Woman begs sister to stop loudly using her 'baby voice' when calling long-distance boyfriend, is accused of jealousy. AITA?
"AITA for asking my sister to use her normal voice tone when she's talking with her boyfriend?"
Evening_Surround_646
I (F30) rent an apartment with my sister, Millie (F25). Millie is in a long-term relationship. Her partner lives abroad and while she visits him often (usually once per 1-2 months for at least a week), obviously they don't spend together as much time as they would want to.
They plan to move in together, but it will take another 1-2 years to take care of all formalities. Thus, Millie and her partner call each other on videochat and talk for few hours per day.
Which itself is problematic - we have separate rooms but also very thin walls, so I hear her talking non stop. But I get it, she miss her boyfriend, so I don't comment on it and do my best to not to overhear too much.
But. Millie keeps using her Very Special Kind Of Voice when she's talking with her boyfriend. You know, the very sweet, cutesy voice, where you misarticulate some words on purpose.
She also uses a lot of nicknames like "cootie-papootie" or "honeybear" (well, their equivalents in my language, but you catch my drift). I don't know if she does it ironically or not and I don't really mind, as it's not my business - but from what I gather, she does not use it ironically, but really thinks that it's cute.
But it drives me crazy. Whenever I hear this very specific kind of voice it's like nails on a blackboard for me. And she uses it. Few. Hours. Per. Day. Every. Single. Day. I tried to ignore it, just like I ignore hours-long phone calls, but I cant - this kind of voice literally makes me agressive and physically unwell.
So, I asked her if she may please tone it down, or at least not use it all the time. I didn't demand it and tried to be pleasant - I tried to explain that it annoys me and I cannot concentrate on work (I work from home) or doing anything else when I keep hearing it.
She says that I'm a jealous asshole and I've no right to comment on the way she's speaking. Which, most of the time I'd agree with her, but then again - she talks like this every day for hours. Also, I'm not jealous of her relationship - I've my own partner with whom I'm pretty happy. So, I was pretty sure that I am in the right.
But when I talked about it with our mum and she says that I should leave Millie alone as "she's not as sociable as me and we should be happy that she has someone to talk to".
Well, it is a fact that Millie is very socially anxious and for a long time she hadn't had any friends/partners except of me and my family - so maybe my mother is right and I should ignore this inconvenience for her mental health's sake? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
BigBigBigTree
YTA. If you think she's speaking too loudly, it's fair to ask her to speak more quietly. Beyond that, you don't get to have any say in how she talks to people who aren't you.
otisandme
YTA if this annoyance makes you feel physically unwell, you need to deal with that. Some kind of anxiety or something is happening. I would find her voice annoying too but it wouldn’t make me physically unwell.
Since you work from home, you need to look into some soundproofing. Figure out what you can do to minimize other sounds. Noise cancelling headphones? Materials or padding in your room? Rugs if you have hard floors? Read up on what you can do so that you can work in a quiet work area.
ZookeepergameOk1354
YTA. You need to deal with your own issues.
RaineMist
YTA. You don't get to dictate how she talks with her boyfriend in her own room. If it bothers you that much, shut your bedroom door or get earphones. Play music if it's going to help.
HandrewJobert
Sorry, but YTA. Her behavior does sound annoying, but it's her home too.