of my child. My sister gave birth to her son George a few months ago.
It was during the time our pregnancies overlapped that she became obsessed with this idea that if I had a girl I should name her Charlotte and then we'd have a George and a Charlotte. She's obsessed with all things Bridgerton so that's where her inspiration comes from. That and how she likes classic vintage names.
My sister likes older names anyway and she has been a little opinionated on names I liked in the past. Before either of us were pregnant I had expressed that a little girl we met had a cute name (Meadow) and she was like omg no and that's not the kind of name we should ever consider for our future kids. Another time after our cousin had a baby and she named him Dex I said how much I loved it.
Afterward my sister was asking me why I'd lie and I told her I didn't and I really loved the name. Even with stuff like that happening occasionally she didn't fixate on it. But now? Totally different. At the very start she told me I should choose a vintage name for a baby like Ethel, Evelyn or Arthur, Theodore.
I told her I wasn't looking for name ideas and wouldn't discuss them with anyone but my husband. Then when she had decided on George for her son she told me I needed to name my baby Charlotte if she's a girl. She wants me to use Edmund for a boy because of another Bridgerton character. I told her we weren't discussing names.
But she kept bringing it up and then she asked me what I was going to name my baby and I said it wasn't something we were talking about until after baby is here and we're ready to announce. In reality we're between two girls names right now with Lyra slightly winning right now.
I know my sister won't like the name and I'm not telling her in advance so she can double down even harder on the idea of Charlotte. But all this interference from my sister is pissing me off. I have changed the subject, walked away and hung up on her and it still doesn't stop her. So the other day when she brought it up again I told her to stop.
That I don't want to repeat myself anymore but if she wont shut up about the name Charlotte or what she wants me to name my child then we'll need some time apart and I won't answer any calls or go anywhere she is. I told her I mean it. That she's pushing too much when this baby is not hers.
She told me I was overreacting and it would be petty to stop talking to her over baby names. I told her it's not about the names themselves but the way she keeps trying to tell me what to name my child. I told her I didn't do this to her. Her response was I was acting like a kid instead of an adult. AITA?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
Mrsanjuro75 wrote:
It would be petty to stop talking over baby names. It would NOT be petty to stop talking over having an established boundary stomped on again and again because she can’t let it go.
NTA.
OP responded:
Thank you!! It's not cutting her off because she suggested a baby name but she's forcing it on me despite me laying out boundaries for that. And I'm pretty sure I'll be following through on the promise. But if that's what it takes then I just gotta do that.
GreenOnionCrusader wrote:
Remind her your kids aren't married to each other.
OP responded:
But that makes it cuter! At least in her eyes. It's not like two best friends doing it in hopes of forcing their kids together. She said that would be weird but naming cousins like that is adorable.
Carpenter_Fancy wrote:
NTA - it’s childish to keep ignoring a request from someone when they very clearly told you “no”." She is doing this to herself and doesn’t need to dictate your choices. Plus you have your husband, who also gets to have a say, she’s being disrespectful to both of you. What does her own partner say about her behaviors? Is she pushy like this to others about other things?
OP responded:
She has never been this pushy about anything else. Like ever. I don't know why this had to be the thing she was like this about but it's very out of character for her. Though it comes from how strongly she feels about names. Her husband stays out of it.
ReplyEmbarrassed7760 wrote:
NTA. Just keep repeating her that you and your husband don't agree with the names she likes and that you and your husband will decide the name once your baby is born. If she carries on, stand your ground, follow through with going NC until your baby is born. But expect that she might cause a fuss even after your baby is born.
Foreverforgettable wrote:
NTA. You have already told her your boundaries, now follow through with the consequences. Stop engaging with her at all, even if only for a week. The only way she will learn is by experiencing the consequences of not behaving, much like a child. Which is funny considering she accused you of behaving like one when it is she who is currently the embodiment of a toddler.
RememberCakeFarts wrote:
NTA. You have set a firm boundary and she is disrespecting you by stepping all over it. And for what? Her obsession with a series? You have every right to cut her off if she continues. But you could also play into it by saying "I don't want to name our children after romantic partners."
"Not to mention given it's a popular series parents are using the names more frequently for their newborns; there will be a number of Charlottes in George's age range while he's growing up."
"What if our little mad king George grows up and finds a Charlotte that he likes romantically but can't get over the fact that she shares a name with his close cousin? You would have ruined a chance of a having a real George and Charlotte and planning a themed wedding."