Woman asks if she'd be wrong to confront coworker about affair with boss.
What do you do if one of your coworker's is sleeping with your boss? When this woman finds out that her coworker is cheating on their husband, she takes to the popular Reddit forum to ask:
'WIBTA if I confronted my Co-Worker about her relationship with our boss?'
I (28F) have been working for a company for just around 5 years, I earn pretty good pay and have a good team; everyone gets along (for the most part).
Now, around a year ago we had a new member join our team, I'll call her S for privacy. S was 33, married with 2 children. From the few times she's talked about her marriage it's been on the rocks for years but they're only together for their children.
I get along well with S, as does everyone working there, which is why I'm debating confronting her as I don't want to affect our relationship or my space on the team.
We usually finish at some point in the evening. Well, as I'd left the building to catch the bus I realised relatively quickly I left my phone inside. (My phone had my money inside for the bus) Everyone had left at this point so I figured I'd head inside, grab it and *hopefully not miss my bus.
Well, when I walked in I could hear giggling and whispers... I totally freaked. It was dark, I thought I was the only one inside the building and could hear whispers and giggles. It felt like I was in a horror movie or something.
I didn't want to look around, but didn't want to take 10 minutes stumbling around and miss my bus. When I reached my desk I saw S and my boss (M) getting it on in his office (the lights were on), needless to say, I grabbed my shit and left.
=*Honestly, I wouldn't bat an eyelid if she were single, but she isn't. She's married with 2 children. My boss is divorced, but should (in my opinion) know better.
I was pretty awkward at work the next day but realised the odd amount of promotions S has been getting in a small amount of time. (Keep in mind, my co-workers and I have only had 1, 3 at most promotions of our whole time there. I've had 1, S has had about 4 within the last 2 months).
It doesn't seem like a lot, and I'm not the type to pry about how much she's now on, but I'd assume it's plenty.
I do really like S, and my boss has been amazing with me throughout, but keeping it to myself may do more damage than good. I know if I were to bring it up, I'd most-likely lose my job, lose S and M as friends and would totally lose respect in the workplace. I just don't know what to do, so...WIBTA?
Let's see what Reddit had to say.
associaterogue writes:
NTA.She is married and it sounds like she's receiving some favoritism out of the relationship. Those are good enough reasons to confront them. However you might be right about the potential consequences for your job and friendships.
That being said, you could try to bring it up out of a supportive position.
Like 'Hey S I saw you and M the other night and I don't want you to be at risk, if your husband finds out he could use it against you, you gotta be more careful'
That way it's incredibly clear that you know they have this relationship going on, and you're not the bad guy telling them they're wrong for it, let their own consciences do that.
They should be able to take the queue that they need to keep it out of the work place and be careful not to get into legal trouble from it like getting sued for the favoritism she's been shown.
loveburts writes:
YTA to yourself.
What do you hope to gain by bringing it up to the co-worker who is benefiting from the arrangement? Do you expect her to resign, stop sleeping her way to the top or apologize to you for some reason?
As you've already pointed out, you have nothing to gain my confronting her and everything to lose. Even if you reported your boss to his chain of command, that could blow up in your face because they'd both just deny it.
sead186tr writes:
NTA but you should tell your HR. If you saw them on a date somewhere public I might say it’s none of your business. However they’re hooking up at the office is highly inappropriate and since you unfortunately witnessed it you are within your rights to say that they made you uncomfortable.