Bride asks if she's wrong for fighting with grandma over 'revealing' wedding dress.
Styles change, but Grandma's opinions don't.
Reddit user u/Own-Entrepreneur3640 loves the dress she chose for her upcoming wedding, but her grandma thought it was too sexy.
Now, this bride-to-be is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for telling my grandma not to touch my wedding dress?'
I (23F) am getting married, and just picked up my wedding dress. It’s not going to be in alterations until closer to the wedding. Until then, I asked my grandma if I can keep it at her house so my fiancé doesn’t accidentally see it. She said yes.
When I brought it over to her house, I tried it on and showed her. Overall she liked it, but she is an old-fashioned elderly woman, and of course, did not like that I looked so “busty” in my dress. I have a large chest, it doesn’t matter what I wear, anyone with eyes can see that I have big boobs.
She then started eyeing my dress and said she is going to make changes to make it more “modest”. I said that wasn’t necessary, because I already have alterations being done in the future by the bridal salon I got the dress from.
She asked if they are “covering up” the boob area, and I said no. My dress isn’t even “revealing”, because like I said earlier, I have big boobs and it doesn’t matter what I wear, you can tell I’m large-chested. Even if it was revealing, I don’t have a problem with it.
She then made a fuss about how I’m “hanging everything out” and kept suggesting changes she would make on the dress. I told her not to make any changes to my dress while it was in her possession, but she flat-out ignored me.
I didn’t even think she would have a problem with the dress in the first place because I don’t even feel that it’s “sexy” or even revealing. She then does not shut up about how much she hates how “low-cut” (it's not) the dress is.
'I told her that if she feels tempted to alter my dress without my knowledge, then I’ll find someone else to hang on to the dress for me. She then got defensive and said that my wedding wasn’t a parade for everyone to look at my chest.'
She then went on and on about the dress and even started to stoop so low as to insult me and my “morals”, and said if I didn’t cover up my chest more, I was dishonoring god.
I then wrapped it up and said my goodbyes, and took my dress back home with me. When I told my mom everything that happened, she said that even though she doesn’t want my grandma altering my dress either, and that my dress isn’t even revealing, she said I started a fight for no reason and that I should apologize to my grandma.
I didn’t feel like it was a fight because I was still being very respectful of my grandma despite her yelling at me. I just let her say what she had to say, gathered my things, and left. I felt that it was uncalled for when my grandma started questioning my morals and my relationship with god all because of a dress.
I hate to have this conflict with my grandma, especially with the wedding coming up, but I feel so hurt that she insulted me, and when I stood up for myself and told her she couldn’t alter my dress, I was made to be the bad guy. So AITA?
Grandmas gonna grandma. Older generations might not agree with brides showing skin on their wedding day, but Grandma had her chance at a modest wedding, now it's her granddaughter's turn to wear whatever she wants on her big day.
Reddit users firmly agreed that this bride-to-be is 'Not The A**hole' for refusing to let her grandma alter her wedding dress. I think we all let out a big sigh of relief when OP mentioned she did not leave the dress unattended at grandma's house. Hopefully, her family comes around and they can celebrate the wedding together.
NTA. Good thing you took your dress with you. Gramms would have probably made alterations without your knowledge
The proper response is 'God gave me these, why wouldn't I show them off. Don't want to hide the glory of his creation do we?
NTA, and your mom is wrong. You didn’t start a fight…your grandma did. And you KNOW she would have ruined the dress if you had left it there.
NTA at all. Your wedding is YOUR day. Even if you wanted to wear a skimpy dress, that’s not her choice. Wear whatever makes you feel beautiful, and if your grandma has a problem with that she’s TA. It was a smart choice to take the dress away, as it seemed she was set on altering it regardless of your opinion. You did nothing wrong.
NTA Your grandmother behaved really poorly and crossed a line. Her behavior understandably caused you to lose trust and you acted accordingly (and reasonably). I'm sorry that you're going through this - but I bet your wedding will be amazing.
NTA - she was 100% going to alter your dress no matter what you said so you had no choice but to take the dress with you. You were not the one who started this either, your grandma was. If anything you are the one who is owed an apology, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for one. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and good luck!
NTA!! It’s your wedding dress that you’re going to wear on your wedding day. If Grandma can’t find it in her heart to be happy for you and stay trustworthy to you, that’s her issue.
From one big-chested gal to another: hell yes to finding an amazing wedding dress that makes you feel confident and beautiful. I sincerely hope your grandmother swallows her qualms and misogyny and is able to celebrate with you when the time comes.