Bride accuses her sister of 'ruining' her wedding, 'she's demanding I invite her ex.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister she’s ruining my wedding by demanding I invite her ex?"
So, my wedding is coming up in a few weeks, and it’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I (28F) have been planning it for months with my fiancé (30M). Everything is coming together—except for my sister (26F).
A bit of backstory: my sister and her ex, Jake, had been together for several years. They broke up about six months ago, and it was pretty messy. She was devastated, and I’ve been there for her through all of it. I understand that she’s still struggling, and I’ve tried my best to be supportive.
The problem started when she told me she wanted me to invite Jake to my wedding. I was taken aback because, well, things ended badly between them, and she’s clearly not over it. I told her from the start that I wasn’t comfortable inviting him, especially since it was such a painful breakup for her. She seemed okay with that at first, but then she started pushing me harder.
She said it wasn’t fair for her to pretend everything is fine and that I was being insensitive to her feelings. I tried explaining that this is my wedding, and I want it to be a day focused on joy, not uncomfortable situations. But she’s really upset now.
Then it escalated—she told me that if Jake wasn’t invited, she wouldn’t come to the wedding at all. She says it’s “too important” for her to have him there for closure. I get that she’s going through something tough, but this is my wedding, and I don’t want it overshadowed by old drama.
I’ve tried to be firm and said she could either come and respect my decision, or not come at all. But now she’s telling the rest of the family that I’m being selfish and that I’m prioritizing a wedding day over her emotional well-being. It’s tearing me up, but I really feel like I’m standing my ground.
I’m now questioning if I’m being too harsh. I know weddings are big, but it feels like she’s making this all about her, and it’s not the time or place to do that. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Lyzab77 said:
NTA. If she wants a closure, she calls him like an adult and have a last diner with him. Your wedding is not a place for her private dramas. Your in laws don't have to be witnesses of this!
She is disrespectful towards you, but she is more towards your fiancé, like it's not his big day too! It's not about YOUR family, it's about two families joining. Your sister make it about her. So, it's absolutely her right to not come to your wedding. But it will be her fault, not yours.
lovelyysabrina said:
NTA. It's your wedding, not the place for her to get closure. You've been supportive, but she's making it about her. Setting boundaries is okay, and if she chooses not to come, that's on her. You're not being selfish.
ElegantXIsabelle said:
NTA. It's your wedding, and you have the right to decide who attends.
New-Jellyfish6737 said:
NTA. And yes, you’re prioritizing your wedding and your happines over her childish drama. Tell her that you’re sorry she feels that way and that you will miss her. She made her choice, she will regret it later (and you definitely will if you invite him). Congrats on the wedding!
CaptainBeefy79 said:
NTA. She needs closure and the only time and place she can possibly get it is at your wedding? No, absolutely not. I appreciate that she’s going through a tough time and you feel the need to support her as a good sister, but what she is asking for is beyond unreasonable.
DawnShakhar said:
NTA. Your wedding is not the time for her to get closure, and she has no right to highjack your event for her emotional problems. You definitely should not agree to this crazy idea. If she wants to meet Jake to get closure, she will have to do it on her own time and place, not yours.
joeayala213 said:
NTA. Your wedding isn’t her therapy session, and Jake isn’t a plus-one or a magic cure for closure. She can heal without dragging her breakup baggage down the aisle. Tell her she can have her closure, just not at your wedding.