'AITA for calling out my coworker for talking over me?' 'She isn’t neurotypical.'
"AITA for calling out my coworker for talking over me even though she isn’t neurotypical?"
I need some help figuring out if I’m being the ahole. My co-worker Jess has recently started her journey to get diagnosed with Autism. As such she has decided that she doesn’t want to mask at work so that she can be her real authentic self and to prevent the crash after masking at work.
However, Jess removing her mask at work happened a few weeks ago and since then she has often steamrolled any conversation I am in. Often at meetings, during parts where I am asking questions or presenting updates, Jess will just talk over me about topics that are not related to the topic.
This has only happened whenever I am talking, which is why I’ve found this odd. I’ve gently tried to tell her that, as much as I think it’s great that she is unmasking but I also need to be able to talk and communicate within meetings to prevent them dragging on with me repeating: meeting lengths have also been a problem she has raised.
Today, again during a meeting I was in the middle of presenting and Jess began to talk over me about her project plan in which I responded to her to please hold that thought or jot it down so I can finish my section quickly. Prior to this she hadn’t interrupted anyone on the agenda.
After I had finished I invited her to talk, which she did, but after the meeting she told me how rude and horrible I was to stop her from talking and that I’m not supportive of her unmasking.
I responded that I am supportive of her but if we want to keep meeting times down, I need to be able to finish my item in the agenda and that her interruptions are not being respectful. She told me she is going to our boss about this but I’m really worried that I am being an ahole? Aita?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Money_System1026 said:
NTA. Seems she can control herself enough with everyone else. Why not you? Can you voice your concerns to your boss about how to balance the interruptions with your colleague's autism. Maybe the three of you could meet to find a solution. I've had the same situation and you're handling it very professionally. I am not that calm and collected.
warpsteed said:
NTA - Being neurodivergent means that person has to work harder to behave appropriately. It does not give that person a pass to act in appropriately.
Sinusayan said:
She's started her "journey" to get diagnosed, meaning she hasn't been diagnosed yet? Gee, sounds like she diagnosed herself in order to get away with being an ahole at work. NTA.
anonymous82634 said:
NTA. She can’t expect you to be okay with making things more difficult for you, because it’s easier on her. That could lead to you being distracted and come off negatively to your bosses. Thinking she should be able to inconvenience others is selfish.
southerntakl said:
NTA. It sounds like you need a supervisor and/or HR to mediate or resolve the situation because you’ve tried to deal with it in a respectful and level headed way. I can appreciate the desire to unmask at work but you have to be able to do your job.
ItsAllKrebs said:
NTA. I thought the way you addressed this was pretty polite and professional. Yes, masking is taxing but there are standards of professionalism. Just because someone is having a personal journey doesn't mean their entire workplace has to suffer for it. You don't need to capitulate to someone being immature.
Unrelated_gringo said:
NTA - And might I even advise you to use it against them at each and every opportunity. "I have not interrupted you while you spoke, don't interrupt me."