'AITA for asking my mom to leave my daughter's wedding?' 'She was flirting with every man there.'

"AITA for asking my mom to leave my daughter's wedding?"

My (50F) daughter (28F) recently married a great guy in a beautiful, large, formal evening ceremony at a historical estate. She and her husband are both lawyers and they could afford this wedding, although her dad and I helped pay for some of it.

The bride and groom asked all their family members to wear black or navy blue clothing. The bridal party was all in shades of turquoise. The event was black tie, so men were in tuxes and women wore elegant evening wear. It was a beautiful, classy affair.

My mother (68) just recently finalized her 4th divorce and is on the hunt for hubby #5. She has had plenty of obvious plastic surgery and spray tans and has always been a heavy makeup person and flamboyant dresser, with sometimes questionable taste in revealing outfits.

She and I shopped together and she fell in love with a low-backed, deep navy blue sequined gown that showed off her figure and was very elegant. (Mine was a fitted black beaded gown--I am a personal trainer and fitness model, so I can pull it off.) Mom looked stunning in the navy dress, especially with her tan and flowing platinum locks.

Well, she shows up at the wedding in a white and silver beaded short bodysuit with lots of fringe and cleavage--and when I say short, I'm thinking a risqué Beyoncé or Tina Turner stage costume, but leaving nothing to the imagination--think fringe over a silver thong.

Mom was sashaying around and flirting with every man there, even rubbing her hips and hands against the men. This is before the ceremony. She was the center of attention, and not in a good way. She had talked the bartender into giving her a few early tequila shots which only amped up her behavior.

My husband and I asked her to change into her blue gown--he offered to go to the hotel and get it, but she yelled at him for being a "stick in the mud" and started creating a scene. Somebody texted a photo of her to the bride and the maid of honor came out to see and told me the bride was horrified. So I decided to act.

I got the venue security guy (he was wearing a suit, not a uniform) and tried to talk to Mom discretely. I asked her to change or leave. She started rubbing the security guy and he took her by the arm and escorted her out. I grabbed her purse for her, and called Uber to take her back to the hotel.

She threw a total fit outside and the security guy called the police when she kicked him. She spit at and kicked the police officer who was trying to handcuff her. It's all on body cam. It was ugly, as some guests were arriving and saw it all. But she went to jail and couldn't come back for more disruption, or so we thought.

My aunt (Mom's sister, 71) and her husband got all bent out of shape and said I was being an AH because Mom was dressed in the wrong color. My aunt is a lot like my mom, but at least she was appropriately dressed and wasn't feeling up the men at the party. But they started getting horsey, so I asked them to leave, too. They did.

We were able to get everybody, including the bride, calmed down and the ceremony and reception went beautifully. My daughter didn't show any stress and seemed to be having a good time when, late in the evening, my aunt, uncle and mother showed up--they had bailed her out of jail!

They also stopped at a bar on the way back. She and my aunt were sloppy drunk and started tossing drinks on people and trying to get to the bride and groom. Venue security had seen them come in and already called the police, so it wasn't long before the 3 of them were arrested and hauled off with various charges. So that pretty much blew the evening.

Several people on my mother's side of the family, who were there, are now criticizing me for this whole thing. My daughter's cousin, who was a bridesmaid, is even stirring up trouble. My mom isn't speaking to me (which is fine) and my aunt has declared war on me.

My whole family is pretty classless--I was able to overcome a lot in life, but even some folks on my father's side are blaming me for even inviting my mother. She's never done anything like this, so how would I know?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MaxieRhoads said:

Honestly, you did what you had to do to protect your daughter's special day sounds like your mom crossed the line big time!

judgingA-holes said:

NTA - NO ONE wears white to a wedding that isn't a bride, unless the bride has asked as part of their wedding colors. Anyone who shows up in white or doesn't meet the dress code requirements, and she clearly didn't, should be asked to leave.

Accurate_Prompt_8800 said:

NTA. Where do I even start - your mum was touching people without their consent, getting drunk updressing the bride and making a scene - she crossed the line big time. I wouldn’t even talk to her after that fiasco.

Emotional-Hair-1607 said:

NTA. Get her mug shot and the body cam footage of her arrest and send it to her when she sobers up and tell her this is why she's never invited to anything again.

HeavenlyHeights79 said:

NTA - that does sound like a situation where you had to prioritize the wedding, and it's not fair to your mom to make such a special day about ruining it. You did what you could to keep the classiness of the day intact. Family drama is never easy, but you needed to stand up for your daughter there-especially when tequila's involved.

Ok_Stable7501 said:

NTA. But I want to hear more stories about your mom and her many marriages.