'AITA for playing cheating songs whenever my dad’s side piece walks in?'
"AITA for playing cheating songs whenever my dad’s side piece walks in causing her to have a breakdown?"
Dizzy_Yoghurt_1798
Hi I don't want to appear like a brat so l'll put some context first, I (16f) and my three brothers (10 12 13) we had a happy home life until my mom saw my ‘dad' with his mistress and his other children at another church she was volunteering for.
Everything hit the fan on my dad's side and he was disowned, the divorce happened, he married her within a month of his divorce and he got married on the day our sibling died.
It was a completely messed up time and I hated him more as every day passed, our feelings and opinions were ignored and when we refused to visit my dad they threatened to give my dad full custody and we'd never see my mom again if we didn't cooperate, unfortunately we see him every weekend and some weeks during the holidays.
It's been two years and we hate them both even more, I don't speak to her six children (1-12) which she has reprimanded us all for this and took food, clothes, toys, games etc away until we 'submitted’.
I used to hoard food in my room that I share with my youngest brother and we'd stay in our room until it's time to go home. As of recently she's taken the door from my room as she found the food and we've had to sleep in the living room and we are not allowed to leave unless we need to use the bathroom which we've got to ask permission for.
Anyway, I got sick of her horrible games and started playing cheating songs on full volume, she's been screaming, shouting and crying to my 'dad' so l stopped doing so until she walked in the room and if she stayed in the room I kept playing them and singing along.
This has been our new normal for the past couple of weeks now and my brothers have joined in too, I will not allow my mom or sister to be disrespected or have them try and force me and my siblings to call her mom, we don't want to be there, never have, never will, but they just don't get it and are selfish and self centred.
Last week she had a breakdown which I don't feel is my fault however her mom insists it is and I be sent to the wilderness camps for troubled teens, her three oldest have realised how she met our dad and have refused to visit her in the hospital too. AlTA?
Here were the top rated comments in response to the OP's post:
be-jewel-d
Withholding food from a child you are responsible for is neglect and abuse. Record every time they do it. The courts take an exceptionally dim view of it.
dubh_righ
Not to mention you cannot not provide adequate living space for a non-custodial visit. Forcing them to be without a door, or to sleep in the living room *can* be grounds for termination of forced visitation.
purplespaghetty
NTA. But you can also tell a teacher or another trusted adult that she is withholding from you. That is abuse. Hopefully CPS is called and you won’t have to spend as much time with your ‘dad’. But blast the music! Lol. Heck, I’d be willing to do anything annoying that didn’t get me in trouble, and hopefully she’ll break down and ask for truce and offer some peace that you can at least tolerate until you’re 18.
The OP responded here:
Dizzy_Yoghurt_1798
We’ve told a lot of people but as my dad knows practically everyone who’s important they don’t give a shit or he’s made me and my brothers out to be crazy and mentally unstable. I’m sick of not being listened too.
Scandalicing
If your mom has more custody time, tell her about the wilderness camp threat. Get her to apply for a court order to stop it, plus if they sent you she should be able to pull you out immediately. NTA.
The OP again responded:
Dizzy_Yoghurt_1798
She knows but can’t do shit, they went to court last year and my brother threatened to kill himself if he went back there and even when he tried we are still stuck here. They always side with my dad as they know him and he’s friends with the majority of people in this area.
No-Personality5421
NTA. Sounds like your dad only has you on the weekends, so I don't think they can send you to wilderness camps without your mother's consent. Even if they tried, your mother has the arguement that your father wouldn't be seeing you on his time, so he doesn't need the time.
The rest of it is actual abuse. Tell your mother to contact the police about the child abuse. Record it on your phone too. Don't stop at just the music, refer to her as "father's mistress" in all conversation, even when talk to her. Eventually they won't want or your sibling there, and you win.
Ok-Reply9552
Nta. 🤣I nearly cried laughing just reading the title. Honestly the breakdown was even funnier. She can’t accept that she’s the mistress. Even her own kids dont wanna visit her since she’s the mistress. Her mom cant do jack to you and I hope your dad minds his own business or that your mom can stop them from sending any of you anywhere.
xpoppyxxxx
Withholding food and taking away your privacy is quite literally a basic human rights violation. This is borderline abusive, especially the food aspect. As a 16 year old, you deserve privacy in a household filled with people who are not biologically related, and even then you still deserve it.
Please break everything down to your mom, if she has the ability to change the custody order, ask if she can. You’re at an age where you should have the option. Don’t allow the toxicity in that household to escalate because the right people aren’t aware of what’s happening.
Please tell your mom, and remember that your father’s actions, and his spouse’s are not your fault. I would possibly discuss counseling options with your mom if that’s something you might be interested in, it sounds like you’ve had a lot of chaos in your life lately and it might be a good idea to discuss it with someone who isn’t mom or dad. NTA.