'AITA for cashing out, enjoying life, and not giving anything to daughter?'
"AITA for cashing out, enjoying life, and not giving anything to daughter?"
I (f57) lost my husband of 25 years last year. We have a daughter (f24) who's married for 2 years. My son passed away after her marriage and it has been hell ever since. Our relationship with daughter was very good and without any incidents before her marriage. She was sweet and loving, and was a great daughter overall. She got married to the man of her choice(SIL: son in law).
After that it has all been downhill. She stopped coming to our house, stopped responding to our texts and calls, going almost NC. We weren't rich, although my husband had a lot of assets, they haven't been liquidated.
When he died, he didn't leave a will, because it was so unexpected. After his death, my dear daughter didn't even attend his funeral, nor in any other functions. She didn't even call to ask how i was.
Barely 6 months after my hubby's passing she and my SIL barged into our house and brought with them a lawyer, who told me to sign on some documents, and a blank sheet.
I know the legal processes and am not ignorant, I asked her what was in that documents. Idk what I did, but here she was, demanding me to sign some unknown docs and a blank sheet and not answering any questions.
I asked the lawyer what it was about, he said it was for transferring all the assets in her and sil's name. I said no. Here it got violent, she attacked me and i had to scream for help.
I didn't call the authorities but told her to get out before I did. She was adamant about me signing and tried to take my thumb impression. At this point my neighbors had come over and had witnessed pretty much the last part of forcing. My neighbor, bless his heart physically kicked them out.
After this, I was shaken and very hurt. I don't know what i did and i was honestly scared for my life. She kept sending me messages, though not threatening cause maybe her lawyer told her so. She kept on sending sweet messages, thanking me for making her the beneficiary, transferring all assets to her etc. I was disgusted.
A week of harrasment later, I decided I had enough, I wanted out. So I met my lawyer, he said since there was no will, I was the sole owner of all assets and could do as I wish.
Long story short, I sold everything, made 8 figures, bought a new house in a place I'd always wanted to be, far from everyone. Now I plan to enjoy the rest of my life travelling, and generally doing things I haven't been able to do, but which I've always wanted to do.
I recently heard through the gossip vine that my daughter tried to start litigation against me shortly after I sold and left but it fell through, as everything was in my name now.
She now wants to meet me and is pressuring her lackeys to contact me and make me meet her. I said no. I don't understand why she did that, because it was all going to be hers anyway. They don't know where I am presently, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I'm NC with her and my SIL, and don't have social media except reddit. AITA?
Edit: Amount is not in dollars, if converted it would come around lower 7 figures.
Edit 2: No I'm not from USA.
Edit 3: English is not my first language.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Honeybadgeroncrack
Report the 'lawyer' to the bar.
kazisukisuk
Yeah that lawyer needs a couple of decades as a Denny's line cook to think about his life choices.
LadyBug_0570
If that's not malpractice, not sure what is.
Unless he's not an attorney at all but daughter just pretended he was one to intimidate her grieving mother.
Dranask
NTA, suggest you leave all your money to a refuge for abused women, as for your daughter, she can whistle.
richoldbatlol OP responded:
I am thinking of doing that, its too much money for me to spend, I'd probably do whatever i want, then donate it or open an old age home and leave it all there.
NoCan9967
NTA spend it all and if you cant,donate whatever is left in your son & husbands name to charity they would support.
richoldbatlol OP responded:
That is a wonderful suggestion. I've already made plans with whatever I will have left, I'd like to open an old age home, or at least donate to one later when everything is settled.
grouchykitten1517
NTA shed be dead to m e. Completly 100% dead and you should report the lawyer to the bar. He witnessed and participated in a crime and should be disbarred. Your neighbor is a witness so it's not he says she says. Who's the lawyer's usual clients? The bloody Gabinos?
Apprehensive_Skin150
PLEASE get your lawyer to prepare a will for you and all the relevant powers of attorney. Make it very clear in the will your daughter is not inheriting anything and why, and name who your beneficiary(s) are.
messy_thoughts47
NTA. NAL, but I recommend taking steps immediately to prevent your daughter from trying to declare you incompetent. Speak to your attorney and financial advisor about placing the money in a trust with you as the beneficiary during your life time, then leave the money to a charity of your choice. Lock your credit down. Change any passwords. Good luck OP!
SnooWords4839
NTA - Have your lawyer send a cease-and-desist letter. Have the letter state, after they physically attacked you, and further attempt for them to contact you, you will pursue charges. Also, make a will keeping any money away from them! Sorry for your losses.