'AITA for attacking my almost BIL with wedding cake when he tried to prank the bride?'
"AITA for attacking my almost BIL with wedding cake when he tried to prank the bride?"
Some pre context: When I say almost BIL, it is because my sister dumped him over this and due to some paperwork issues my sister and her fiance didn't get the marriage license in time for the big day. I don't have the details on how this happened.
So they decided to go according to plan: have the party, photoshoots etc just as if they had the legal ceremony. They would then go to the courthouse when everything was in order. Everybody thought that was a good idea since many had to travel to the wedding.
Now to the issue: the groom loves harmful pranks. My sister not at all. Groom have been sparing her for the most part and just does it with his family and his equal minded friends. But she is terrified of the smash the bride with wedding cake prank. He has promised not to.
She even brought it up on the rehearsal dinner and made him promise infront of everyone there. He swore he wouldn't ruin the wedding. Key point here: he argues he hasn't broken any promises because this wasn't a real wedding.
Que to the cake cutting. She is in full wedding glam. Dress, hair, makeup. 4 hours of sitting in a chair being prodded and so very happy with the look. He grabs her by the neck and tries to push her into the cake. She fights so hard, twists away but he has her hair, yells for him to stop, calls for help and security.
I run up to them yelling as well. I push the cake table away so he cannot smash her bent over self into the cake. He now has to drag her a few feet towards the table. He just laughs and wont stop.
A few people are shouting at him to stop as well given how much force he is having to use. I pick up the top layer of the cake and smash it, including the little plate that apparently was between the cake-levels, over his head. He lets my sister go and it is completely silent in the room.
He yells at me and I answer with it is only a funny prank when you aren't the victim? When you are covered in cake it is suddenly a major thing? then I cussed him out over breaking promises, being a violent POS and he should be ashamed.
My sister is crying and her hair is ruined. Unfortunately I got some cake on her veil. She hugged me, thanking me for saving her and told security who finally came up to remove the groom. We got her settled, with a tequila and right now she and mum are on the honeymoon.
Groom left a bunch of messages about overreacting, being unable to have a laugh, couldn't be with someone who lets a violent 'witch' attack him. Apparently the cake plate cut his scull.
She posted all the recordings to the wedding chat and told them that she hoped everyone had a good time, but they were never going to get married to groom. After getting dumped he pressed charges on me, but the venue had cameras and I got a lot of back up. Sister is considering suing him back.
Some people say I could have stopped him with a slice not an entire level of cake. That I shouldn't have yelled and cussed. That my reaction is the reason that Sister left him.
I gave her a place to go, some backup with not accepting the prank. If we had just let him, there wouldn't be a problem. I totally disagree, but I am very BIASED here, and it would be reassuring to have complete outsiders say something. Thank you.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Absolutely NTA! He obviously does not respect your sister or anyone for that matter. Your sister told him her expectations and boundaries and he chose to go against that. The fact that he cannot put himself in another person's/his fiance's shoes is insane. You did what you had to do in the moment to protect your sister. If she is hurt because he was forceful, do consider that lawsuit.
NTA. You stood up for your sister while she was being abused. Physical abuse is not funny. Full Stop. Anyone who said or says you should have "just let it happen" is an enabler and not a friend. Tell them to think about those words.
And yes, it's all his fault; none of it is yours - you were the only one to react to stop it rather than just saying something. You're a hero! You likely saved your sister from a horrible marriage.
You are the best sibling anyone can have. 🙂🙃
NTA. You protected her in that moment, but I honestly wonder what other things you saved her from down the road if that AH gets so "focused" on his own "fun" and can be that violent/physical with someone he claims to love. Very painful situation for many, but OP I think you rescued your sister from more than cake.
He attacked her and continued the assault when she fought to get free. I see what you did as defending someone. He is lucky he didn't end up with a knee to the balls in self defense. NTA.
The SECOND she started to resist him he should have stopped. According to your post, he was pulling/pushing her by her hair. She called for help AND security. That's assault. If he thought assault was just a harmless prank, imagine their wedded life.
You saved her AND gave him a taste of his own medicine. You're 100% right that when it was done to him, he had a problem. And your info about the follow up shows he has no remorse. Thank gawd the wedding license was delayed.
NTA. Your sister dodged a bullet. That guy is the real jerk here and I hope your sister presses charges on him for his assault on her. You were just defending your sister.
he’s a sensitive coward who got what he deserved. idk who told him he was untouchable but i’m glad he got a taste of his own medicine. maybe he should’ve taken it as a joke like he expected his fiancé to do so.