Man wants to buy fridge and refusing to let roommate and his girlfriend use it; 'they couldn't have fresh food but I can't take it.' AITA?
"WIBTA for buying a fridge and refusing to let my roommate and his girlfriend use it, even though they’d have no other way to keep their food fresh?"
frxye_
I (26M) live with my roommate (33M), who is also my coworker. We initially moved in together to share the cost of rent and groceries, and we were planning to buy a fridge together. However, since his girlfriend (28F) moved in about five months later, the dynamic has changed significantly, and that discussion was forgotten.
Now, we each buy our own groceries and kitchen supplies, including separate toiletries and even toilet paper. It feels like I’m a third wheel in my own home, and I no longer have the convenience of sharing space with my roommate. I was hoping to create a communal living environment, but instead, it has turned into separate lives.
Currently, I don’t have a fridge, and I’m considering buying one, especially since holiday sales are coming up. However, my roommate is unwilling to contribute to the cost, and I’m worried about sharing it with them since they seem to want everything separate now.
When we both get home from work, his girlfriend is usually in the kitchen cooking, and I have to wait an hour or two to use the space. I’ve suggested she cook earlier so that I can have time in the kitchen too, but my roommate prefers not to eat cold food. This situation has led to me frequently getting takeout, which is wasteful and affects my groceries since my fresh food often goes bad.
The bathroom situation is also frustrating. I handle cleaning it properly, using detergent and bleach, while they only mop with water. If the cleaning supplies run out, I end up replacing them, even if it means living with a dirty bathroom until I can afford more.
This makes me concerned about how they would clean a fridge if I were to share one with them, especially since their version of cleaning the kitchen is just doing the dishes and putting them away.
I’ve attempted to discuss house rules and boundaries with my roommate, but he believes we should just mind our own business as long as the rent is paid. I don’t feel comfortable addressing his girlfriend directly, as I’ve noticed my roommate tends to side with her in conflicts. This has made it awkward for me to try to assert my needs.
My coworkers have said I would be the AH if I bought a fridge and didn’t share it with them, which adds to my confusion about what the right thing to do is. Considering all of this, I’m contemplating buying my own fridge.
AITA for wanting to do that and not share it with them, given that they seem to want everything separate? The apartment was unfurnished and did not come with appliances. So my landlord agreed to reduce the rent and also covers utilities.
The only thing we pay is rent which is split 2 ways, and repair and maintenance for any minor damages or upkeep. Gf is not on the lease. It's been 15 months since I moved in. She's been living with us for about 10 months now.
Trust me I'm looking for another place but currently it's out of my budget at the moment to rent by myself long term. With the options I have, I'd either have to pay more in rent or pay the same plus utilities, which I can maybe afford but only for a few months.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
TemptingPenguin369
INFO: Did you discuss her moving in with your housemate? Is she paying rent? Is there currently a refrigerator in your home?
Shadow4summer
If she is not paying to live there, she doesn’t get kitchen privileges. Get the fridge and put it in your room. But move out ASAP. Let them handle all the bills.
frxye_ (OP)
She was initially supposed to stay for a week, which I was fine with. When it got to the point where she overstayed her welcome, he started to insist we do things separately. She's unemployed and stays in the house while we go to work. She does not pay rent. The house came without a fridge, so the rent was a bit lower.
New-Link5725
Look you only have two options. Tell the landlord that she move in and isn't contributing to rent. Or stop paying half the rent and only 1/3 of it. Buy rhe fridge and buy a lock for it. Stop paying half the rent. It doesn't matter if she doesn't have a job. It doesn't matter if she isn't on the lease.
She lives there, she takes up space, she's usuing utilities, she's tsking up the kitchen. Shelves there, she pays rent. If she doesn't like it then she csn move out. Stop paying half the rent and let them figure it out between themselves.
When roommate complain tell him she csn either pay up or move out. But your not paying half till shes gone. Act like an adult and Stop letting them take advantage of you. She can pay rent or move out.
Trick_Delivery4609
NTA but you are being a doormat. They are walking all over you. Stop being so nice. Do not buy a fridge for the main living area. Buy a mini fridge for just your room, if you must. Keep your door locked at all times.
You need to look for a new place. Living with them will never get better. As it is, you are subsidizing her living costs. The rent should be split 3 ways or she should move out. The fact that she isn't even cooking for both of you or doing chores correctly for all makes it worse.
Is it even ok on your rental agreement to have a 3rd person living there? You should move out ASAP. If not, only small fridge for you only. And stop letting her make the rules on your place. When you get home, start cooking in your kitchen.