'AITA for wearing a blush-colored wedding dress that matched the bride?' UPDATED

"AITA for wearing a dress that matched the bride?"

I recently attended my SILs wedding. We've always gotten on well when we've been at family gatherings but we don't really stay in touch outside of that. I bought a new dress for the wedding, which I thought was just normal formalwear, I actually found it on Pinterest when searching for "wedding guest" outfits.

It's almost floor length and blush pink. Not white with a bit of blush, but like, obviously pink, so I thought this was totally fine and not breaking any etiquette rules. It had spaghetti straps and wasn't too "poofy" if you know what I mean.

We get to the wedding, sit in the ceremony space, the brides walks down the aisle.... in a blush wedding dress with spaghetti straps. She literally gives me daggers and what made the situation worse was that we both had our hair down in a similar style (I threw mine up in a bun for the reception after seeing her hair) and we both have the same shade of red hair. It was almost comical.

After the wedding the whole family have been super cold with me and a cousin has told me I was TA for clearly trying to upstage the bride, and that I should have avoided blush because it's an "obvious" bridal color. The family seem to think I did this deliberately because I'd been upset that I hadn't been invited to the bridal shower or bachelorette and had been feeling a bit excluded.

I was upset at the time, but this was not deliberate sabotage. I honestly felt like it was just an awkward accident but NAH, but I'm now wondering if I was a bit oblivious and should have known that blush was also a no-go color for wedding guests. So, AITA?!

What do you think? AITA?! This is what top commenters had to say:

Legitimate_Essay_221 said:

If a bride is wearing anything but white and doesn’t want to be upstaged she needs to let people know. People aren’t mind readers. NTA.

[deleted] said:

If she never told you specifically not to wear that color, I don't see how this was intentional. I have also never heard of "blush" being a bridal color.

OP responded:

I hadn't either, but then the friend I ranted to said that it was no longer unusual and the the rule should now be "don't wear white or blush"?! I clearly didn't get the memo.

Kirin2013 said:

NTA. How the hell where you supposed to know what the bride was wearing? Pink isn't Ivory or white. Since when was blush a wedding dress color?

Efficient-Magician61 said:

NTA. Blush isn’t a “bridal” color. Brides wear white. If you’re going to wear something other than white, you have to let people know lmao.

whaddyamean11 said:

I think we need to see a pic to see how close to white this really was.

OP responded:

I bought it last year and can't find the exact one now, but this is pretty close, just different strap situation and shorter. https://i.pinimg.com/564x/12/c2/b6/12c2b683826f473ff823c03775378009.jpg

whaddyamean11 responded:

Ok after seeing color, NTA

She later shared this update on the situation:

I just told DH about this post as an "I told you so" that I was NTA and how it was impossible for me to have known...

He just told me that they think I did know, and the chain went SIL > MIL > DH (her brother) as apparently he'd been told it wasn't white, but he didn't tell me that as he thought it wasn't info worth sharing. He has a habit of not passing on info that other people would expect him to, such as family members being ill, break ups etc.

He told MIL that he didn't even remember about the dress being blush so couldn't have told me, and they seem to think he's just lying to cover for me. This is all news to me, because if I'd known I would have immediately understood why SIL was so shocked/upset. FFS.

Thank you for all the comments everyone, I'm glad I wasn't TA when it came to the dress choice, but it seems clear that I do now need to approach SIL and apologise either way.