'AITA for asking my sister to move out?' 'She lied about being financially independent.'
"AITA for asking my sister to move out after she lied about being financially independent?"
I (30M) have been living alone for several years, and I love my privacy. About six months ago, my younger sister (24F) asked if she could stay with me for a while. She was moving to the city for work and needed a place to stay temporarily until she could afford her own apartment.
Since we get along well, I agreed to let her stay. I told her she could stay rent-free for a few months as long as she contributed to household chores and helped out where needed.
Everything was going fine for the first few months, but I started to notice some troubling patterns. She wasn't really looking for a job, despite saying she was actively seeking one. She'd spend all day watching TV or hanging out with friends, and then at night, she'd say she was “still figuring things out.”
I started paying attention to her finances and discovered that, despite claiming to be broke and living off savings, she had been buying expensive clothes and going out for drinks with friends almost every weekend.
I confronted her about it, and she told me she was "just having a rough time" and promised to start being more responsible with her money. A few weeks later, I found out she had bought a new phone without telling me, which was a bit too much considering she had been asking me for money to cover her bills.
At this point, I felt like I was being taken advantage of. She was not living up to her end of the agreement, and I was doing all the work in the house. I told her that I needed her to either start paying rent or move out, as I couldn't keep supporting her like this. She got really upset and accused me of being selfish and not caring about her.
My family has been split on this. Some say I’m being too harsh and should give her more time, while others agree that I’m being responsible and she should start taking more responsibility. AITA for asking my sister to move out after she lied about being financially independent?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
AnnaChasesStars said:
NTA. It's not your responsibility to financially support her indefinitely, especially when she's not making any effort to become independent.
oldandworking said:
NTA, you were an enabler but you got smart to her plan.
rayanmores said:
NTA. You gave your sister a generous, rent-free opportunity to get on her feet, but she took advantage of your kindness by not actively seeking work or contributing as agreed. Expecting accountability and setting boundaries is fair, especially since her actions show a lack of responsibility. Family pressure aside, you're not obligated to enable her behavior indefinitely.
vtretiree23 said:
NTA . Only thing you should have done differently is getting the agreement in writing. Do so now with clear boundaries and enforce them. Any disagreeing family should be thanked for taking her in and send her packing to them.
murphy2345678 said:
The people saying give her more time should be told “thank you for agreeing to let her live with you! You obviously think someone else should pay her bills and your generosity is appreciated!” Watch them change their tune! NTA.
Organic_Acadia_1098 said:
NTA. While you work pay bills take care of the house. She spends money foolishly and won't get a job. You did the right thing she is a leech don't believe her crocodile tears, or your family's pressure she is conning them too. She is an adult should be paying her way and needs to know her actions or lack of them have consequences. Pack her bags and change the locks