Woman discovers fiancé’s obsession with her sister just weeks before their wedding date. AITA?
"AITA if I break up with my fiancé 2 weeks before our wedding?"
Myrealife
So I’ve never posted on Reddit before so sorry if I’m no good at story telling, I’m 21 F and my fiancé is 24 M we shall call him Kevin. Kevin and I grew up complete different he come from a lavish background with a massive family house.
He went to a private school and was honestly spoilt rotten. I, on the other hand, grew up on a council estate. A two bedroom flat for 6 people wasn’t ideal really. I went to a public school, which is perfectly fine ( n my opinion, I think private schools are silly but that’s just me.) Well, getting to the point, Kevin and I got engaged in July of last year. Our wedding is supposed to be October 11th.
Yesterday, I had a lovely night out with my friends and my partner Kevin was looking after our 3 year old daughter Olivia. I was texting him like normal when his reply’s went dry and he told me he was at my dad's house.
I thought nothing of it and carried on about my night. When I got home at 12:30pm, he was still not home. I gave him a ring and he said he was in a Uber. This was weird because his car wasn’t home and he always drives everywhere.
Anyway, he gets home and he has clearly taken something. His pupils were massive and he was going on about how he really couldn’t wait for us to finally get married. He then said he thinks it would be a good idea if my sister moved in with us and left my dad's house so he could have some years to himself.
I thought this was so odd as why would my sister ever move in with us as we are a family and yes my sister is my family but when you grow up you want to start your own family if that makes sense.
Well, he kept acting weird, so I put Olivia to bed and just went about my evening routine. When I come back to the living room, he was scrolling his phone and, soon after, he just passed out. So, I did what any other self respecting queen would do and I snooped through that snake's phone. You would never even imagine what I found.
My fiance is stalking my sister, or even worse, praying on her. I have no idea. I couldn't have ever imagined this would happen. My sister is 20, for context. I just can’t believe this.
I don’t even know what to do. His instagram search was entirely for her accounts. He’s liked all her photos, he had an ALBUM with her name and screenshotted photos he had taken. This is so creepy. I have no idea what to do. What I should do. I’m completely heart broken.
The worst part is they do talk. I don’t know if I’m missing parts, I’ve seen the texts but it’s like they’ve half been deleted as none of them have any context and make no sense.
He said things like "have a good evening" and then she said “keep it between us, we can’t spoil the suprise.“ My brain is trying to tell me it’s a suprise about the wedding but I highly doubt it.
I feel so betrayed I have no idea what I’m going to do. I honestly can’t cope anymore. How could he do this to me and with my sister? I have no solid evidence but my mind is in pieces. I haven’t confronted him yet because I know what he’s like and I don’t feel like taking the blame for this right now.
I found underwear in his trouser pocket. It’s not mine. It is red frilly ones. Honestly, I’m so heart broken. We have a little girl. I can’t believe this. Are they my sister's? How do I confront this? I’m so baffled.
If we split up, I’ll have nothing. I’m not entitled to the house, it’s in his name. Most of the furniture I bought under his name :/ I’m a SAHM so I would be completely vulnerable.
I haven’t spoke to my dad yet eithe, as he favours my sister and would definitely take her word over anything. Honestly I need help; I’m not sure what to do. Would I be wrong to end the engagement now? Does anyone know any ways I could get some money back if I did cancel? I feel like I don’t even know Kevin.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
gemmygem86
No. End it now. And show your sister the proof.
J_Nic217
Move in the shadows... No, seriously. Collect every bit of evidence you can. Screenshot everything and send them to yourself. If you can, I suggest trying to get a job, because in order for you to move out, you need some sort of steady income that can support you and your daughter.
If you left today, where will you stay? Do you have anything with your name on it? Do you have anything you could to sell to keep your head above water until you become self-sufficient? Refund policies on vendors depend on what is stated in your contracts with them. I suggest you do that and see if it's possible two weeks before the wedding. TALK TO YOUR SISTER!!
Fraerie
Real talk - as difficult as it would be to break things off now, it would be much, much worse to try and break it off AFTER the wedding. The first thing I would do is get screenshots of what’s on his phone and save them to the cloud somewhere you can get to them.
Then go talk to your sister where you can look her in the eye and ask her what the story is. You need to know if he has been grooming her to believe she is doing something you want (like a Mormon wife situation), or if it’s something totally innocent like a surprise gift or dance or song for at the wedding, or if she is an active participant in cheating with him under you nose.
Once you have her side of the story, take notes and then go talk to him and see how things line up. Depending on where you live, the fact that you have a child together and have been living together may still justify an alimony and child support claim. You would need to talk to a lawyer.
delulu4drama
You deserve better. Don’t get married to this man please. It only gets harder when you are legally connected. He is a waving red flag 🚩. Best wishes to you. 💕