"AITA for not letting my brothers pregnant girlfriend use my bathroom?"

I know the title sounds horrible, please try to hear me out 😅 Some backstory: So I (24F) live in an area where it’s impossible to find apartments/rentals, and when you do find them the rent is usually over $1500. I also have 2 big dogs and a cat. So renting is basically impossible for me.

My parents have a house (my childhood home) in this area but they currently live in another city about 4 hours away for work. For those reasons, i live in my childhood home. My parents and I are besties and this whole arrangement works great for all of us. They need someone to watch over the house, and i need somewhere to live. It’s the perfect solution. They come visit me about once a month.

My brother (23) was working in another state on a contract, so his job paid for him to live in a hotel. When his contract ended, he didn’t line another one up or find any other work to do.

Also despite making great money and not having to pay for housing, he didn’t save any money from this last job he had. So he moved home with me, and he brought his girlfriend (22) and their dog. They were supposed to be here for “a couple weeks max” while he found another contract, most likely in a different state.

They’ve been here for 2 months now. They got a cat who they’re hiding from my parents. They don’t have jobs. They borrow money from my parents for everything. They sleep all day and leave the house trashed all the time. And a couple weeks ago we found out that she’s pregnant!

Mine and my brother’s bedrooms are right across from each others and we used to share a bathroom. When i found out they were coming here, i moved all of my toiletries upstairs to the guest room bathroom so I wouldn’t have to share with them. I always hated sharing a bathroom with him. My parents knew about this and were okay with me taking over the guest room bathroom.

Well a few weeks ago, before knowing she was pregnant, they went out for her birthday with my parents and she got drunk enough that my mom had to put her in the guest room bathroom bathtub to clean up after puking on herself.

Ever since she found out about the bathtub in “my” bathroom, she is constantly asking to use it. Their bathroom only has a shower. She will usually text me when I’m at work to ask and i never know what to say because i don’t want her to use it but i feel like an a$$hole for not wanting to share.

I know that it’s stupid and probably makes me sound so spoiled, but i just want my own bathroom all to myself 😫 is that too much to ask?! They have taken over the entire house. Including what used to be my bathroom! I just want this one space untouched by them.

Most of the time when she asks and i don’t respond, she will just use my bathroom anyways. I assume my brother tells her to because it’s “not technically my bathroom anyways”. Today i came home from work and rushed to my bathroom to pee and i found her asleep in the bathtub. She had texted me earlier but i didn’t respond.

I didn’t react other than telling my brother she was asleep so he could make sure she was okay. But would I be the a$$hole if i told them not to use this bathroom anymore? I talked to my parents about it and they are okay with me doing that.

If she wasn’t pregnant, i wouldn’t even hesitate to tell them not to use it. My sister thinks I’m an a$$hole because she said her baths were a lifesaver in her first trimester. And i don’t hate my brothers girlfriend, i like her and want to have a good relationship with her.

But i also don’t want to be sharing my bathroom and all my good products with her 🥲 am i a horrible person for that? I would even give her some of my good products (im hairstylist so i have lots) if that would help her enjoy her own bathroom more. Hell, I would tear apart their bathroom, redo it, and add the nicest bathtub available for her if I could. I just want my bathroom to myself. AITA?

Ps. I know the obvious solution here is to trade bathrooms with them. Unfortunately that won’t work because my mom doesn’t want my brother destroying her guest room lol he’s a nuisance

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Anniemumof2 said:

Hate to say this, but her using your bathroom isn't the biggest problem. Your brother lived rent-free, made good money, and didn't save a dime or line up another job? Good luck ever getting them out of there.

OP responded:

Oh trust me i know, im currently choosing to focus on the problems i might be able to control lol

Alternative-Depth-16 said:

Maybe, maybe not. I presume since she has 2 large dogs she works but just can't afford rent/can't find a rental with the dogs. If she doesn't work and doesn't actively search for it then I'd probably say she was, but really can't say with this limited info.

Her taking care of the house and paying her own bills is a totally different thing than just sitting there for free asking for things, which sounds like what her brother and the gf do.

OP responded:

I do work, and pay my own bills, and take care of the house ☻ this isn’t my first choice of a living situation, but it worked great for me and my parents before my brother moved in!

helper_robot asked:

I’m a little confused. You add a lot of extraneous detail about your brother’s and his girlfriend’s financial and personal habits. You accuse them of freeloading, as if this helps strengthen your case that only you should get to use the guest bathroom.

In reality, aren’t you also living in your parents’ home for free? Aren’t you a year older than your brother? And if you were to reply, “that’s not the point, this is about the bathroom”—well, exactly.

OP responded:

who said i was living here for free? lol. I included details about both of our situations as well as the housing crisis in my area to stress the fact that living somewhere else isn’t really an option for any of us. And also the fact that they are messy people, even when they have all day to clean up after themselves because they don’t have jobs to be at. I never said they were freeloading.

Pretty sure none of us want to be in this situation at all actually. Like i said in the very beginning, my parents and i get along very well and loved our arrangement because it’s mutually beneficial for us. Sure id like to have my own place and im working towards that, but that doesn’t happen overnight. I wouldn’t even think about restricting parts of the house if my parents didn’t agree with me about it.

Cevohklan said:

Whoever pays rent gets to decide. I'm thinking that's your parents.

boymama85 asked:

Doesnt she herself have two dogs and a cat? What is that saying about the kettle and the pot?

OP responded:

My parents know about my animals 🤷‍♀️ and are fine with them being here! Because I’m taking care of the house, working, and paying my own bills.

And porterramses said:

So….he’ll trash the guest room, but it’s okay to trash the rest of the house? This is weird. Good luck tho.

Good luck, OP!