Woman calls out aunt for 'horrific' comments to family's children after funeral. AITA?
"AITA for telling my aunt that her the reason none of her nieces or nephews like her is because of all her comments after a funeral?"
Impressive_Shine_951
I (21F) come from a huge family where I have many cousins ranging from 25years old to 7. One thing all my cousins and I have in common is that we all dislike this aunt (56) who we will call “E”.
E has a horrible habit of commenting on the bodies of myself and all of my cousins. Today was a bad day for my family because we had to go to a funeral for an uncle and because of this a lot of the family were in formal wear.
All day today E has been making comments about everyone. For some context she looked at the 7 year old and told her she should’ve worn a skirt that reached her ankles because she has horrible cankles. She told a male cousin of mine who was crying to “man up and wipe his tears away” because he was embarrassing her by crying.
And she told me that I should’ve worn leggings with my dress because you could see all the scars on my legs with the one I was wearing. (I was in a bad accident a year and a half ago and it left me with large patches of scars that I’m not insecure about).
This all boiled over when we were at my parents house tonight and she was talking with my mother and her other sisters and decided to tell them that they needed to tell their children to go on diets and exercise or we would become obese.
I will admit I snapped and yelled at her that she needs to get a life and get a grip on herself and that she should realize that none of her nieces and nephews love her, that her own children just barely tolerate her, that her making comments every time she’s around people and trying to put them down makes everyone hate her.
She started bawling her eyes out when I said that and I was told by my mother that I was extremely disrespectful to tell her that when we had literally just left her brothers funeral.
My cousins are all on my side that I was right to say it but I’m getting messages that I was an AH for telling her that on the day of her brothers funeral. So AITA for telling her that none of her nieces and nephews love her after the funeral?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
gerogeroneko212
NTA, sounds like your aunt has had this coming for a long time. She has been disrespectful for a long time, and everyone in the family let it go on to long. Obviously the older members aren't gonna set her straight so you and the cousins should call her out every time she talks badly about someone. NTA, and good on you for standing up to her!
Shutupandplayball
NTA - from your post, it sounds like she does this a lot, so it’s not as if she’s just having a bad day because of her brother’s funeral. It is not okay for her to criticize everyone/hurt their feelings and everyone should just put up with it.
I had an uncle who made horrible comments about my sister’s weight but ignored his own huge belly. After he made another comment, I had finally had enough (and a couple of glasses of wine), reached over, patted his belly quite hard and said, ”you’ve no room to talk, Tubby.”
My Dad spit out his beer, Mama’s mouth dropped, and my Uncle never commented on my sister again. Sometimes, folks need to be reminded to keep their lip zipped.
ChickenPale907
NTA. You only told the truth, her comments are incredibly cruel and unnecessary. Telling someone you are embarrassed by them because they are crying at a family funeral and making fun of car accident scars? That is beyond unacceptable and horrible. I'm shocked someone has not snapped at her sooner. She deserved everything you said and more.
GothPenguin
Sorry for your loss and so NTA. You gave her toxicity a hard wake up slap Into reality.
longblackdick9998
NTA. She had it coming, funeral or no. Maybe harsh words will make her rethink her cruel comments. Plus, who body-shames at a funeral?
snackexultant
NTA, sorry but if you’re in the wrong for calling her out at a funeral she’s in the wrong for body shaming literal minors AT A FUNERAL. She’s clearly devastated if she has the mental space to be a judgemental person.
Needmoresnakes
NTA. If your comments were inappropriate because of the timing then hers are twice over. Everyone was mourning a loved one. She cruelly insulted literal children and young adults in her family for things they cannot control.
She was then admonished for her behaviour that she absolutely can and should control. I don't get many chances to use cutesy southern sayings so I'm going for it: don't start none, won't be none.
Malibucat48
Tell your mother that it was at her brother’s funeral that your aunt insulted every relative she has. And she even told one person not to cry. At the funeral! She needed to hear it sooner, but your relatives need to know that the cousins are sick of it and won’t tolerate her anymore.
And the next time she says anything, no matter where it is, make sure everyone tells her the same thing. It’s funny how when bullies are confronted for their bullying, they cry and pull the poor me card. Good for you.
Mammoth_Piglet_3063
NTA. If you spoke to her at a birthday party, then you would have been accused of spoiling an otherwise happy event. If you waited until the next day and gone to see her just to talk about it, then you would have been accused of stirring up trouble when she wasn't bothering anyone.
She was not the only one grieving. Everyone there was grieving. If she was ever going to show some sympathy for other people's feelings, it should have been then. Instead, she made a horrible situation worse for everyone. Because of you, that might not happen again.