'Prettier' sister of bride refuses to wear teal; bride says 'she’s already going to stand out.'
Part of being a bridesmaid is wearing whatever the bride tells you to, right?
when a conflicted bride decided to vent to the beautifully petty moral compass of the internet about her dress choices, people were ready to weigh in.
"AITA for expecting my sister to wear a certain color to my wedding?"
So little bit of backstory. I got engaged in August and the wedding is in June. Now, I have a had a relatively relaxed approach to this wedding as I’m not exactly a “traditional” bride and I don’t really care what happens on the day as long as I get married to my amazing fiancé.
I have 6 bridesmaids in total with my sister being Maid of Honor. All of my bridesmaids are different shapes and sizes (2 of them being pre-teens) and I really wanted them all to feel comfortable so I decided to let them choose their own dresses.
They have no expectation to match in style, shape or length but there was one thing that I did expect them to (kind of) match in which is color -which is teal- and even then, I never expected them to get the EXACT same shade of teal because that would just be insanely difficult.
I was just going to get them matching accessories for the day so they are recognized as Bridal party.
Now, my sister is the slimmest and probably tallest out of my bridesmaids (and just generally stunning to look at) and I feel like I have been more than considerate to all of my bridesmaids by letting them choose what to wear and they have been super appreciative of this...OTHER THAN MY SISTER!
She is refusing to wear teal. So much so, that she has bought a light pink, plain, short skater dress and said she’s wearing that, which would be fine if she was a guest but she’s my Maid of Honor, she should look like she’s in my Bridal party.
And PINK?! She couldn’t have picked a worse color for my wedding if she tried as I HATE pink and she knows that. It’s completely at the opposite end of the spectrum for what I want.
My sister, is slimmer and prettier than me, so she’s already going to stand out as a stunner at this wedding, but by wearing a pink and plain dress I feel like she’ll be standing out for the wrong reasons.
I would much prefer her stand out as an amazing MoH with a beautiful, glitzy gown and just looking generally stunning, rather than everyone staring at her because she’s decided to be completely childish over a color!
I am so close to just giving in and letting her wear pink but it’s MY wedding and this is the ONLY thing I have been insistent on because my wedding has a subtle “ocean” theme.
So am I the ahole? because this whole situation has put a strain on our relationship as sisters to the point where we haven’t really spoken for two months.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:
Llyndreth said:
NTA. Call her bluff. 'Sister since my bridal party are all wearing a teal dress you are choosing not to be part of my wedding. I wish you would have told me sooner you didn't want to participate in my wedding. Don't worry I will still make sure you are in the family photos.'
'But I am your MoH! And I am going to wear this dress!' 'Well unfortunately those choices are mutually exclusive. You can either wear whatever you want or you can be part of my wedding party. Please let me know what you choose as soon as possible so I can make other arrangements if necessary.'
Be polite but firm. Keep telling her that it's her choice. You aren't asking for anything unreasonable.
Having your sister as your MoH would be nice but why would you want someone who doesn't respect you or support your decisions to stand up for you on your big day? If you cave all you are doing is enabling her behavior.
pandatree_157 said:
NTA. It’s your wedding and your bridal party. There is NOTHING unreasonable about wanting your bridal party to wear your wedding colour and you’re even being accommodating by allowing them to choose whatever dress they want to wear as long as it is in that color.
You’re being more than fair and your sister is refusing to play ball. To be honest it sounds like she may want to have some of the attention on herself that day. She needs to remember that it’s not her day and it’s not about her.
RebeccaP43 said:
NTA. I’m in a similar situation. Currently battling my MOH who is my middle sister. Wants to wear a jumpsuit in a different color.
I don’t care about jumpsuit, as I told my bridal party to get whatever style they want as long as it’s the same color (I am using Azazie), but I don’t want her to wear a black jumpsuit while other BMs are in burgundy. Hopefully our sisters will concede!
hyena_cub said:
NTA The wedding party is wearing teal. She is part of the wedding party. If she does not want to wear teal, she can bow out. I have never heard of a MOH-zilla before, but I suppose they exist. Good luck!
lazy_bibiliophile said:
NTA. It's your wedding and you have not demanded anything unreasonable. Your sister should not be adding to the stress. Is she OK with not being a part of your bridal party? Why is she so insistent on not wearing teal?
[deleted] said:
NTA. You are being perfectly reasonable. She can either suck it up and wear a teal dress or not be in your wedding party.
luvquin said:
NTA. Short skater dress is that even appropriate for MOH?