'AITA for yelling at my partner because I paid them to care for my cat and house and they made a mess?'
"AITA for yelling at my partner because I paid them to take care of my cat and house and instead they made a mess?"
I paid my partner to look after my cat and take care of my place while I was away for Thanksgiving. I would have paid a cat sitter, but they needed the money, so I figured I would let them stay at mine and pay them instead. I left my place pretty clean. When I came home, everything was just all f--ked up.
Clothes thrown everywhere, cables from my work desk unplugged and moved, furniture moved, bed not made, bathroom looking nasty. Not exactly "looking after the place," more like just living in the place and not cleaning up after yourself. But what pissed me off the most? The cat litter wasn't scooped at all.
My cat had just been peeing and sh--ing on top of the old waste for what looked like the entire 5 days. Initially, I tried to hold it together and not make a scene because my roommate was home and I didn't want to cause a scene. But I just couldn't hold it together anymore.
I yelled at her and told her it's just downright disrespectful and sh--ty to do. To me & to the cat. I feel like TA because she started crying, but I feel like I'm right to be upset? Maybe just the way I delivered it & didn't hold it together was TA move. Idk. I'm pissed off.
The internet kept it real in the comment section.
RavenRaving wrote:
NTA. Imagine living with someone who treats a home like that when they have accepted payment for caring for it. Imagine living with someone who is cruel enough to not scoop a cat box for 5 days. Wow. Is this what you want to sign up for in a long-term relationship?
OP responded:
I got together with them when I was 19 and am now 23. It's the only long term relationship I've been in. But maybe I need to see things for what they are and move on. The litterbox is an automatic one that should cycle, so maybe they just didn't realize? But it's not that hard to see, unplug, replug & press cycle. Especially because I asked them to look after the cat. IDK. It's f-ked up.
gordonf23 wrote:
NTA. You paid her to take care of the place and take care of the cat. She did the exact opposite of that. You had every right to be angry and to let her know that she f--ked up and really let you down.
newlyestablished wrote:
NTA. Sure, your delivery could’ve been better, but for all intents and purposes, you were paying money in exchange for a service that you didn’t receive. You’re especially NTA because you didn’t specifically need this person to do it. You were letting them do it as a favor since they needed the cash when, in reality, your pet would’ve been in better hands with someone else.
ArtShapiro wrote:
NTA.
Your cat is far, far more important than someone's emotional reaction to being correctly called out. I would have been absolutely livid.
lazydaycats wrote:
NTA. The repercussions of a cat being forced to use such a dirty litterbox could have resulted in your cat going elsewhere throughout your home. Your partner was totally disrespectful of your home and pet.
Since money was involved this was a job that didn't even come close to meeting expectations. You have every right to be mad and going forward you know more about your partner than before. What you do with this knowledge is up to you.
pixie-ann wrote:
NTA did she have an excuse for not doing the job she was paid to do? Any excuse would be inadequate but I’m curious to know what she came up with.
I hope you didn’t pay her. Your poor cat! You’re lucky it didn’t start going to the toilet in other places with such a dirty litter tray.
whorible_wife69 wrote:
You had to pay your partner of 4 years to watch your apartment and cat? I could understand if they were traveling to your place on a daily basis to do so but it reads as if they moved into your apartment for 5 days and trashed it. I think you kinda saw what living with them will look like and if you don't run you are choosing this life. I really hope you did not pay them. NTA.
allyka86 wrote:
NTA. Your poor cat is much more tolerant than my parent's cat. I have to clean the catbox there literally every day when they are away, or she poops on the floor. Your cat should not have to be neglected like that. I hope she at least fed your cat and gave it fresh water.
As for the trashed home, it sounds to me like she was looking for something. Maybe make sure any valuables you have are still there. She has wildly different opinions than you do about what is acceptable for care of a living creature, so I would suggest considering if this is even a relationship you want to continue.
PJsAreComfy wrote:
I'm still hung up on your "partner" of four years getting paid to take care of your cat. (The fact that she didn't even do it is just the cherry atop the shit sundae.) I'd do it for free for any of my friends or neighbors, and especially my partner's pets.
If after all this time you're not collaborating as a team, wanting to help each other when you can, then I'd question what exactly the relationship is. I'm curious what her explanation was.
Rude-Manufacturer635 wrote:
NTA. When a former significant other asked me to look after her pets while she was out of town, I went at it with the mindset that the dog would be taken out for his waste elimination at the same interval his human takes him out, and the cats would have their boxes scooped/changed as needed daily.
Additionally, since I was bunking down there, I made sure to leave the place better than I found it and pick up after myself. As for this relationship, you need to ask yourself: is this the normal amount of keeping after herself when you’re there? Is she weaponizing incompetence so that she can be a useless weight around the house? What the hell does HER house look like?