Bride makes wedding rules; asks bridesmaids to 'stick to their diets.' AITA?
"AITAH for these wedding rules? Our families gave up on us..."
Before y'all jump into any conclusions about how my fiancé needs to run away from me and how crazy I am and what a poor man he's for dealing with me, since y'all do it to every woman, let me clarify that these rules for the wedding were mutually agreed on by both me and my fiancé and many of them were his idea.
I'll list each rule and why people, including our families were against each one. Unplugged ceremony and reception until dinner is over and the dance party starts. That means no phones at all unless a very huge emergency.
People were ok with the ceremony part but they found the dinner part too much. Many of my parent friends also said that since they're leaving their kids at home they should be at least be granted a little grade to check their phone with their kids babysitters.
I said if I made an exception for them I'd have to make it for everyone so no. Unplugged means unplugged. Checking with your kids is not an emergency. If something serious happens you'll know.
Color scheme and strict dress code. All black color scheme and mandatory dresses for women and tuxedos for men. No pants allowed for women. I got reactions for this for two reasons.
One reason was that my aunt who's been mourning her dead husband for over 2 years just got rid of black clothes couple of months ago and tries to move on and claims wearing black makes her depressive.
Another issue was the mandatory dress as my husband's sister have body dysphoria and hates dresses on her and always wears pants. Again if we make an exception for two people we'll have to make an exception for everyone.
Bridesmaids diets. We've ordered the bridesmaids dresses months in advance. So they'll stay on the weight they are right now. If you're a bigger size do whatever is in your power to stay big. If you're skinny, quit fast food for few months and stay skinny.
If the dresses don't fit you we're gonna have a problem so stick to your diets. They had an issue with this claiming I can't police their eating habits. One of my bridesmaids claims she developed an ED from that rule but there's no official diagnosis so idk if she's valid.
My MOH's daughter is supposed to be our flower girl but MOH claims she can't do this since the kid will have to stay with a babysitter at a hotel after the ceremony. She lives 4 hours away from me and where I'll be having my wedding.
She planned on letting her daughter with her mom to save money on babysitters and refuses to bring the kid as a flower girl and leave her at the hotel with a babysitter.
My in-laws have been against most of our rules from the start. My parents supported us until now but my mom got so mad that she said our wedding is doomed from the get go with these rules. Many people are cancelling on us last minute and bridesmaids threaten to drop out.
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
Dramatic-Rip5605 said:
YTA. Both you and your future husband are bat shit crazy. Don't be surprised when the cancellations continue to roll in.
lianavan said:
You can make all the rules you want, but be ready to have fewer people at your wedding if you persist so rigidly. Also don't use your MOHs child as a prop. It's her child, not "the kid."
broadsharp2 said:
YTA. Your rules will be enforced at the expense of your guests and most likely quite a few friendships. If you want an empty ceremony and few people at your reception, then by all means be the dictator you come across as.
[deleted] said:
YTA. Glad I’m not invited because I would decline. Your Mom is right that these are dumba^% rules
Baldussimo said:
YTA - this is absolutely nuts. You are controlling people's diets! You honestly can't think these rules are ok. Nuts I say.
Steelguitarlane said:
YTA. Were I one of your friends, I'd be looking forward to missing this.
caroline0409 said:
YTA. The only thing that could make this any worse would be if the wedding was dry.