Birthday dinner guest speaks up over splitting the bill evenly, 'why should I fund your alcohol obsession?' AITA?

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"AITA? Splitting the bill at friend's birthday..."

Went to a birthday dinner last week, and I can’t stop thinking about it. There were about 12 of us, and we were all joined together by 3 tables of 4 seats. All ordering à la carte — nothing crazy, just mains and soft drinks.

But then, this one group of 4, whom I didn’t know, started going all out. They got rounds of raw oysters to start, then bottles of alcohol, and were just adding stuff to the tab like it was Monopoly money. Didn’t think much of it, until the bill came.

One of them quickly suggested we just split it evenly. Now, I’m all for making things simple, but my meal was about $25. Why am I paying about $50 to cover their seafood and expensive drinks? So I told them it’s not really fair, either they settle alcohol on a separate bill or we just each pay for our meals. That’s when things got awkward.

They started saying it was too difficult to work out and they blamed me for making a scene and it’s our friend’s birthday so I shouldn’t be complaining. Like, sorry, but since when does celebrating someone’s birthday mean I have to fund your oyster/alcohol obsession?

The birthday girl was on my side but the other 4 weren’t having it. So I gave up in the end as I didn’t want to cause her any upset and paid the bill shared equally, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. If you want to ball out at dinner, cool—but don’t expect everyone else to cover it. AITA for speaking up?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

AltruisticValuable26 said:

NTA. Those folks are sh--^ for doing that. If it were to increase your bill by a couple bucks, probably not worth the hassle of split tickets. But doubling it? Insane. Having other people subsidize their lavish meal and drinks and using the birthday gathering to manipulated people into paying it. Yikes.

WolverineOk4248 said:

NTA. Next time ignore them and ask the server for your bill, leaving a share for birthday girl. They relied on people not making a scene.

bobhand17123 said:

NTA. Would it have been cheaper for you to just pay for yourself and the birthday girl, and let the splitters split the rest? Yours is not the first post like this, and every time I get so second hand aggravated.

redlips_rosycheeks said:

NTA - and the next time you’re in a similar situation, say “I ordered what I was comfortable paying for - I expected everyone to do the same. I don’t feel comfortable being taken advantage of, or bullied into doing something I don’t want to.” This usually takes the wind out of the loudest sails.

uTop-Artichoke5020 said:

NTA. I really hate people who do this. I tend to order the more expensive meals when we go out, I always throw in more than my share. I suggest that if you find yourself in their company again, you ask for separate checks from the start.

hydraheads said:

NTA. The world needs more people like you.