'AITA for breaking up with my GF because she said she'd cheat on me if I took a new job?'
"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she literally told me she would cheat on me if I took a new job?"
I know this is going to come across as first world problems. I am currently at a job where I earn about $250,000 a year. I have an opportunity for a job where I will get $640,000 a year.
The caveat being that the new job is overseas. I will be gone for four months at a time, for 2 years, instead of four weeks at a time like now.
My girlfriend is unhappy. She says that she doesn't want me gone for that long. That she will get lonely. I tried to explain that I will only be doing this job for one or two years. And that the money I make sets us up for a bright future. We can pay off all out debts. We can buy a house. We can travel on my off time.
She then said that she doesn't care about any of that and that if I'm gone for that long she might need company. I didn't understand at first and I said that we could get the dog she has been wanting to get.
She said she meant human company. I said that she had lots of company at work and at school and she was welcome to use our place to socialize all she wanted. She then spelled it out because I was stupid to think she was a decent human. She said that she wasn't going to go for months without __x. I said I completely understood and broke up with her.
She is going crazy right now. She is at her sister's house and calling me and texting constantly. She says that I misunderstood and that she would never cheat on me. Like I said I'm gone for a month at a time now so I'm pretty sure she's been "lonely" before. I can't trust her and I'm not going to try and build a future with someone who can't think about plans.
Info from OP:
I don't need $600,000. I would like to set myself up for life with this on my resume. I would like to do a great job at this and move onto other interesting and challenging projects.
MY GF is physically attractive. But I loved her for her intelligence.
I'll be in Finland in the high Arctic. I am a project manager. In construction. Nearest town is 200 miles away. I will be working somewhere with high security and no outsiders. She can't come. I will be in a camp. They don't allow spouses.
I'm 31 she's 29. Together two years.
I have a mortgage, a car payment and student loans. She has student loans. I planned to pay off her loans. I honestly thought it was an amazing opportunity for us to do something most people our age don't get to do.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Finally, someone who believes the person when they tell them exactly who they are.
Trash took itself out...
Nope, not the a-hole. You're better off without someone who threatens to cheat on you because you're pursuing a better opportunity. It sounds like you dodged a bullet.
NTA. Either she genuinely meant what she said and she'd cheat or she tried to emotionally manipulate you. Either way, she showed you her true colors and its great that you walked away. Congrats on your new opportunity.
Bro for $600K I'd be faithful to you! 😂