'AITA for canceling Christmas dinner after my brother's hurtful jokes about my pregnancy?'
"AITA for canceling Christmas dinner after my brother's hurtful jokes about my pregnancy?"
For years, I have hosted Christmas dinner at my house. I absolutely love doing it, decorating, cooking, and bringing the whole family together for a special night. My younger brother, Marco has always been the family jokester, but this year, his "joke" went way too far.
A few weeks ago, I decided to surprise the family by announcing that, after years of trying, my husband and I are finally expecting a baby. I shared the news during an intimate family lunch, and everyone was thrilled... except Marco. He laughed and said, "Are you sure? With how much you eat, I just thought it was a holiday belly."
His comment hurt, but I tried to ignore it to avoid ruining the moment. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there. Marco, thinking he was so funny, created a WhatsApp group with our cousins and some relatives called "The Mystery of the Baby or the Turkey," where he shared memes and jokes about whether I was really pregnant or just gaining weight.
I found out about the group because one of my cousins showed it to me, feeling uncomfortable with the jokes. I was completely humiliated. I confronted Marco directly, but he brushed it off, saying it was just "humor" and that everyone was laughing. "Don’t take it so seriously," he added.
After days of thinking it over, I made the difficult decision to cancel Christmas dinner at my house this year. I told my family I needed a break and that someone else could host instead. Of course, everyone started asking why, and when I explained what Marco had done, opinions were split.
My mom thinks I’m overreacting and should "let it go because it’s Christmas." Some of my aunts and cousins support me, saying Marco crossed the line, but others think canceling dinner is punishing everyone else.
Now I feel guilty, but I also believe I have a right to protect my peace, especially during such an important time in my life. Am I the bad guy for not wanting to host this year after what my brother did?
Here's what people had to day to OP:
NTA. You need peace and tranquility for your pregnancy. Your brother and his attitude can go f&%^ off sideways. He's just pissy he's not going to be the center of attention anymore. If the holiday gathering is so important, someone else can step up and host for a few years. It should have been rotated anyway.
that's premeditated malice, not humor.
NTA OP, you are setting a boundary and if you cave now, your brother will never stop. And any one of the people complaining are welcome to step up and host.
Another option is to host but disinvite Marco. This is the one I might choose, if you genuinely do like hosting and everything that goes into it! That will definitely get your point across to Marco.
NTA, but couldn't you just uninvited Marco until he apologizes? You said it yourself, this is something you enjoy and it sounds like your family appreciates it too. It sounds like everyone is getting punished over one bad actor.
If you really need the break, perfectly justifiable. But, if it's just because of Marcos actions, I think it would be worth reconsidering.
NTA. I don't understand why he had to go that far for his sister's pregnancy. He's acting like he's jealous 😭 what, does he also want to get pregnant?
Yep! Definitely NTA. Your brother's behavior was disrespectful and downright cruel. His "jokes" targeted a deeply personal and joyful moment in your life, turning it into a public humiliation. Creating a group chat to ridicule your pregnancy was not harmless humor; it was mean-spirited and dismissive of your feelings.
Hosting Christmas dinner is a huge emotional and physical effort, especially while pregnant, and you have every right to set boundaries and prioritize your peace. Canceling the dinner sends a clear message that his behavior has consequences.
While your mom and others may think you're overreacting, it's easy for people to dismiss your feelings when they're not the ones being targeted. You’re not "punishing" everyone, you’re protecting yourself from further stress and showing that this kind of behavior isn’t acceptable. Marco’s actions disrupted the family dynamic, not your decision to step back.
If anyone blames you, remind them that the blame lies with Marco for crossing a line, not with you for standing up for yourself. You're allowed to prioritize your well-being, especially now.