Bride asks if she's wrong for refusing to let 'deadbeat' dad walk her down the aisle.
Many little girls dream of having their dad walk them down the aisle on their wedding day, but some fathers simply do not deserve that honor.
Reddit user u/Many_Ad8224 has been ghosted by her biological father for 16 years. He refused to help raise her or pay any child support, yet now demands he be apart of his daughter's wedding. She refused to let him play any role in her wedding, but some people say that no matter what he did, he's still her father.
Now, this bride is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for not letting my father be part of my wedding?'
She writes:
My (22f) father (64m) decided he wanted to play dad again when he found out I was getting married. He hasn't spoken to me in 16 years when he divorced my mom. He chose not to have a relationship with me because he thought he wouldn't have to pay child support that way.
Well, because of his previous abuse and gas lighting, I have severe depression and social issues as well as trust issues. While I was planning my wedding, he decided he was entitled to be involved. He got my number from my aunt and called me.
The whole conversation was basically him telling me that he's still my dad and that my fiance needs to ask for his blessing or he will object the union. It needed to be a Christian wedding. I will make his other kids part of the wedding party. The one that made me snap was when he told me he was walking me down the aisle and my stepdad wasn't allowed to even attend.
I lost my mind and screamed at him basically telling him that he is only my dad biologically. He lost all rights to my life when he walked away and never looked back. He wasn't invited nor where his other kids. I ended it all by telling him if he ever called me again, I'll call the cops since he now has a warrant for his arrest because he didn't pay child support.
'I said, 'My stepdad is my father and he will walk me down the aisle.''
All of his family just found out about the wedding and are calling me saying I'm an asshole because no matter what he did, he is still my father.
Reddit users all agreed that this bride is 'Not The A**hole' for refusing to let her dad be a part of her wedding. He lost that right when he abandonded her. He can't just show up now and make demands about her wedding day. She has every right to have her stepdad (or anyone she chooses) walk her down the aisle on her special day.
Many people commeneted that just because this man is her biological father, that doesn't mean he gets the privilege of being her dad. Do you agree?
Absolutely NTA. He’s not your father. He’s the sperm donor. His existence has allowed you to come into being, but that is true of all your ancestors. It’s not like he wants a relationship with you either - he just wants to control you. You’re far better off without him in your life, shared genes or no.
He may have been your father, [girl], but he wasn’t your daddy. Absolutely NTA
NTA, and well done! I'm sure your stepfather appreciates the gesture, too. As for the rest of his family, just tell them what you told us: he can't go waltzing in after all these years, not asking but telling you what to do with your wedding.
NTA. He gave up his right to be involved with all the fun stuff when he gave up his responsibility to be involved with all the hard stuff.
NTA - he ghosted you for 16 years so he doesn't get to be butthurt because you have a life that he chose not to be a part of.
NTA he chose to leave, it’s your choice to let him back in. He doesn’t deserve to play dad after neglecting you like he did. He is your DNA donor, he’s not your dad or your parent. He wasn’t there, he didn’t parent.
NTA. Shaking my head at the people saying he's still your father. He chose not to be your father a long time ago, and your stepdad filled in the gap perfectly, it seems. You know who your dad is. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Seriously, what the f*ck is this guy thinking, that he can just waltz back into your life and start dictating stuff like this? I'd honestly love to see him show up at your wedding and get taken away by the cops. That'd be the only acceptable wedding gift from him.