Bridesmaid shares the saga of her bridezilla friend 'scamming' her and rest of bridal party. AITA? UPDATED
When this woman shares the saga of her bridezilla friend "scamming" her and all the bridesmaids, she asks the internet:
"My friend (a bridezilla) tried to scam me and all the bridesmaids. AITA?"
Several years ago, a friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. There were six of us plus the MOH so seven total. The bride had picked out her dress already, one for the MOH, and one for the bridesmaids.
The dress itself was lovely but a bit expensive at $400 each since two of us were still in college and the rest had recently graduated. I was one of the two still in college so money was super tight. Anyhow, the bride asked the MOH to coordinate with all of us for fittings/ alterations and such as one of her duties.
The MOH decided she would pay for all of the dresses on her credit card because she wanted the air miles and we would pay her back directly. None of us minded, especially since she was going to let us pay her back in installments if we needed. I definitely needed.
I wasn't able to go with everyone to pick up the dresses because finals week and planned to go by myself the following weekend. No big deal.
The MOH said she would pay for mine on the group trip but to call her if there were any issues with the dress itself and she would handle it. I get there and the dress fits perfectly.
The shop owner scoots off while I'm changing back into my street clothes since she has another client coming in but confirms we're all set. As I'm walking out the door, another person working there yells out hey, that will be $200! I was stunned and totally mortified.
I apologized and explained how I thought the MOH had paid for it the weekend before. The shop owner comes running over to diffuse the situation and confirmed the dress was paid for already. I turned to walk out and suddenly realized she said $200 and not $400.
Long story short, the dress was only $200. When I confronted the MOH about it, she spilled the beans. Apparently, the bride and MOH plotted together to charge us double to to help pay for the bride's dress. I let the rest of the bridesmaids know and four of us dropped out of the wedding immediately.
Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
notmyfirstrodeo writes:
NTA. I was in a wedding where the bride picked traditional Mexican peasant dresses for her bridesmaids. She told us it was going to cost $150,00 for them to be hand made.
The day of the wedding comes around, and the mom is walking around telling all the bridesmaids to return the skirt party because they came out of her personal collection. I was so mad at being made to spend $150.00 on a top, that I chose to keep the stupid skirt on principle. To this day I really don’t think the tops cost 150.00 to make, and that money went to cover other expenses. Tacky.
maggiemazy writes:
NTA. I had a very inexpensive wedding by todays standards for 250 people and a grand total of 3k half of which went to the reception hall. So technically only 1500. My bridesmaids dresses were $28.00 each that way if they chose not to wear them again they wouldn't be out hundreds of dollars.
I had friend who wanted me to pay over 100 for mine which I did but honestly I don't get why people would expect others then their parents or themselves to pay for things like the bridal dress. I bought my own dress at 400$ really not a huge expense.
Just baffling to deceive others to want to do that. I can see the bride being frugal and all her friends coming together to get her a dress but those are few and far between circumstances. She wants to have a big affair or have an expensive dress she should pay for it herself.
wonderlandgir6 writes:
I had a friend pick out a $400 bridesmaid dress, but I grinned and bared it and paid for it.
Things happened where the MOH didn't tell me about all the wedding things so the bride thought I didn't care about her or the wedding because I missed her 3 bridal showers and group fittings. (She didn't like I was so close to the bride and majorly sabotaged our relationship from this bs)
No joke 10 days before the wedding on April Fools, she sends me an email and kicks me out of the wedding party. I had literally had to work two weeks straight to get the weekend off. I stood at work in the back room bawling.
So I called the bridal shop and they didn't want to give me my money back. I said call the bride and talk to her because if I don't get my money back I'm taking the dress. (It had already been fitted to my replacement.)
I had my refund in the form of a cheque (I paid by credit card) that evening by the time I was done work. Bride and I didn't talk for two years after.
And now, OP's update:
I guess I half expected it to leak to the other shaming groups but I was unprepared for it to be blasted everywhere and come full circle. Lol. I don't even know where to begin. If I write it all out, will you share anonymously like the last time?
The wedding took place several years ago, almost a full 10 now, and I hadn't spoken to the bride and MOH since. The only other people I knew were the 3 other bridesmaids that dropped out with me.
The 2 other bridesmaids were cousins (of the bride) and they agreed to continue on as a favor to their mom (bride's aunt) to avoid family drama. More on them in a bit.
