'AITA for blocking my twin because she tried to sleep with my fiancé.' + Update
"AITA for blocking my twin because she tried to sleep with my fiancé."
Cute_ginger_2
For context my twin and I are identical twins but different heights due to childhood illness. I am shorter and more petit due to the illness but a healthy 28(F) adult. My fiancé(29M) is now my husband.
Backstory my twin and I already had a complicated relationship due to her not respecting boundaries, expecting me to be available whenever she wanted and having hissy fits any time I spent time with my own friends. But then canceling our plans an hour after we were supposed to meet to spend time with her friends.
This was a continual ongoing issue throughout our whole lives. I should be available to her 110% of the time, hate any friends I made, hate any guy I dated, I should only want to be with her. Cue in my husband. My husband is an amazing, patient, handsome , fun loving man.
I could not ask for a better life partner. When we started dating my twin reacted to him like all of my exs (interrogated him, assumed he was going to be bad news for (x number of reasons), hostile, etc...to clarify my husband is NOT bad news.
My husband, knowing that being close to my family is REALLY important to me, did his best efforts to get my twins approval. He jumped through all of the hoops and trials, and even made friends (or so we thought) with my twin.
He is now also really close with my parents and grandparents and sees them regularly even if I am at work. My twin is also married (was engaged at the time) so we thought nothing of her now being friendly with my husband.
One evening while my husband and my twin were hanging out (roommates at the time/seperate bedrooms) they had a good chat about life. When they went to hug goodnight my twin pressed her chest on my husband (said "I appreciate what we have, "whatever this is") and tried to kiss him.
My husband rejected her advances and then called me immediately afterwards (I was at work). I tried asking my twin what happened for context and she just gaslit me about it.
Days and weeks following that night she started telling everyone that my husband is a pervert. And she has also created more rumors since (we don't live together anymore).
She also had a meltdown right before my wedding and has been super petty since. I have now blocked her because she refuses to apologize for trying to sleep with my husband and spreading rumors. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
nylonvest
She's taking her time but eventually she'll think to say to you "I was testing him, I wanted to make sure he wouldn't cheat on you. He passed!"
ExcitingTabletop
OP needs to learn to stop putting her husband in awkward situations. It's OP's mess to fix, and that'll start with distancing from said twin. Blocking is a good start. Next is telling everyone what happened, history of similar occurrences, and warning everyone not to act as sister's flying monkeys. If twin never faces any consequences for being a terrible sister, why would she bother changing?
the-juicy-dangler
NTA I hope the things she said about your husband have not caused him trouble, out of respect for him I’d never speak to her again tbh. It’s also so weird because the identical twins I have known have mostly wanted to be respected as individuals, not be super embedded or trying to steal each others lives, what did her husband say?
antbeesknees
NTA for blocking your sister but YTA for not doing it sooner.
Petefriend86
YTA for letting your twin interrogate and accuse every person you've ever dated, but not for blocking her now.
WinterFront1431
Your sister has been toxic since day one, and you allowed it. Cut her out for good. No accepting apologies. too much damage is done. Personally, if you were my partner and you forgave your sister after her, inappropriately coming on to me and then spreading lies, I'd divorce you in a heartbeat. Tell your family, and gatherings she is in you will not be.
The OP then updated.
Cute_ginger_2
Updates: the people asking about her husband's thoughts on it. My twin essentially has told her husband, "nothing happened" that she did not hit on my husband, that my husband is lying, etc.
Her husband believes her and is also pushing the rumors that my husband is a pedo, etc. Her husband spent so much time trying to trash talk my husband at the family get together that different individuals asked them to stop talking about my husband and I because they were getting so annoyed.
It's also how my husband and I found out about the rumors. None of my other siblings believe or agree with the rumors that my twin and husband have spewed. Honestly, the only people still defending my twin and her husband's actions are my parents.
Other update: I have definitely cut my twin and her husband out of my life (this is more of a vent post). For those asking about setting boundaries prior to this block. I had already had many arguments with my twin about her behaviour and how I was done with it.
She continually stepped over those boundaries. The final straw was her trying to sleep with my husband. I had asked her multiple times over the phone (with already limited contact) to apologize to him.
During the family get together it was a final hail marry to get her to admit to her shit and apologize, which she did not. Lead to an official absolute block. Only to find out about the rumors afterwards. Despite this my parents want to try and mend things with my twin. Which is an absolute no, on mine and my husband's end.