Bride gives MIL 3 days to pay up after secretly trying on her wedding dress. AITA?
Everyone knows that the groom isn't supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony, but what about when the groom sees is mother in the bride's dress?
So, when a frustrated bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her sneaky future mother-in-law trying on her wedding dress, people were ready to judge.
"AITA for giving FMIL 3 days to pay me for a new wedding dress or else I show the family a photo of her wearing it?"
So, I'm getting married to my fiance soon. I bought my wedding dress weeks ago. His my (FMIL) kept pestering me about trying it on but I firmly refused. I finally shut it down after she offered me $100 to let her try it on.
Her reasoning for persisting so much? She says it's because of her 'love' for wedding dresses and her obsession with them.
Fast forward to yesterday, I came home from work early and I found my fiance at home. He freaked out after seeing me and tried to prevent me from going into my room while trying to text somebody on his phone.
I opened the door and was shocked to see his mom standing there wearing my dress. I instantly pulled out my phone and took a photo of her in it. She and my fiance freaked out after I told her that she needed to pay me for a new dress in 3 days or else I'll show the whole family the photo.
She started crying and then left and my fiance blew up at me saying I can't be serious and that I overreacted because his mom just wanted to try the dress on, no harm done.
But I refused to listen to him because in my opinion, the dress should only be worn by the bride and the bride only. Quite frankly, I felt disgusted looking at the dress again, I don't want it anymore.
And so I think it's fair that she pays me after she ruined it for me. He yelled at me. and told me to wake up and stop treating his mom like that as if she was an enemy. We had a fight after he failed to get me to back down and he's been staying with his mom since then.
I felt awful, but I spent 3k on this dress and worked hard to get it, I can't stand looking at it but people in my family think I'm escalating things and risking my relationship with not only FMIL but my fiance as well. AITA?
Yikes...how do we encourage a safe 'Runaway Bride' situation? Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this wedding dress mess...
Moose-Live said:
NTA, but are you sure you want to marry this guy? He stood guard outside your bedroom so that his mother could try on your wedding dress. Do you think he will ever stand up for you against her?
Connect-Yam5209 said:
He knowingly went behind your back to help his mom try on your dress. He knew it was wrong, he knew you would be upset and yet he did it anyway.
Then he doubled down and defended his mother when you caught them. You don't have a MIL problem, you have a husband problem. Do not marry with this man without addressing and resolving this issue. It will literally only get worse from here. NTA.
DemonGoddessLillith said:
NTA but girl why would you marry this man? He LET his MOTHER WEAR YOUR WEDDING DRESS. That doesn’t make your skin crawl?
Champi_Feuille said:
NTA but honestly don't ask for money. He stood guard while his mom tried on your dress, you really wanna get stuck in a relationship like this? Show the photo to everyone, cancel the wedding and dump his a$s. You deserve better than that.
Diasies_inMyHair said:
NTA. You might want to reconsider the wedding altogether. Your fiancee allowed her in, was trying to cover for her, and then blew up at you for being upset!
Did she model the dress for him? Because if she did or was going to, I'm afraid that would be a dealbreaker for me, the whole idea of the Groom seeing his Mother in the wedding gown BEFORE the Bride wears it is just....gross. Even worse if the Groom were on board with that.
Rohini_rambles said:
Think about it. Your fiance wanted to see his mom in your wedding dress first...Never compete with a mother to win over a mama boy. You deserve better. NTA This will be your life if you stay with this guy. She'll come to honeymoons, vacation, delivery room, all these will be the battles you fight both of them on.
81optimus said:
Nta. This could be the best (non) wedding present you ever get. He's just shown you he'll always side with her. You want this for the rest of your life? Think long and hard before saying 'I do.'
aiaenuh said:
Don’t get yourself a new dress. Get yourself a whole new man.
Later, the post was updated to include:
My fiance called and offered to pay for the dress himself so we can 'end the conflict' but he wants me to :
hand him my phone so he can delete the photo himself.
Swear that I don't have any copies to 'use' against his mom later.
Apologize to his mom.
And lastly, He asked that I quit his family group chat and log out of facebook for at least a month. I haven't responded yet.
P.s He called with this offer/conditions hours ago but I didn't want to include this in the post but now I did. Also, I'm not sure if I'll agree because I don't want him to pay for it, I want his mom, the one who wore it to pay for it. Not being vicious but trying to hold her accountable.