Fast forward to now. I got an email from the MOH who wanted to apologize again. She wasn't making excuses for her behavior. On the contrary, she acknowledged her wrongdoing and said she still felt incapable of saying no to the bride/her friend.
She was pretty disgusted with herself and relieved when I confronted her (to her credit, she said as much back then). They'd been friends forever and it took her a really long time to see behind the mask and how toxic the friendship had always been and the part she played in it. For what it's worth, I believe her.
A quick flashback, I hadn't yet paid for the dress when the truth came out, so I just turned it over to the MOH. The 3 other bridesmaids got their money back immediately without any hassle.
The MOH apologized like crazy at the time to all of us, but we just wrote her, the bride, and the whole situation off. None of us ever heard from the bride. No apologies, no nothing.
Turns out, the bride never reimbursed the MOH for anything. Initially, the bride said she would repay her but after the wedding, everything changed. She said if the MOH hadn't spilled the beans, she wouldn't be out all the money and it's the price paid for being a disloyal friend.
And the MOH wasn't just out the $200 x 6 bridesmaids dresses, the bride had also convinced the MOH to charge the wedding dress because it would be easier for the bride to pay off the balance at the end.
When the MOH threatened to take the bride to court, the bride said her cousins (the 2 bridesmaids) would say the MOH came up with the whole scheme and have her arrested for fraud.
She found out years later the cousins never agreed to such a thing and would've been willing to go to court and say the exact opposite.
They were disgusted by the whole situation too and wanted to drop out but their mother (bride's aunt) pushed them to keep appearances up for the family. They even told the MOH the replacement bridesmaids paid the bride $200 cash for each dress (none of which made it to the MOH).
I almost forgot the funny part! The bride told her FH (Future Husband) the 4 of us dropped out because we were jealous of her. So her whole family plus the MOH knew the truth but not the FH nor anyone in his family had any clue.
And there was also much more behind the scenes the MOH was privy to that we didn't see and wouldn't anyway after we dropped out. Apparently, the bride manipulated her entire family into paying for most of the wedding and the honeymoon.
The dresses were supposed to be her one and only responsibility and likewise, the FH was responsible for the suits. That's not what she had told us at the time and even bragged her FH was paying for everything.
The bride also tried to manipulate her future in-laws into buying her a new car as a wedding present. They didn't and in revenge, she interrupted the mother and son dance just moments after it started.
Like looked at the MOH and said "watch this" and then waltzed out onto the floor and basically shoved her new MIL out of the way. She also accused the reception wait staff of trying to ruin the photos by getting in the way of the photographer as they were serving the guests.
Even after the photographer confirmed they were not in any of the shots, she still insisted they would have to personally reimburse her (even though she never paid for anything in the first place).
Oh it gets worse... at the brunch the morning after, the MOH said the bride gave a short toast to herself and didn't thank anyone and barely acknowledged her new husband.
As for the MOH, she says she tried to collect the money she was owed but eventually accepted it was gone and cut off all ties. Even still, the bride would reach out every couple of months to ask if she was done being such a "bitch" yet.
When the MOH blocked her number, the bride spread rumors about the MOH and her fiancé Pe the time (now husband) saying that he was an "illegal" (apologies, I loathe that word and people who use it.
Your group and the ring shaming group are the only two shaming groups that shut it down. If it's not ok even in this context, please let me edit the post. I don't want to get banned and have to go back to the racist wedding shaming groups lollol) marrying her only for the green card and claimed they used government assistance to pay for the wedding.
Meanwhile, he already had become an American citizen long before they met and was/is a before they met and was/is a ridiculously successful software engineer who paid for the entire wedding himself and took not only his immediate family but hers too to Hawaii for the honeymoon. The bride was just jealous the MOH had everything she wanted.
As for the bride, she's on divorce number two already and estranged from her entire family because they got tired of her manipulating and using them too.
I think that's everything she shared with me. I'll reach out if I remember anything else. Please, make sure my name is covered.
ga65 writes:
I kind of agree but I also know how it feels to be manipulated and controlled and not feel strong enough to stand up to someone and the intense anxiety that goes along with it. Personally, even at my lowest point...
I still wouldn't have agreed to this and I'd have just gritted my teeth and walked away, but I'm also aware that there are people who just can't cope with it. The bride deserved the debt (and more, for being a shitty person!),
but the MOH did deserve the anxiety of having everyone realise she went along with it and then having to fight the bride for the money, if only for the learning experience. I don't think she deserved to get permanently stuck with all that debt.