Bride bans MIL from 'surprise' redecorating her house as a 'wedding gift.' AITA? MINI UPDATE

"AITA for refusing to let my mother-in-law redecorate our entire house as a 'wedding gift?'"

My fiancé (28M) and I (27F) are getting married in three months. His mother, “Karen,” has always been very involved in his life, sometimes to an overwhelming degree. When we bought our house last year, she offered numerous unsolicited decorating suggestions, which we politely declined.

Recently, Karen announced that as a wedding gift, she wants to redecorate our entire house to reflect her “superior taste.” She even presented us with a mood board and a list of contractors she’s already contacted. The kicker? She expects us to move out for two weeks so she can complete the transformation as a “surprise.”

I was floored and told her that while we appreciate the gesture, we are happy with our current décor and don’t want any changes. She became visibly upset, accusing me of being ungrateful and trying to “erase her influence” from her son’s life. My fiancé supports my decision, but Karen has been calling him daily, crying and insisting that we’re making a huge mistake.

Now, some family members are saying we should just let her do it to keep the peace, arguing that it’s a generous gift and we can always change things back later. But I feel like this is a massive overstep and sets a bad precedent for future boundaries. AITA for refusing my MIL’s “gift?"

MINI UPDATE:

Thanks for all the advice—it really helped us navigate this situation. My fiancé and I had a long talk with Karen, where we firmly but kindly explained that while we appreciated her intentions, redecorating our house without our input wasn’t something we were comfortable with. She seemed upset but said she understood and reluctantly agreed to drop the idea. Or so we thought.

A couple of days later, Karen sent us a “revised gift idea.” Instead of redecorating the whole house, she now wanted to remodel just one room our bedroom. She even had a new mood board ready, complete with luxurious bedding and wallpaper samples. She claimed it would be her way of giving us “the perfect space to start our married life.”

While her offer was smaller in scale, we could see it for what it was: another way to insert her influence. We politely declined again, and this time, my fiancé took the lead in making it clear that no changes would happen without our consent. She wasn’t thrilled but agreed to step back for now.

The twist? When we were packing up decorations for our upcoming wedding, we found a receipt in one of the boxes—Karen had already ordered some of the bedroom furniture. She claimed it was “just in case we changed our minds,” but it felt like a subtle way to pressure us.

For now, the furniture is being returned, and we’re holding firm on our boundaries. My fiancé has been amazing through all this, and actually temporarily banned her from coming to the house until she apologizes and agrees to finally accept our request for now we’re doing alright though she hasn’t apologized she’s been off our backs.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

deerholy said:

That's not a wedding gift that's a form of control. NTA.

orange_lover444 said:

NTA. Who the actual hell does your MIL think she is?

Odd-Celebration-27 said:

NTA. Forcing you to move out to redecorate is insane. It's your house, you should make all the decisions about it.

keesouth said:

NTA. This is a power play. You need to nip this in the bud immediately.

au5000 said:

NTA. The other family members can use Karen’ superior taste in their homes then. Your fiancé needs to have a strongly worded conversation with his mother…sort her interfering out now or it will never end.

Tiny-Extreme-4127 said:

NTA. Tell the family who is giving you crap about that his mother can redo their houses as a surprise instead! Be sure to thank them for their offer as well to really cement it in