'AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she was jealous of my cat?'
"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she was jealous of my cat?"
So, this just happened, and I still don’t know how to feel. I (28M) was dating Emily (26F) for a little over a year. Things were great—until it came to Jasper, my cat.
I’ve had Jasper for five years. He’s my little shadow, my best friend, my comfort after long days. When I got him, I was going through a rough time, and honestly, he’s the reason I got through it. He’s never just been a pet to me—he’s family.
Emily never liked him. She wasn’t allergic or scared of cats; she just… didn’t like the attention I gave him. She’d roll her eyes when I talked to him, get annoyed when he sat between us on the couch, and absolutely hated that he slept in bed with us. She’d always make comments like, "It’s weird how attached you are to him," or "You treat him like a person."
At first, I thought she was just joking. But over time, the little comments turned into actual fights. She’d get upset if I canceled plans because Jasper was sick or if I got home late and greeted him before her.
Then, last night, it all blew up.
We were arguing—again—about Jasper being in bed with us. Emily snapped and said, "I feel like I’m competing with a damn cat! Do you even love me?"
That hit hard. Because yes, I did love her. But the fact that she saw Jasper as some sort of rival instead of just… part of my life? That stung.
Then she gave me an ultimatum. "It’s him or me."
I knew what she wanted me to say. But I also knew that love shouldn’t come with ultimatums.I took a deep breath and said, "I’m choosing the one who never made me choose."
She started crying, called me insane, grabbed her stuff, and left. I haven’t heard from her since. Now I’m sitting here with Jasper curled up on my lap, wondering if I made a huge mistake. I loved her. But I also love him. And I can’t help but feel like if she really loved me, she wouldn’t have asked me to give up something so important.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
OMG, no way! That ultimatum was seriously messed up. Jasper isn't just some random animal; he's your family. You did the right thing, seriously. Anyone who makes you choose like that isn't worth it.
Jasper’s not just a pet, he's been your support through tough times. Anyone who tries to come between that bond is showing a lack of respect for your feelings. It's one thing if someone doesn’t vibe with pets, but to give you an ultimatum like that? That's a red flag. You definitely made the right call.
A needy shallow person who is threatened by cats stealing the attention is not for you. Imagine what she would be like with a child! This is where evil stepmoms are born. Move on.
I'm a catlady married to a catman. Ensure that the next person you date loves cats.
My dude, that was likely the first of many ultimatums and a huge red flag. You made the right decision. Hang with Jasper and eventually you will find someone who cares about both of you. NTA.
The cat staying in the bed is definitely disrespectful to your partner if they don't want the cat there. I think your girlfriend over reacted but somewhere in there she probably also had a point, it sounds like you prioritised the cat's minor wellbeing over your girlfriend's. I wouldn't enjoy that either. ESH