'AITA for telling a bride on her wedding day that her fiancé was trying to get with me?'
"AITA for telling a bride on her wedding day that her fiancé was trying to get with me?"
I am 25 (F) and had just finished college when I started with a group of friends, including the bride and the groom in this story. We were not close, just acquainted. The following year I did not return to school because of fee issues so I got jobs...most of them temporary.
The groom, let us call him Tim, would text me once in a blue moon, but last month the tone changed and he invited me to hang out. I agreed...did not think much of it because our college is an IT school with not a lot of female students...it is normal to have guy friends without the awkwardness.
We hang out normally. The following weeks he texted me constantly, including a confession, saying he likes me and wishes to pursue more than friendship type of relationship. I did not reciprocate because I was busy with my studies, I had to finish my assignments and final project. I did not want to be bothered with relationship issues at the moment.
Tim lives in a different district, meaning if we were to pursue a relationship it was going to be long distance, so I was cautious and didn't want to get emotionally invested.
Yesterday, I was scrolling on Whatsapp when one of my friends posted two wedding invitations, and one of them was for Time getting married the following day, meaning today, to a woman, let us call her Sally, who I remembered her during our first year of college.
I felt uneasy. I asked my friends for advice, one said to let it go and let them be, but to me it felt like witnessing a crime and doing anything about it. I spent the night trying to find her number, and ended up texting him for being disgusting.
The next morning I received texts on my phone, one from Tim, saying, "Anyway that's your perspective,and I can't change it. Even if I try to say otherwise I will only look like am trying to cover up, and seem to you like am lying more and more and it. It's difficult for me to try to make you to understand. If wish to understand we can talk."
I did not reply. There is nothing else I can say to this disgusting man. I did get her number though, but when I texted her and sent her images of his confession to me, she was offline probably preparing for her wedding.
I called her and explained the situation. She went online saw the texts and thanked me. The wedding did proceed. All I wanted was for her to know the person she is getting married to. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
silenceredirectshere said:
Definitely NTA, I would want to know. It's wild that they still proceeded with the wedding, but you did the right thing by telling her.
Pleasant-Try9103 said:
NTA. You did what you had to do for your own conscience. You'll sleep better. If either of them, husband or wife, try to contact you in the future I would advise you ignore it all and pretend neither one exists.
themcp said:
NTA, a bride should know what kind of guy she is marrying, and if she can get told that in advance all the better.
RNGinx3 said:
NTA, I would want to know. I know everyone says "that's easy to say," but no. Been there, and I wish they would have told me.
Similar_Corner8081 said:
NTA. You did what was right and she proceeded to marry him anyway. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.
Francl27 said:
NTA. I learned when I divorced that my ex was hitting on my best friend the day of my divorce. There were more red flags that I was too naive/immature to see but yeah, maybe if I had known I would have done the smart thing.
Low-Combination-8363 said:
You did the right thing. You got it said before the wedding. She knows what she’s getting into.
ShaneGMWC said:
If you are waiting UNTIL the wedding day to tell her that her dude has been trying to get with you, that’s kind of an asshole move. If you tell her beforehand then you’re just providing her with information I’m sure she would appreciate.
FrustratedLemonTree OP responded:
I learned of the wedding the day before, I got her number the day of the wedding, I had no choice, it was difficult for me too