'AITA for asking my husband to go somewhere else for a week right after I gave birth?'
"AITA for asking my husband to go stay somewhere else for a week (right after I gave birth to our child)?"
28F. I just gave birth to our first (and likely last) child 4 days ago. I'm so emotionally exhausted. But not for the normal reasons (I don't think). My husband has been stressing me out since I went in to labor. Please tell me if this is just hormones. I truly can't even think properly cause I'm just so tired. Might be long, I'm sorry.
So.. I go in to labor at 2am. He takes his sweet a&$ time driving me to the hospital (an hour away). Even stops to grab himself a coffee. My water breaks 20 minutes from the hospital. I'm in excruciating pain AND panicked because I'm still in the vehicle and I can tell that I'm so, so close to giving birth.
I was having contractions lasting 33ish seconds, with exactly 1 minute between. He panics when my water breaks and pulls over and calls the ambulance and we end up having to wait 10 minutes for them, instead of him just driving me the rest of the way. As soon as I get in the hospital room, he starts losing it. He is sobbing, full hysterics and being so loud about it.
Keeps saying things like "I can't lose her," insinuating that I was going to die. It essentially made me have a very difficult delivery because now I'm panicked thinking I'm going to die. I deliver our daughter 22 minutes after arriving at the hospital. I eventually call my mother and ask her to come see me.
She comes in with my siblings (16yo twins) and within maybe 10 minutes, my husband is acting pi#@ed off. Says he's stepping outside. Comes back in 40 minutes later. My mom and siblings leave. He then starts jumping down my neck about how "disrespectful" my mother is for even showing up when she knows that I "need sleep."
Then he's badgering me about eating something despite me telling him several times I'm not hungry. So he gets irritated again, telling me repeatedly "you need to eat something" and getting more and more stern as he's speaking. Eventually I gathered that HE was hungry and he felt guilty eating when I hadn't eaten and instead of just saying that, he just got an attitude.
Then he fell asleep. Every single time he woke up and I was still awake, he got irritated again. "You need to get some damn sleep!" We get discharged the next day.
So.. since we have been home he's stressing me out even more. If the baby spits up, he's immediately saying "omg we need to go to the hospital." He has been trying to force feed me. Literally sits beside me trying to feed me when I quite literally cannot keep a lot down right now and he knows that.
But like.. yesterday I fell asleep. I had the baby beside me in the bassinet. He wakes me up and says "babe she's been screaming for like 10 minutes!" And it makes me feel bad but then again...he was in the room when I fell asleep so where tf was he when she was screaming?
He apparently went to take a nap on the couch. But he came home yesterday and I was taking a nap and he says, under his breath, "must be nice, wish I could sleep." I told him at this point that I'm the one who's up ALL night breastfeeding the baby while he sleeps soundly.
I do all nightly changings as well. I have the baby ALL day long (he works). Don't even start. He goes "no one asked me how I have been feeling since the baby was born". I told him I needed him to leave for a week or something because this entire time he has been pushing me in to a weird state of like...
I don't f*(^%$g like you because of how invasive and demanding you're being and I'm just really starting to dislike you at this point. Which he already knew and he just kept pushing. He says I'm an AH and that "he's stressed too" and that he's "just looking out for me" by trying to force me to eat and whatever. I just need space. AITA?
Edit: I'm so sorry, I forgot one big thing...yesterday he was on the phone with someone telling them my birth story and literally made out like I was hysterical. Like...mocked my screams to show how I was acting.
And that really bothered me and I told him that and he said "you'll really just find anything to be pissed off about right now, won't you?" Or says that he "doesn't want people around the baby" but welcomed his mom in not even 10 minutes later because she stopped by unannounced.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
I don’t know. You comments make him sound crazy, but then again you chose to make a baby with him. Can’t decide.
Aggravating_Card8550 OP responded:
He's not crazy. He's acting mental since the baby was born. Super pushy and demanding when that is NOT who he is as a person. So I know it's because he's stressed out over the new baby.
The issue is that it is driving me insane because I can't do anything without him down my back trying to force me to eat or making stupid comments or telling me we need to bring the baby to the ER or allowing his mother here to see the baby after he said he didn't want my mother here because he doesn't want the baby sick.
OP. Your husband needs to be put into the psych ward himself before anything happens in the worst way. His actions are borderline a^%$#e. Have your mum help you out but his own mother needs to be told that he's not acting normal & take him in line.
The man stopped for coffee while you were in labor. Really? I mean you are not overreacting. I personally would never have reproduced with this specimen of human but RAISING a kid with him? Just raise your kid in a good environment.
NTA. But you have a lot more issues than just him acting this way. You were screaming, in labor, gave birth 22 minutes after you arrived at the hospital after he dragged his feet to get you there and he's on the phone making fun of you? Calling you hysterical?
When he is the one who acted like a giant baby when your mom came at your request? Throw the whole husband away. Seriously you are never going to have a partner from this moment on. Just have a grown a@! adult baby.
DUMP HIM. I’m sorry you reproduced with such a LOSER. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER than him.